I Don't Belong

Though I should have been lost in the crowd, I sat there feeling exposed, very aware I did not fit in. Did they sense I was an imposter, not one of them? Why is there an "in" crowd even in adulthood? And why do I care?!

Things I find valuable and important others dismiss. I cannot be defined by a job title, financial earnings or even pursuits the general public would find noteworthy. Though I know better, common questions--What are you doing these days?--leave me feeling small and insignificant. It doesn't matter what anyone thinks, I recite in my head, yet I walk away feeling like a loser, a nobody, less than.

The problem is not insensitivity or my lack of self-esteem.

I don't belong here.

I'm an alien, a stranger, a foreigner on earth. I don't belong here and some days I feel it acutely. Some days it seeps deep and I want out.

And yet I'm here.

Where I don't belong.

Sigh.

What do we do? How do we make the best of our time on earth? What do we do when we feel like we don't fit in?

We live by faith.

By faith we press on. By faith we welcome what is to come. By faith we do the next thing and trust God to use it for something good. By faith we get up and push through the fleeting, unreliable feelings. By faith we fix our eyes on the One who paves the way to home. By faith we KNOW the best is yet to come. It's only a matter of time.

I don't belong here. But by faith I keep at it and eventually I'll get home.

So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.

Hebrews 10:35-36

Walk on, my friend.

In faith.



Photo Credit: adam