7 Quick Takes (Volume 174)

1) We've been having discussions lately on the Ten Commandments at our house. It started when I told Miss Innocent One how my dad used to warn me as a child when I was getting under his skin. "Number 5!" he'd say in reference to the 5th commandment, "Honor your father and mother that your days may be long."

Apparently Miss Innocent One thought she was getting slighted one morning.

Miss Innocent One: Number 11, number 11. Honor your children.

Me: There is no number 11. Give it up.

Kevin: Actually the Bible says "Spare the rod, spoil the child."

Me: And also, "Fathers, don't exasperate your children."

Whoop. The last word. And I got it! He got the last eye roll though, so I guess we're even.

2) Wives, doesn't it annoy the snot out of you when your husbands do not take care of their own little problems? Kevin had a scratch on his hand for at least a week that kept getting redder and redder. I told him repeatedly he needed to put some antibiotic ointment on it and he kept ignoring it, like it's some display of manhood to have an infected wound or something. Grrr. Finally, I got the Neosporin and band-aid out myself.

Me (while putting on the ointment and band-aid): I just want you to know this is so annoying to me. Why can't you take care of this yourself? This could have been gone had you taken care of it right away.

Kevin: I'm not wearing that band-aid all day. I can tell you that right now.

Me: I'm sure you won't. Just let it sit a while.

Kevin: Now the band-aid's gonna rip the hair off my hand.

Can't you just hear that whiny, little boy voice?

Me: Just keep it on there a few hours, sissy boy.

Ladies Man and Miss Innocent One both started laughing.

Me: What?

Miss Innocent One: Sissy boy?

Kevin: She's a little irritable today.

Me (slapping him on the rear): Oh, I am not.

And then to get an extra jab in, he had to add another commandment.

Kevin: Wives, be submissive to your husbands.

All you women out there know exactly where my mind went, right?

Me: It doesn't say anywhere you can't hit them!

3) I'm not sure if Ladies Man was tired of the shenanigans or truly worried about our attitudes.

Ladies Man: Can we just love God and live?

There's a motto for life. Love God and live. A little reminiscent of the 70's flower children, if you ask me. That makes me want to hit something again. Maybe I am slightly irritable.

4) Here's a good tip for any of you out there with nut allergies. Ladies Man is allergic to peanuts. Lately he's noticed his throat getting scratchy every time he used certain kinds of chapstick. He looked up the ingredients in the ones that were bothering him and discovered that shea butter and jojoba oil, common materials in chapstick, are linked to nut allergies. If you've got a kid with nut allergies, pay close attention to the chapstick they're using! Since he's switched to Blistex ointment, he's had no trouble.

5) I had a fun evening out with all my kids Monday. Ladies Man, Miss Innocent One and I met Drummer Boy and Drama Queen halfway for dinner (poor Kevin had other obligations). Drummer Boy gets hairier every time I see him, reminding me he really is a man and I really am the mother of a man. Weird. How did this happen?

Anyway, you know your family's growing when you spend $40 at Subway! I'm not kidding you! Ladies Man ended up eating TWO pizzas and all the other kids had footlong subs. Add drinks and chips and it adds up. They made me feel like an itty bitty little thing with my regular size sandwich and glass of water. And I never feel itty bitty. Bonus.

6) When Drama Queen knew we were meeting for dinner, she asked if I would pick up a few things for her at Walmart, telling me she would pay me back. When I told her that wasn't necessary she texted this.

Drama Queen: Ughhh...why do you have to be nice and complicate everything?

She was joking, of course. That girl never ceases to crack me up.

7) Kevin and Ladies Man are still hard at P90X. They hit the halfway point this week. To say I am pleasantly surprised is an understatement. I am shocked. And digging the new ripples on my man.

It's okay. I can say that. I have a license. And I'm not afraid to use it.

Hope you all have a terrific weekend. Read more Quick Takes at Conversion Diary.