Wednesday, March 09, 2011

Mothering By the Book


I'd just finished preparing to lead a Bible study on laying aside the old and putting on the new when it happened.

I blew up at my kid.

And I'm not talking stern, parental voice. I'm talking loss-of-control-yelling, let-a-curse-word-out ugliness. She slammed the door on her way out. I shoved the refrigerator. We both stuffed the tears.

Sigh. Some mother, some Bible study leader I am.

I had a little pity party and cried it out, then decided I better get ready for study. It was going to take me a little more time since I had to iron my shirt.

But when I went for the iron, it was gone, and I remembered my daughter, the very one I'd just gone off on, left it at school. The ire rose again and I grabbed my phone to send her a snarky text, when suddenly God stopped me.

Weren't you just grieved about how she left? Weren't you the one who asked my forgiveness and for wisdom? Try these on for size.

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Proverbs 15:1

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Philippians 2:3-4

Sigh. Was my iron more important than my relationship with my daughter? Did saving face and maintaining my authority matter if my she dreaded coming home?

So I texted, "I hate how you left this morning. I'm sorry."

A few seconds later, my phone buzzed.

"I'm sorry too."

And healing began.

I'm not perfect. I'm moody and selfish and worry about the expectations of others far too much. And I'm definitely NOT a model mother. But I want to be. My kids deserve better. My best shot is to follow God's lead, to know His word and be willing to apply it to ME first.

I need to mother by THE book.



Photo Credit: jamelah

1 comment:

D.J. Hughes said...

Oh, Tami, I'm so glad to know I'm not alone. I can so relate to your words here. I've had more than a few temptations to send a snarky text to my daughter about a particular circumstance (like how she forgot to do something important like turn in her registration papers for school next year), and I realize that what I'm really doing is saying "I told you so."

Sigh.

Thanks for being so real. You're a treasure.