Monday, September 14, 2009

Surviving This Life of Grief

I miss my son. It's silly, I know. I saw him Saturday and he lives less than an hour away, but still I miss him and the ability to fix his problems or ease his stress level. I want to take care of everything for him the way I did when he was little, but I can't and I shouldn't. He has to learn to be an adult on his own, but it hurts my heart to know he will have struggles like we all do. I grieve his loss of childhood. And I miss him.

I dread what the next few years brings. In two, too short years, our daughter will join her brother into young adulthood and move out of our house. Just the thought puts a pit in my stomach and fills my eyes with tears. I have to let four children go. I want them to experience all life has to offer and am excited to see what God has planned for them, but my heart just can't take it, this gradual pilgrimage of my children out into the world. It feels like we've started a slow leak that leads to my heart becoming flat. I know it's part of life and natural and that good things will come from it, but every child's exodus will start another grieving process.

Then I hear of friends having cancer and losing their jobs and couples splitting up and kids who've lost their way and I'm aware in any tough circumstance, people grieve for what was, for the safety of before. It's hard to live in this world, this cruel place, full of pain and changes. Today is one of those days I'm not sure I have it in me to be here a lifetime. Today I fully recognize my need for power beyond what I have and I cling to my only life line.

Forever God is faithful.

He will supply what we need.

Forever God is strong.

He will lift us above the muck.

Forever God is with us.

We never walk alone.

Forever.

Forever.


We will make it, friends. If we lay our hearts into the hands of a merciful, compassionate God, we will make it through. Besides, what is the alternative? I know I don't have it in me to do it alone. I choose to latch onto THE source of strength, the same power which has comforted generations.

I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. (Lamentations 3:19-23)

Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed. Because of the Lord's great love, we will survive this life of grief and move on to something beyond our imagination.

Forever God is faithful.
Forever God is strong.
Forever God is with us.
Forever.
Forever.



1 comment:

e-Mom said...

I'm so with you Tami. Been there, doing that. The best thing in life besides our God, is each other. I find such comfort in relationships of all kinds.

Our son moved back in yesterday for 3 months... I'm so excited! Not looking forward to his departure, yet again.

On the other hand, the new found pleasures of being a couple once again have been interrupted. LOL!

We'll make it. :~D