Friday, July 22, 2011
7 Quick Takes (Volume 143)
**Warning: If you have a squeamish stomach when it comes to discussing anatomy, you may want to skip on to #2 this week. If you choose to proceed, remember you were warned.
1) Ladies Man: Mom, do you ever go strutting around the house in your birthday suit?
Me: If I'm in my birthday suit, it wouldn't be called strutting.
Ladies Man: Whatever. But do you do it?
Me: Only in my bedroom.
Ladies Man: I do sometimes, like if nobody's home and I'm getting out of the shower and forgot something in my room.
Me: Well, I'll do that too, if nobody's home, but only to the laundry room.
Kevin: Why are we talking about this?
Drama Queen: What's the matter Dad?
Ladies Man: Ew. I don't want to think about seeing Dad in his birthday suit.
Kevin: It wouldn't be that big of a deal. We have the same equipment.
Drama Queen: Did you just call it equipment?
Ladies Man: That's just wrong. You can't call it equipment.
Me: But your Dad knows how to use his equipment.
Drama Queen: Ew. You did not just say that.
I know. I'm sorry. I just couldn't help it. The moment to gross out my teenagers came and I had to take it. But wait, we're not done yet. Kevin got his jab in too.
Ladies Man: Why do you call it equipment? Why don't you just say penis?
He thought he'd get us with a little shock value of his own, but he totally underestimated the master.
Kevin: If you just say penis, you totally ignore the scrotum and testes.
Drama Queen and Ladies Man: EW!! STOP!!! EW!!
2) I told you Miss Innocent One was tan (see #5). Here's proof.
3) Some of you may notice (well, probably only Kathleen) that not much anti-hoarding has been happening this summer. There are several reasons for this.
#1 I am spending every spare moment writing a Christmas musical.
#2 In helping my in-laws move, I've had my fill of boxes and Goodwill piles.
#3 With kids coming and going all day, I'm easily distracted.
#4 I just don't feel like doing it any more.
#5 My house is now perfect (and if you believe that I'm sure I can find an amazing investment opportunity for you).
4) Oh my goodness, my husband is totally becoming me. The following statement actually came out of his own mouth, unprovoked and unscripted:
"The mind and a person's emotions and how they're wrapped up together--it's so interesting."
Now to decide if my influence is a good thing or bad. Hmmm.
5) I got a whale of a bargain on some new shoes ($7--can I get a whoop, whoop?). They should probably be called glorified flip-flops, but they look fancy enough (yes, Mark, I'm thinking of you) to wear with a dress. They have a little bling hanging from the straps and I noticed as I was walking in to church more chinking of the bling happened when I stepped with my left foot than with my right. Upon investigation, I noticed this:
My bling is uneven! Horrors! How did I not see it until I was out in public? I'm thinking I can cut some jewel thingies off one shoe and sew them to the other to even them out. How long do you suppose it will take me to get inspired enough to do that?
6) Drama Queen and Ladies Man leave this morning for a missions trip to Mississippi. They'll be gone a little over a week and Miss Innocent One has already informed me and her grandparents that she'll be at their house a lot next week.
Miss Innocent One: No offense, Mom, but it's just boring at our house with no kids.
Me: But there's no kids at Grandma and Grandpa's either.
Can't you just hear my pouty little voice?
Miss Innocent One: Yeah, but it's just not as boring there. No offense.
Mmm hmm. Right. No offense.
7) Drummer Boy came down for dinner last night and we tried out the new Godfather's in town (For those of you in my area, it's really nice. It's way bigger on the inside than it looks.). I don't know what it is about our four kids coming together, but when they do, they get totally out of control. There's teasing and yelling and wrestling. It's loud and almost exhausting to watch, but for some reason it makes me happy. They really like each other and it's fun to see.
I must, however, apologize to anyone in Godfather's last night who were out for a quiet dinner. You definitely did not get it, especially our friends sitting behind us. So sorry!
With that I'm calling it quits. It's sure to be a quieter week with Drama Queen and Ladies Man gone until next Saturday. What will I ever find to write about?
Until next time, get your Quick Takes fix at Conversion Diary.