On January 15, 1993, two days before my 29th birthday and me eight months pregnant, my parents announced they were getting a divorce. Two weeks later, my husband's grandmother died. Two weeks after that came the death of my uncle. A few weeks later on February 26 our second child was born. Two weeks later, our older child contracted chicken pox. Two weeks after that he suffered a couple of seizures, landing him in the hospital for a weekend and giving him a diagnosis of childhood epilepsy.
1993 was not one of my favorite years.
The emotional toll of my parents' divorce and the physical strain of having a newborn, living on little sleep with fluctuating hormones coupled with deaths and illness nearly did me in. I was sure God must have checked out of my life.
"Footprints in the Sand" hung in our bedroom, the poem about during the roughest parts of your life where there is only one set of footprints in the sand, Jesus carried you. But though it was meant to comfort, it didn't. Instead I thought, "Really?! You're really carrying me? Why can't I feel it?"
Yet my grief and exhaustion continually led me to one place. When there's nothing you can do, where do you go?
“God loves you. He loves you so much that He’s allowed this trial to push you to the point where you have no choice but to look to Him.”
~ When Life is Hard by James MacDonald ~
I can't say I'd like to live another year like 1993, but it was a bittersweet time. Though it was painful, I got a crash course in trusting God. I learned what pouring out my heart to Him really meant. I discovered only One can bring true peace, and though it may require me to walk through some tough days, I WILL get through them.
I do not walk alone.
Neither do you, friend. Are you in a difficult time of life right now? Are you wondering what God is doing or if He even sees your pain? Do what I did. Go ahead and cry your eyes out and scream at Him and tell Him what's on your heart and mind. Seek the God who hears and knows. You have nothing to lose and peace to gain. Let it out, all of it, and listen.
Give Him the chance to heal you.
You do not walk alone. This trial may be the very thing to jump start an amazing ride with God. Don't waste the pain. Use it to draw you close to Him.
If you'd like to join the In "Other" Words gang and/or read other thoughts this quote inspired, visit Debbie at Heart Choices. I highly encourage you to read Debbie's post of practical tips in surviving the tough seasons. It's well worth the click over. Thanks Debbie!
Go in God's grace this day, my friends.