She knew what was happening. Every time she did this, she knew where to place the blame.
And yet, she felt helpless. She prayed and dozed off, only to have a random noise wake her and start the cycle again. She whispered Jesus' name in the dark. She interceded for everyone she knew. She meditated on Bible verses. She tried not letting her mind wander.
The thoughts keeping her awake remained. Her heart continued its increased pace.
The Bible says, "Resist the devil and he will flee from you."
She wondered. How do you push back a feeling? How do you put aside anxiety? How do you eliminate worry? How do you resist restlessness?
She wanted God to swoop in and rescue her and sometimes He did, but not always. Often He let her work through it for a while on her own. She understood there would be more nights like this ahead. She would struggle again. Why?
She is learning to endure. It is essential for her growth. It will take practice. It is not fun, not by any means, but it is of great value and necessary. Enduring cultivates humility, strength, grace.
When she can't see past the problem, when comfort is elusive, when answers aren't forthcoming, the only thing left is trust.
Morning will come. She will be fine. She will learn. Eventually.
And she'll be better for it.
Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.
1 Peter 5:8-11