I have a confession to make.
I've been disappointed in God lately.
I've prayed over a certain situation the last few years, something I think I've been patient about, trusting in His timing, something that is not for selfish gain or recognition for myself, but the answer to my prayers is slow in coming, or rather, maybe not coming at all. I don't understand. It feels like all the trust I've put in Him means nothing.
I plead with Him, "God, this is such a small thing for You. Why don't You intervene? What are You doing? How bad does it have to get before You'll step in?"
And all I get back is, "Trust Me."
I fall into the trap of comparing and wonder why He answers others but not me. Why can't He give me a tangible reason to hope? My situation is not dire. It is not life and death, yet His lack of relief shakes my faith and I need to hear a word like this:
“To those going through the valley and shadow of death, hear this word: Weeping will last through some dark, awful nights-—and in that darkness you will soon hear the Father whisper, “I am with you. I cannot tell you why right now, but one day it will all make sense. You will see it was all part of my plan. It was no accident. It was no failure on your part. Hold fast. Let me embrace you in your hour of pain.”
When All Means Fail (from his blog post on the day of his sudden death)
In the middle of the night, when anxiety keeps me awake and tears drip into my pillow, I pray and every once in a while, He meets me. I don't feel actual arms or hear an audible voice, yet I sense His embrace as an unexplained peace comes over me, like an enormous exhale releasing the tension from my body. I sense Him telling me, "I've got it. I hear you. Trust Me." I think of the song by Laura Story which says, "What if a thousand sleepless nights is what it takes to know You're near?" And I'm thankful, truly thankful, to experience a supernatural moment. I'm thankful for the unanswered prayer which keeps me coming to Him. I try to be thankful for the trial itself, but I admit it's a little harder to do. I remember He is a faithful God and determine to keep trusting Him, even when answers are not coming.
I hold on for that elusive "one day" when everything will make sense, because I know life WITH Him is far better than life without Him.
What weighs on your heart and mind, friend? What makes you doubt God's love for you? Can you hold fast? Can you believe He has your best interests at heart? Can you keep trusting even when it doesn't make sense?
When answers aren't coming, He tests our faith, to see if it is genuine, based on an understanding of who God is rather than our need for a Fairy Godmother.
In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith--of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire--may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
1 Peter 1:6-9
Praise God He loves us enough to make us authentic followers. Will you dare to trust Him?
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