What We Miss By Asking Why

Sometimes things don't turn out how I think they should, how I'd like them to. We sold our first house SEVEN YEARS after we moved out of it. My kids didn't get jobs I prayed for them to get. A video we submitted twenty years ago to America's Funniest Videos got initial approval and we signed papers, but it never aired. I've prayed for and expected miracles which never came. Hardest of all is the waiting. God always requires waiting.

I spend a lot of time asking God why. What's so terrible about revealing Your plan? Why would it be so awful for my child to get that job? Where are You, God? Are You hearing me at all?

Disappointment. Frustration. Aggravation.

But God never promised to meet my every whim. I pray for things that would make my life easier. He answers to make me holier.

“True peace comes from embracing what is, not from ceaseless striving to change everything around me to make my life more safe, secure, comfortable.”

Dan Meadows in The Mosaic Bible

Do I struggle when I fight what IS? Would I feel better if I just went with what God gives without asking why, without doubting His goodness? God doesn't make mistakes. He gives each of us gifts we may or may not like. Disappointment, frustration, aggravation come when we refuse to accept what He's given or how He's working in our lives.

It's like a little boy who asks for a glass of milk and his father gives him a cow.

"A cow?" the boy whines, "But that's too hard. I don't want to work at this. I just want milk."

"I could give you a glass of milk, but soon it would be gone and what would you learn?" his father replies, "With a cow you gain a new skill, get all the milk you'd ever want and have plenty to share. Isn't that better than one glass of milk?"

When I complain about my life, when I ask God to cure my problems quickly, am I asking for too little? Am I asking for a glass of milk when He wants to give me a cow? Am I missing true peace by not accepting what is? Do I get stuck and distracted in my "if only"s? Is wanting easy causing me more trouble than necessary on the road to something great?

What do you think?

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Chasing a Miracle Requires Trust

People occasionally tell me, "You should write a book" or "You should get that published." While I'm thankful for their vote of confidence and try to be gracious, inside I'm thinking, "If only it were that easy."

It takes a TON of work to become an author. A TON. A whole heap of ton! Finding the extra hours in my day to work on writing is challenging and exhausting. It takes time to learn the craft of writing and the less time I spend, the longer it will take. I'm easily frustrated. I'm no spring chicken any more. If this is going to happen, I need to be spending more time on it.

The odds of getting a book published are getting slimmer, even more so with the economy the way it is. Publishing companies are printing fewer titles every year, meaning they're less willing to take a chance on a no name like me. Breaking into the book market is beyond tough. It's next to impossible.

And then there's the fact that I was a MATH MAJOR in college. I have no formal writing training (I'm not sure the correspondence course I finished years ago would qualify.). I'm not the smartest, the most creative or eloquent, nothing close to a master wordsmith. There are countless others with greater abilities than I. I have no platform (a recognizable name, a speaking career, a hugely successful blog, basically a position in which to sell books) which is required to publish a nonfiction work these days. I'm just a middle-aged homemaker in Nebraska with nothing new to say, only the desire to say it.

It seems silly to spend a tremendous amount, a heap ton, of work on something with little chance of publication. If I am completely honest with myself, I have to admit from a business and experience standpoint, I've got no reason to think I'll ever see a book that bears my name.

Except. . .

I have a great big God.

He puts within me a nagging to write that never goes away, even when I try my best to shake it. Something in me (or rather Someone) tells me to keep doing it, keep working on it, whether the end result is a book contract or not. He brings people who spur me on with their comments. He says not to worry about where it's headed, but concentrate on the present work, making it the best it can be. He says, "Trust Me. Let me surprise you with how I can use your willingness to listen to My voice."

Could He accomplish the impossible? Could I witness a miracle by heeding Him?

"If all you ever attempt is that which you know you can do or have the resources for, how will you ever discover what He can do?"

My Jesus is . . . . Everything!
by Anne Graham Lotz

I don't want to miss out on His hand at work. I'm willing to wait to see it, no matter how long it takes. I look for His unconventional ways of answering prayers, knowing His miracle may not be a book contract. I'll keep answering His nagging and continue writing. One day He may take my breath away.

What about you? Is God waiting to show you a miracle? Is He primed to reveal Himself to you in a fresh way if only you'll step out of your comfort zone or give your all? Don't miss it, friends. Take a deep breath, trust Him with everything you have and take the risk.

What might you miss if you don't?


To join the In "Other" Words meme and read more impressions of this quote, visit Nina at Mama’s Little Treasures.

Bird's Eye View

My predicament was not a life or death situation. There was no emergency or danger. The problem was merely an annoyance. I was sitting at an intersection in my little Chevette, stuck on a patch of ice. I was surrounded by stores I could get to easily for help. It wasn’t even that cold outside. But as my wheels kept spinning all I could think was, “C’mon, God, I don’t have time for this.”

Soon I spotted an elderly man walking toward my car. His long, white beard and disheveled appearance made me a little nervous to roll down my window.

“Hey, how about if I give you a little push,” he asked, “it wouldn’t take much.”

I knew he was right, but I wasn’t certain he had it in him.

He walked to the rear of my car and disappeared behind the bumper. In an instant, nagging doubts flooded my mind. Can he really do this? Should he? Maybe I should push and let him drive, but how do I know he won’t drive off with my car? I don’t want to make him feel bad by refusing his help, but I don’t want to kill the guy either.

“Okay, give it a little gas,” he yelled.

Letting urgency win over better judgment, I cautiously stepped on the accelerator. In no time at all, I was creeping off the ice. Rounding the corner, I rolled down my window to holler back my thanks.

But he wasn’t there.

I scanned the pavement expecting to see his body in a heap and imagining how I could possibly explain myself to emergency crews, but noticed only my tire marks on the ice. I checked both ends of the crosswalk. Nothing. I looked in my rear view mirror. Absolutely no sign of the guy. He had completely vanished.

The back of my neck tingled. Could it be? Why would God send an angel for such a minor problem?

Suddenly the words of a hymn I learned in childhood made sense.

For His eyes are on the sparrow and I know He watches me.

Thank You, Lord.


Link to other Thankful Thursday participants at Grace Alone...

Living the Miracle

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It's still a miracle

after four pregnancies,
after seeing numbers up and down the scale,
after witnessing the good, the bad, and the very ugly,

it's still a miracle he looks my way with desire. I am still awed to find respite in his arms, to be who I am in his presence and feel completely at home.

It's still a miracle to be loved.

It's proof that an Almighty God heard the heart cries of a shy, fat girl, sustained her until she was ready and then blessed her for a lifetime.

How could I ever say there is no God?



Visit Chrysalis for more Marriage Monday posts.

Taking our breath away

She usually starts waving the moment she sees me and has a little skip in her step as she makes her way to the van, but this day she gave me a half-hearted grin and got in quickly. We pulled away from the school and she spilled.

"Mom, you know what happened in library today?"

"What?"

"Our library teacher gave us a Halloween sheet, so I asked her if I could just check out a book and read it instead of doing the sheet. I told her we didn't celebrate Halloween. I didn't say anything to anybody else, but Madison overheard me talking to the teacher and said, 'What do you mean you don't celebrate Halloween? Why don't you celebrate Halloween?' 'I just don't,' I told her. I didn't want to make a big deal out of it, but she just kept saying stuff like, 'You SHOULD celebrate it. Well, what do you do? What, do your parents think it's too scary for you? Are you scared of it, Keeli?' Then the rest of the class heard her and they all started asking questions too and I was the only one who didn't celebrate it. I was the only one."

And the tears came.

What could I say? My heart ached that a decision she had no part in caused her to experience this kind of grief. I racked my brain the whole way home trying to find a comforting or encouraging word. My hug on our way into the house only caused the tears to fall faster.

"I'm sorry, honey. That's a hard place to be in."

Suddenly a verse popped in my head that seemed like a hard concept for a nine-year-old to grasp. Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

I had nothing else for the poor girl, so we looked at the verse together and then found it in the Message where it reads, Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors.

"Do you understand what that is saying, honey? It's a good thing when stuff like this happens. It means God is working in you."

"So, it's supposed to make my faith better?"

"Yep. I know that doesn't make it easier, but maybe knowing God is working will help you."

"He'll make me stronger?"

"Mmm hmm. You're never alone, you know. God is always there and He's WAY bigger than Madison."

"Yeah, she's nothing compared to God. She doesn't even come up to His knees."

"She's like a pinky toe compared to Him."

She laughed and started flipping through our devotional book. "Could we look for a story about this and read it?" She searched the bottom corners of the pages for the thought of the day.

"Oh, honey, that'll take too long. Let's just do today's page."

We found the correct date and both gasped.

"Mom, look," she said wide-eyed, pointing to the bottom left corner where it said, "Make Pearls out of Difficulties".

I scanned the devotional, finding it was about how pearls start out as painful irritants. Then my eyes darted to the bottom right hand corner for the memory verse. Oh my. No way.

Dear brothers and sisters, whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy. For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.

"Whoa. . .Mom, that had to be God, right? Only God could do that."

"Yeah. That's weird." I could hardly believe my eyes. She beat me to the logical conclusion.

"Who says God's not real?"

"Wow. You see how big He is?!"

"Yeah." She leaned over and gave me a big hug, hanging on tight.

"That's so cool, isn't it?" I said, pulling her back to look her in the face.

Her eyes were misty and it took all she had not to cry again, this time out of sheer joy. It was almost too much for her tender little spirit to handle.

"Are you okay, honey?"

"Yeah." She picked up a pencil and wrote on the bottom of the page, "A miracle happened!"

"I'm leaving that there, Mom. That's cool."


You can find more Carnival entries at Windows to My Soul.

In the Stands and Cheering Loudly

I am so blessed.

Easter, several years back, I kept vigil outside the room of my friend's sick baby, praying he would survive the night. Now he's a happy, active eight-year-old who keeps up quite nicely with his older siblings. Wow, God, look what You did.

I watched my mother care for my father in his last days even though they'd been divorced thirteen years. Wow, God, look what You did.

As she walked down the aisle to marry the man who clearly adores her, my lip trembled and eyes filled recalling our many conversations about waiting on God's timing. Wow, God, look what You did.

I worried she would self-destruct and wondered if she would survive these years, all the while trying to convince her God has plans for her life. As the new year began, all the prayers uttered in her behalf were answered when she suddenly gained new strength to fight. Wow, God, look what You did.

We prayed over the phone at two o'clock in the morning because she was so scared her marriage wasn't going to make it. And now, three years later they are together and better than ever. There are still fears for his salvation, but God has given her glimpses of His work in her husband's life. She chooses to trust His plan and tries her best to be patient. Wow, God, look what You did (and look what You're doing).

I choked back sobs as her husband explained that the dead baby his wife delivered that day was a girl I knew they desperately wanted to add to their family of three boys. A few years later, God has given them TWO beautiful little girls for their sons to show off and all to enjoy. Wow, God, look what You did.

Lying in bed next to the most amazing man, I remember myself decades ago, a shy, fat girl fearing this would never be my life. Wow, God, look what You did.

After two YEARS of paperwork and delays and doubts and fears and much trepidation and prayer, she walked down the long hallway carrying the precious Chinese girl she now calls her daughter, smiling proudly, an image that will be forever etched in my mind. Wow, God, look what You did.

And now, this weekend, I remember the greatest miracle of all. The Son of God came down to earth and said, "We don't want to lose you," and gave His life to spare mine. Honestly, I have the hardest time comprehending what He did. I don't understand all the ramifications of it, but I get it enough to think Wow, God, look what You did.

God is still in the business of miracles, people. I pray we recognize His hand.

Happy Easter!


Photo Credit: markybon.