our brothers in Christ."
~ Heather Arnel Paulsen ~
Emotional Purity: An Affair of the Heart
So would you kick me if I admitted I wanted to yawn at this week's quote? It's not that I don't think modesty is important. I wholeheartedly agree it is an area we need to pay close attention to. I argued with my teenage daughter just yesterday about what she was wearing and made her change her shirt before we left. It's just that this seems like a no-brainer. Don't the women who identify themselves with this group already know this?!
I was more intrigued by the title of the book this quote came from--Emotional Purity: An Affair of the Heart. How do we keep ourselves emotionally pure? What does that mean for us?
I have male friends, most married, many to good friends of mine. I have shared some pretty personal stuff with a few of them and their wives. They are easy to joke around with and have helped me through hard situations. I have cried with and prayed with a couple of them. I like them, I really do. They are my friends and we connect.
But I wouldn't think of spending time with them apart from our spouses, even for a short period of time. We have to guard ourselves from becoming too emotionally connected. What if one of them experiences marital problems? I could be a sympathetic ear, perhaps even advise him on the mind of a woman, but is it healthy for me to spend time with him? Would it be easy to seek too much comfort in me? Is it right to put him in that situation?
We must not allow ourselves to get into dangerous territory in the name of friendship. If we are married, our relationships with the opposite sex should be diligently kept in check. Friends can turn into lovers. I don't think I'm paranoid. Why else would Internet affairs be rampant? It's not a physical thing, it's an emotional attachment.
Will you join me in being especially careful in your friendships with men? Can you show emotional modesty as well as physical modesty? When in doubt about what to do, don't do it, or at least send your husband instead.
Visit Loni for more impressions of this week's In "Other" Words.
11 comments:
Tami, I found this quote appalling. Truly mortifying. I fear I will not make many friends with my writing on it, but I can't help it. I tried to just not write about it, but the Holy Spirit was having none of it. I was "convicted" to be honest.
Your post was a breath of fresh air, until I got to the part about not spending time alone with your male friends. Here we must part company again. That's ok, though, because I know we can disagree and remain supporters of each other, bound by our common belief.
Despite my disagreement, your entry was, as always, eloquent.
Tami, I really feel we must be sisters parted at birth! My post (which will be up soon) is so much on this same line. Bless you for sharing. Keeping ourselves emotionally pure is such a challenge.
amen~
We have to take responsibility for our relationships!
I know it seems like a 'no brainer' but I'll tell you, look around, dress, relationships...I think you hit the nail on the head, physical and emotional modesty...
and if that daughter of mine is not 'emotionally' mature, then I have to gently guide her...and my spouse and myself need ever diligent!
you got me thinking!
loved it.
lori
I have drawn a blank on some of the quotes that have been featured in "In 'Other' Words" recently. I just don't play. How wonderful that you were able to find meaning in this quote. I bet you would rock at Toastmasters!
Before we were married my husband and I made a commitment to each other not to have any friends of the opposite sex unless that person was a mutual friend to both of us ~ wise words!
This is something i am having to learn as a new wife. How to be friends with men yet keep them at a distance that keeps us all safe. Thanks for the reminder Tami!!! Love you!
I agree 100 per cent. The modesty issue becomes easier as I get older. Its all headin' south so I want to cover it. I do believe we need to be careful around male friends to keep up our hedges and protect our marriages.
I believe that is why it is important for women to counsel women and men to counsel other men. There is to much "possibility" that Satan could use.
Great post
Nice take on the quote, Tami. I know way too much about this topic, probably more than most, because I didn't always follow the wisdom you have here. Enough said.
Get with the times ladies!
Very well said Tami. Yes, we do need to guard our emotions around male "friends." Real danger lurks when we don't.
I agree with you thoughts about modesty... I think those of us who are older in the faith are very well-acquainted with the concept. (Perhaps the quote was aimed at younger women.)
Blessings!
Great thoughts on the subject. Even the right motives can get people into trouble. It's best just to avoid those kind of attachments!
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