Bonus

I've been spending lots of time on my computer again this summer and that old irrational fear started creeping back. A person really should have some concerns when she sits so long her backside gets numb. Don't you think?

Anyway, I purchased a stability ball earlier this year and decided to give it a whirl in my office.


It was actually a nice change, but after about an hour and a half on that puppy, my gluteus maximus and lower back felt a tug. Hey. Is it possible I can get my work done AND tone my worst feature at the same time?

Awesome! Here's to better butts!

Thank the Lord for simple solutions.


For more Thankful Thursday posts, visit Lynn and Dineen at Spiritually Unequal Marriage.

Balance

I told you I'd come back to it after I simmered down. I'm ready to tackle it. I think.

An interesting thing has happened since my rant several weeks ago about balance (scroll down to #2 on the list). Whenever people use the word now in conversation with me, they'll stop themselves, smile hesitantly and apologize.

Really. It's okay. I promise I won't slap anybody.

But it's probably time I explained myself a little better. I've actually spouted off about balance before on this blog. The word is not a new irritation. I found a post I wrote two years ago called A Balancing Act which explains my annoyance pretty well, giving scripture references to back it up. It's not a bad summation, but I've since nailed down my main problem with the word.

Let me be blunt. (First let me take a big breath. . .Okay, here we go.) I think we Christians use the word balance to give ourselves a respectable reason not to serve.

Yep, I said it. Balance gets in the way of ministry. When we play the balance card, we earn the admiration of others for our self-control AND get out of doing the work. Which is fine and dandy if we don't try to put some spiritual spin on it. Now I'm not saying you should never say no, but if you do, please don't use balance as a Biblical reason to do so. I can't find any scripture to back it up. If you know of a passage which supports this idea, I'd love to see it. Jesus never encourages it. He says, "Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me; and anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." (Matthew 10:37-39)

Doesn't sound very balanced, does He?

Do missionaries display balance, leaving everything they know in hopes of introducing strangers to Christ? Did the apostles and early Christians show balance when they died for their faith? How much balance did Billy Graham's family maintain with his speaking schedule? Was he wrong to travel across the globe evangelizing? Are you thinking of your pastor's balance when it's YOUR family member's funeral? Do you want your friend to exercise balance when YOU are the one having a crisis?

Every day brings impromptu opportunities to love others. If I am too concerned about my own balance, what will I miss? Who will suffer for my family's convenience? If someone shows up at my door or I get a phone call or I see someone visibly upset, how can I ignore it or push it off to a later date? Sometimes that means we eat Burger King for dinner or our family is rushing more for the next thing or my kids have to wait a little for my attention. But is that terrible?

Now before you start feeling sorry for my family and think me an insensitive mother, please understand I sift everything through how it will affect my family. I schedule time with others around the activities of my kids. And don't forget my word for the year is FOCUS. But sometimes I don't have a choice. Serving often means sacrifice, for me and sometimes for my family. Is it bad for them to wait on Mom? Is it bad to teach them how to meet the needs of others too? Am I terrible mother to juggle things at home to help others? Don't I want them to learn how to do that too? Should my availability be limited to them?

But if you suggest inconveniencing your kids, someone will invariably say, "We should be meeting the needs of others, but not at the expense of our families. We need to keep some balance."

Can you hear me screaming?!

It sounds nice, but it's not Biblical. We are called to love. Sometimes in loving others, our families sacrifice. They are not forgotten, are not given low priority, but their convenience cannot trump every need.

Balance.

It's not a terrible idea. There are times to say no. But let's not use balance as a "spiritual" excuse to abandon others for the sake of our own comfort level.

A Balancing Act

The clock hits 3:15 PM and the rat race begins. I hit the elementary first, pick up two kids there, venture over to the middle school to pick up another, then drop two off at home before I take the youngest to her piano lesson. I go home, greet my high schooler and help with some homework before taking myself and my younger son to a chiropractic appointment, letting husband bring home younger daughter. There's just enough time to cook dinner and snarf it down. Older son goes off to a show choir performance for some civic group, older daughter stays put to do homework while the rest of us go off to an elementary school program. We're supposed to stay at the school for a meeting, but since we have a bunch of college kids headed over to the house in around an hour, we decide to skip it in favor of getting the younger kids ready for bed and picking up the house. When we get home, one of our former college kids has stopped by unexpectedly and is sitting in the living room working on his lap top, hosted by older daughter. While we catch up with him, a friend stops by needing someone to talk to, so I head out to the front porch with her, while husband visits with college guy. In the meantime, younger daughter needs someone to listen to her read her reading homework. Since older son is back, he's sent in to get her started. Friend leaves and I relieve older son while husband sets out drinks and snacks for college study. I put younger daughter and younger son to bed, wander downstairs where older daughter is waiting for help with Algebra while college kids are streaming into the house. I sit down at the dining room table with older daughter while the video tape for study starts in the next room. We finish graphing equations and I join husband and college kids sprawled out in the living room where we discuss Truth and God and the world until around 12:30 AM.

People tell me I need balance.

But as I look over this day (and of course, all my days are not all like this), what should I cut out? We need to attend our kids' events. We need to help them with homework and take them to appointments. It is a privilege to provide a place for college kids to hang out and figure out life as adults. I am honored when people come to me for a listening ear and enjoy giving any help I can. People need a safe place to go. If not at my house, where? Every activity is important. Every act is done to further another human being. Is it right to turn people away so I can achieve "balance"? Yes, I get tired. Yes, I've had times I've felt completely spent, but is that wrong?

But here's my biggest problem: I don't think BALANCE is Biblical.

Jesus says if we are to be great in the kingdom of God, we are to be a servant and those who want to be first must be slaves of all. (Mark 10:42-45) SLAVES. Does that sound like balance? Jesus says, "If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you." (Matthew 5:41-42) When Jesus was grieving the death of John the Baptist and tried to get alone, people followed Him. "When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick." (Matthew 14:14) He stayed so long it was dinner time so He told the disciples to feed them yet too--a mere 5000 of them! The saints of the early church certainly didn't display balance. "Surely you remember, brothers, our toil and hardship; we worked night and day in order not to be a burden to anyone while we preached the gospel of God to you." (1 Thessalonians 2:9)

Someone will say, "but you have to take care of yourself to be any good to anyone else." Yeah, but I can use that as an excuse not to do things also.

I've been told:
You need to learn to say no.
You need a break.
You're going to burn yourself out.

I understand the concept, but have a hard time living it. Don't get me wrong. I base nearly everything I do on how it will affect my family, but there are times it seems God brings things, important things, into my life that cause my family to sacrifice time together. I've been told a few times I am too busy, I need to pare away some things in my life and honestly I've felt that way often, but how do you tell someone you know you can help, no? And if I don't do what I do, someone else will have to do it. Is MY time more important than theirs? Where is "the balance?"