7 Quick Takes (Volume 139)

1) Kevin sang in a men's quartet on Father's Day. As soon as he finished and sat down, Drama Queen motioned to me from across the room to check my phone.

Her text said, "Your husband is a stud. Hands down."

The poor guy can never tell if he's going to be "old school" or a stud.

2) Apparently Ladies Man has a new concern.

Ladies Man: What kind of car am I going to have to get so I can fit in it?

Kevin: What do you mean? It's not like you're ten feet tall.

Ladies Man: But what about my big feet? They can be a hazard.

Kevin: Oh brother.

Ladies Man: No really. I googled "big feet and cars" and saw a video where this guy got his foot stuck trying to use the brakes and got in an accident because of it.

This kid has so many issues.

3) Case in point:


Drama Queen put this picture on Facebook with a caption that said something about him being too lazy to pick up the bottle. Lord, have mercy. And are you diggin' the new faux hawk look he has now?

4) You can tell when a person has spent plenty of time around our family. My sister-in-law proved herself an adequate judge when she said this about my kids the other day:

"Other than having volume issues, your kids are so normal."

Amen sister! And the kids pretty much proved her right one night when Ladies Man was using his outside voice inside at dinner and Drama Queen made a funny observation.

Drama Queen (to Ladies Man): Every time you open your mouth, Dad's eyebrows do this.

She bunched her eyebrows into a scowl. And she was right! It was almost like Kevin had no control over it.

Ladies Man: Do I make you crazy, Dad?

Scowling eyebrows.

Drama Queen: Ha! See!

A weird squeak out of Ladies Man.

Scowling eyebrows.

Ladies Man: Do I annoy you, Dad?

Scowling eyebrows.

The kids could hardly take it, laughing their heads off, and soon Kevin grew weary of it too.

Kevin: Are you done eating yet? Isn't it about time you left the table?

5) Miss Innocent One: I should start a blog.

Ladies Man: That would be boring. What would you write about?

Miss Innocent One: My blog would be interesting. I'm the one who watches everything. You guys do all the talking while I take it all in.

Ladies Man: Our family is boring.

Miss Innocent One: Are you kidding me? Have you been listening to any conversations we have?

You go, girl. I think your blog would be a hoot.

6) The salad was gone before Drama Queen got any so I told her to go rip up some more lettuce for herself. When she finally came back to the dinner table she sat down with a sigh.

Kevin: What?

Drama Queen: That was such a hassle.

We said nothing, only smiled at each other and stifled our giggles.

Drama Queen: What?

Kevin: Welcome to your mother's world. This is one tiny piece of what you'll have to do the rest of your life.

Yeah, I was a little smug about it. These opportunities don't present themselves very often.

7) We're going through Drummer Boy withdrawal at our house. We haven't spent any time with him in three weeks! I saw him briefly yesterday, but it wasn't enough. Luckily we'll all be at a wedding this weekend and get to see him try his hand at being a groomsman. Should be fun. All of the groomsmen are forming a worship band to play prior to the wedding. And he said something about them wearing Chuck Taylor's too. Sounds like they'll be funking it up.

Oh no. Suddenly, as I imagine my kids' response to that last sentence, I feel like an old person. I'm sure "funking it up" is old school. How is it I've already lost my edge in being aware of modern vernacular. Oh brother, using the word vernacular surely pushes me into the nerd category. I guess it's the mother's job to give her kids something to make fun of. After all, if I wasn't so uncool, how would they know they were?

I've reached the point of no return. I better quit before I give them too much ammunition. Have a terrific weekend, friends, and find more Quick Takes at Conversion Diary.