I don't make any money.
I am completely reliant on my husband to bring home the bacon. Can I confess that sometimes that bothers me? It's not that my husband cares at all about how I spend the money he brings home. It's not that I don't get any say in how it's distributed. He hands me the checks and I take care of them. What gets under my skin occasionally is that I don't contribute to our family's finances at all.
I know my worth is not based on the money I bring in (Good thing!), and I know the work I do is important. I would have found a paying job a long time ago if I wasn't convinced I'm following God's plan for my life. My husband tells me all the time he thinks I should keep doing what I do, but I'd be lying if I said I don't feel tinges of insignificance sometimes for my lack of bread earning.
I remember feeling my "value" acutely when we were getting life insurance. The agent was very nice about pointing out how much money it would cost my husband if I were to die and he had to replace the services I provide, yet the life insurance policy we have on him is five times the one we have on me. What does that say to you?
Last week as I painted my daughter's room, I lamented to myself again about my lack of contribution to my family's financial resources when an encouraging thought made one of those cartoon light bulbs glow above my head.
I may not MAKE any money for my family, but I sure do SAVE them some. Isn't that almost as good? I SAVE my family money by cooking meals at home, by taping the drywall and taking care of the painting in Drama Queen's room myself. Collecting and keeping track of the coupons from retail stores has saved us hundreds of dollars. Why on Saturday alone, this tactic kept $57 in our bank account.
Saving money for them is a way of earning it, don't you think?
So this is for all you stay-at-home moms who get to feeling unimportant because you don't earn a paycheck. What you do matters. You are a vital part of your family's well-being even though you never deposit a check with your name on it. Your efforts to SAVE money for your family is another way of earning it.
2 comments:
Good for you Tami. Letting your husband shoulder the burden for providing for your family is absolutely the right thing to do. And stretching those dollars (remember home economics?) is a great way to contribute to the family finances. Statistically, many women (although they don't openly admit it) would love to be in your position. ღ
Thanks for pointing this out--a good wsy to look at it. Becoming a SAHM has been great, but an adjustment, too. At this point, I wouldn't trade it for the world and feel like I'm in the right place, but the "worth" though creeps into my mind more often than I'd like.
I think e-mom is right--the comments I've received from others in making my switch is that many would like to stay at home, but can't or don't--women tell me how lucky I am, and men have told me their wives have wanted to, but haven't been able to.
I guess we always think we want what we don't have? :)
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