Wanting to Make a Big Difference

I want to do big things for God.

I want my time here to matter.

To be honest, I get a little jealous of people God uses in big ways. I read blogs and envy the followers others have. I long for opportunities to talk about God. I read books and wish I had written them. I want to be used by Him.

But in my pursuit of big things, I overlook things that are big to God. I am intimately involved in the lives of some amazing people, getting a front row seat to God's work. It is my profound privilege to walk alongside them, nudging them along in obedience to God. I have opportunities to proclaim Him in my little community. I regularly interact with others spiritually.

And yet I want to do more. I pray, like Jabez, for God to expand my "territory." I pore over statistics and marketing advice and wonder what I'm doing wrong. Why can't I be satisfied with what I already do?

As I pray about this, God halts my flawed thinking.

Are three people not as important as 300? Are masses more consequential than individuals? Doesn't an impact on one life count? If I would have died for one person, shouldn't you be willing to expend yourself, give up anything for only ONE?

I am humbled. Who do I think I am? ANY work done for God is big. Huge. Numbers mean nothing.

My attitude is an indication I'm looking through human eyes, trying to get validation from my world, not my God. I'm focusing on me and what I can do, not on what God is doing.

Sigh.

I can't do anything for God. Only God working through me helps others. I want to make a big difference, but I forget HE defines difference and HE does the work.

So maybe my prayer should be, "Lord, empty me and fill it with You." Only then will any work matter.



Photo Credit: dr_relling