Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Do My Expectations of Myself Give the Wrong Message?

For as long as I can remember, truly, since I was a kid, I've struggled with my weight. I've prayed for God to make it a non-issue over and over and over, but He doesn't. I guess it's my "thorn in the flesh," my eternal weakness God doesn't take away so I am forced to rely on Him.

Okay.

Yeah, I say that now. Believe me, I've had plenty of temper tantrums about it. I wish I could say I've quit obsessing about it, but I'd be lying. I'm working on not, or rather, God's working on me. Today He brought me a new reason to get over it already.

If I obsess about it publicly, even if it's only with my closest friends, do I project my expectations of myself onto them? If I expect myself to look a certain way, will my friends think they should too? If I cannot be happy with myself, will they start to believe they must be a certain way to gain my love and acceptance?

Even worse, what do I say to my daughters?

Do I inadvertently place expectations on my loved ones when I put them on myself? I don't want that. I don't want to place ANY expectations on those I love. I want them to feel valued and important no matter what. I want them to know I'm in their corner at all times, that they are deeply loved , that they are safe and esteemed, no matter what their circumstances.

But if I don't give myself the same courtesy, why should they expect me to give it to them?

1 comment:

MiPa said...

Oh my! I could have easily written the first half of this post. And I desperately needed to be hit in the heart with the second half. Expectations on others. That is something to dwell on. Bless you my friend.