“If a sudden jar can cause me to speak an impatient, unloving word, then I know nothing of Calvary’s love, for a cup brimful of sweet water cannot spill even one drop of bitter water, however suddenly jolted.”
by Amy Carmichael
But I'm happy to say I did okay. I didn't scream at him or blame him or call him any bad names. Delivering four different times, the worst thing coming out of my mouth was, "Let's get this sucker out of here" referring to the darling cherub stuck in the birth canal.
So why can I hold it together in the most unlikely of times (without any epidurals, mind you) and yet blow it in the minor things? Why can I grip my husband's hand sweetly (although FIRMLY) in childbirth, yet let an obscenity slip when I can't get the stupid mower started? Why can I listen quietly when the doctor says stage 4 cancer, but scream at my kids when they're being too loud? How can I keep my cool in a fender bender, yet slam the dishwasher door shut when I bang my shin on it?
What is the matter with me?
Please tell me I'm not alone.
What does this say about my spiritual condition? Do I not understand God's love? Am I full of "bitter water?"
That's a little hard to swallow. God has brought me a long way in handling my sinful nature. Just ask my sister who I used to beat on a regular basis. She's a full grown functioning adult now. Thanks be to God who helped me get my temper under control so she could live. There must be another explanation.
How about. . .I'm human? Is it possible to only spill "sweet" water, when we reside in an imperfect vessel?
Occasionally I'll get bumped and some bad comes out. It's my old self rearing its ugly head. I'm working on it and God's going gangbusters on it, but these things take time, LIFEtimes. Instead of bemoaning my bad reactions in the little stuff I need to think of them as practice to learn how to handle the big stuff. Dealing with every day annoyances develops muscles for the real crises. They remind me I can do nothing without Christ. They make me very aware of my need for a Savior.
I'll keep plugging away. One thing is sure--God will bring the opportunities! Some positive reactions in tough times is a good sign He's transforming me, isn't it?
May He continue to work in us to "will and to act according to his good purpose."
Soli Deo Gloria--To God be the Glory.
Read other impressions of this quote and say hello to one of my favorite bloggers, a woman "across the pond" as they say in her neck of the woods, at Miriam Pauline's Monologue.