Sunday, July 16, 2006


I've been worrying about money AGAIN. It seems our monthly expenses keep going up. It's nothing new, but it gets so tiresome. I woke up feeling depressed about it today and asked, "Lord, we work so hard to do things for You and it seems we never get ahead. Why do we always have to worry about money?" (Whenever I ask Him this He always answers, "You don't. Let me." I'm getting better. Practice, practice, practice. UGH! Do you think it would all go away if I actually learned this lesson?)

I went to church and heard about farm families in our community getting hit by hail and a woman whose family has had MORE than their share of health problems having to go to Mayo Clinic and felt guilty for being a whiny baby again. These people's losses were so much greater. Thinking about the problems of those around me made me a little weepy. Why does this life have to be so hard? I don't get it, Lord.

I know I can't see the big picture and I'm not supposed to. If I could see it all I wouldn't have to trust God. I wouldn't grow in my faith. I get that, but I don't necessarily like it.

Our pastor preached on Deuteronomy 10:12-13 and asked us to examine whether we truly obey God in every area of our lives. Nothing blatantly sinful came to mind, but I still asked God, "What don't I obey?"

I got a resounding, "DO NOT FEAR."

Yowsa. It's all over the Bible, over and over and over. And yet I still fear. Why do I worry? I'm afraid.

I wish I had eternal eyes. I wish I would always remember "our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all." (2 Corinthians 4:17) God, in His mercy, is providing me opportunities to learn. I need to embrace the tough times. Through them, I will learn not to fear.

Forgive me, Lord, for wishing away growth. My "problems" are proof You are still working on me. Thank you for Your graciousness. Forgive my short-sightedness.


Kara Bird said...

I have big trouble with that one too Tami. It's so easy to dismiss fear as 'no big deal'. But when you get right down to it... it is. Eek. I do it all the time too. Something you said at the very end gave me great hope, my "problems" are evidence that you are still working on me. He hasn't given up on me! He's still working on me, even if it isn't very much fun to be on the operating table... at least he doesn't leave me bleeding by the side of the road to die. :) More great thoughts once again friend!

Anonymous said...

Ugh, guilty as charged. I'm a total worrier. If it's not one thing it's always another. I can't believe God's even using your blog to teach me this lesson because right now I'm struggling with this very topic. I'm afraid of the future. I'm afraid that I don't have what it takes to make it in this life. However, when I do that I'm beginning to realize that I'm discounting God. Really I'm saying I'm afraid that when it comes time to act, God won't work through me like I want him too. I'm saying he can't handle things and that's just silly. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Love the 2 Corinthians verse, one of my absolute favorites! Love you.