Quick Takes Again

(1) I'm already feeling a little Scroogish. Call me a grump, but the Christmas season is not my favorite time of year. I hate the shopping, the pressure of finding the perfect gifts, and cramming as many events as possible into a few weeks. I want Christmas to be about more than stuff and stress. Every year I ask God how we can celebrate better. He hasn't given me any definite answers yet, but I know there must be a better way.

(2) I had a Sophie's Choice kind of moment this week (okay, it wasn't nearly that dramatic, but tugged at my mommy's heart nonetheless). We had planned to travel to see our older son before he left for his big audition in Wyoming, but our younger son was sick, practically horking up a lung, I tell you. Do you risk the health of the younger one to make the older one feel loved or do you coddle the sick one, stay home and tell the older one sorry?

We told the older one sorry, but it was a tough call to make. He was fine with it, but it sure made me sad. Sniff. It was the first holiday our family was not intact. I know it's part of life and people do this every day, but I didn't like it too much. It was one more thing reminding me I'm getting older.

(3) Do you look forward to family gatherings? I do. I am fortunate to have good family relationships, but yesterday I was reminded of how I need to work harder on a few of them. I've dropped the ball and have tried to acquit myself by saying the other parties have too, but there's really no excuse. I can't blame anyone for my own lack of connection.

It seems harder to open myself up to my family than to other people. I think it's because they know all about me. They know where I've come from. They know my weaknesses. They know if I'm full of it or not. I've been working harder in the last few years to be myself with my family, even if I don't think they may understand. After all, how can they know me if I don't share my real thoughts or feelings?

Family members can be guilty of assuming too much about each other too. We tend to peg each other and make the labels stick--she's the dramatic one, he's so cautious, etc. There's not the same discovery process we go through as in other relationships. Because we've spent years living together, we assume we already know each other. We don't always give each other room to grow and change. Or maybe we don't work as hard to "get" each other because we know the relationships will always be there no matter how hard or little we work at it.

(4) This next week will be especially busy at our house as we finish up preparations for our Christmas production at church. Sometimes I like the busyness. I am WAY more efficient when I have to be. After the busyness is over, I'll look around my house and think, NOW WHAT? But the bad thing about busyness is I tend to run in survival mode, which I don't really like. There's no cushion for a timely phone call or refreshing lunch date and I feel like I disappoint everyone.

(5) I always get nervous for the debut of the production. Will people respond well? Will they be critical? Last year our program included an unequally yoked couple and a gunshot. Scandalous! It was well received for the most part, but not everyone could see the point.

This is what scares me about writing in general. No matter what I write, someone will not like it. Someone will bristle or make a judgment call on me. Someone won't understand my heart. If I didn't feel such a nudge from God to keep putting myself out there, I wouldn't do it. Too risky.

I figure the best thing to do is keep seeking God, keeping asking for wisdom and keep doing it. So far God hasn't given me an out. My fervent prayer is for everything I do to point others to God. It's my responsibility to do what God says, His to make it minister.

(6) Does anybody else find it strange that Mr. Change is picking so many old guard Democrats for his cabinet?

But what do I know about it? I'm some middle-aged housewife in Nebraska.

(7) It's cloudy and dreary right now in my neck of the woods. I kind of like this sort of weather. There's something soothing to me about clouds and darkness, like a blanket to hide under. Sometimes I think I would do well in England or Seattle where the fog and rain hang on.


I'm hoping you all aren't finding this Quick Takes thing on Friday too self-absorbed. It is fun for me to look over the last week and think about what's been on my mind. Be sure to visit Jennifer F. at Conversion Diary to see what's on the minds of others.

Happy Thanksgiving

I've been trying to come up with something profound and poignant to post for Thanksgiving, but alas, two days have gone by and I've got nothing.

Instead, let me say I am especially thankful this year for the amazing people I have been surrounded with. I am blessed with great relationships, priceless treasures I do not take for granted.

Happy Thanksgiving, my friends and family. I am better because of you.

Quick Takes--Take Two

It's time again for Quick Takes Friday. Yee haw! Be sure to visit Jennifer F. at Conversion Diary to read the quick takes of others. Here goes nothin'....

(1) This meme was great to link to. I had more visitors last Friday than ever before. Thanks, Jennifer!

(2) I recently stumbled across a website that calls itself the church for those disenchanted with organized religion. I'm not sure what to think of that, I mean, isn't it basically the same thing, just online? They are "organized", coming to the same place, taught by the same teacher. But the differences are disturbing. An online community can be encouraging (I've experienced it myself in the blogosphere), but the lack of accountability and service to one another concerns me. Can we learn to be Christlike when the element of service is removed? Can we learn unity without working through disagreements and being forced to get along? Can we learn to love others without actually loving them in person? How can an online community allow for that?

I understand the appeal. It would be convenient. It could be motivating. Mostly it would be safe. There would be no one to open up to and share real struggles with. But does He want us keeping the lessons we learn to ourselves? Don't we gain as much from rubbing shoulders with each other, experiencing life with each other, as we do from listening to (or reading) an inspirational message? If we don't allow ourselves some vulnerability with actual, real life people, we deprive ourselves (and others!) of the gift of Christian fellowship and the valuable lessons of community.

(3) I had lunch yesterday with someone who took a trip to South Africa a few weeks before the election. She told me when people discovered she and her husband were Americans they would ask them who would be our next president, "the black man or the old man?" These people sincerely felt the outcome of the election was important to their welfare. She was struck by the power and responsibility of our nation to people around the world.

(4) For the first time ever, all of our kids will NOT be joining us for Thanksgiving. Our oldest will spend the day driving to another state to audition for a drum and bugle corp over the weekend. At first I was horrified, but after the initial shock wore off, I realized I'm proud of him. It takes guts to do what he's doing and pursue his dream. I'm impressed with his passion and fortitude at only 18 years of age. Go get 'em, Keygan.

(5) I have felt acutely this week the extravagance of God. I have been blessed beyond measure. Friends have been unbelievably supportive. I have physically felt prayers. I can see how all things are working together for my good and am so excited I could hardly sit still telling someone about it. It makes me want to shake people and say, "Hey, He can do this for you too. Follow His lead. Wait for His timing. Trust Him even when you don't understand and it doesn't make sense." It brings me to tears, knowing how small and unremarkable I am, yet receiving His lavish love. Who am I, Lord?

(6) I read a blog post this week of a woman telling the story of her four-year-old daughter coming to the understanding herself of her need for a Savior. Nothing seemed terribly out of the ordinary, until I got to the comments--over 300 of them! Many of them were posted by atheists, followers of Richard Dawkins, charging the woman with child abuse for teaching her daughter she was a sinner. Vile, hurtful, hateful accusations were flung at her and one said he had notified child protective services. I was shocked at the vehement response. From reading a few other posts I understood the woman held beliefs I did not necessarily espouse, or rather, expressed them in a different way than I would, but wow, what an onslaught of venom.

It seems Richard Dawkins has spawned a new generation of atheists, those who are working to "evangelize" others to their way of thinking. It sure puts an interesting spin on evangelism and makes me wonder if this is how Christians have made others feel for generations.

(7) How did I go a whole week without posting? Why do creativity and thinking power ebb and flow? What must a person do to keep firing on all pistons? I heard yesterday on the news ginkgo is NOT the answer. I'm sure more sleep would help. If only I could figure out how to make that happen...Anyway, I got one post in this week. Maybe next week I'll be "on".

Have a great weekend, friends!

Killing Two Birds With One Stone

I was tagged over the weekend by maudie-mae for the Six Random Things meme. I've done two different versions of this (see 7 Things About Me and Of Meds and Memes if you're interested in my other quirks), but decided it would be fun to play along as there's enough fruity things about me to provide some fresh, random weirdness. I also wanted to join Jennifer F. at Conversion Diary for her new meme, 7 Quick Takes Friday. So I'm lumping the two together for one whopping big dealie bobber. Are you getting tingly yet? (Don't worry. The feeling will depart quickly as you start reading!)

(1) As a child I was terribly jealous of my blue-eyed, blonde sister. I got my jabs in by telling her she was adopted. I gave the poor girl a terrible complex, causing her to doubt her lineage every so often, even as an adult. (Yep, I was a big meanie.)

(2) I wish I had a buff, athletic body. I work my tail off at the local YMCA, but have never achieved that chiseled, sculpted look. I suppose I started out bad having cellulite by the time I was ten. Sigh. I guess I can take comfort in the fact that I rarely get sick, so the exercise is paying off somehow. My dad used to say I was made from "sturdy stock". As a teenager I didn't appreciate that much, but as I get older it doesn't sound so bad.

(3) My maiden name is Kubik, pronounced like cubic. I used to hate the looks I'd get in math class whenever we were studying volume, but later wished I could go back to those days when the girls in gym class found a "naughty" word to rhyme with my surname. My first name came from a soap opera character. (Good thing the writers of that show didn't meet the girls in gym class--it would have made for a doozy of a soap opera name.)

(4) I've never been a great sleeper. I was a colicky baby. My mom talks of driving me around in the car a lot the first few months of my life. As soon as the car started moving, I'd be out. Forty-four years later, riding in a car still makes me sleepy (which can be tricky when you're driving). If the ride is longer than 30 minutes and my husband's behind the wheel, I'm a goner.

(5) Don't you just love people? I can sit for hours listening to their stories, trying to figure out what makes them tick. It is a lifelong habit of mine to focus in on what they're saying and determine from their body language what they're NOT saying. As a child I entertained myself by sitting in a corner quietly, observing every scene happening before my eyes. It is not a judgmental thing at all. In fact, it is frustrating to me that I can empathize with just about everyone. How do you decide who is right or wrong when you can understand the motivations of every side? I would make a terrible judge.

(6) I love, crave, need, even get up early for quiet and feel a little off if I don't get enough of it. I'm naturally a night owl, but having four kids has made the early morning hours a necessity. Now I find 5:AM just as refreshing as 12:AM (to my dear college roommate--if you're reading this, don't spew your coffee on your computer and ruin it!) My body's clock has adjusted fine (until I get in a car, that is).

(7) I take great delight that my husband's taste in women has changed over the years. In high school, he was attracted to blondes. He's always had a special fondness for his sister, a fair-haired, blue-eyed beauty. When we were first dating, his favorite actresses were Kathleen Turner and Michelle Pfeiffer. Now, Catherine Zeta Jones is at the top of his list. For those of you who don't know me IRL, take a look at my profile pic. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? I've swayed him to the "dark" side. I love it.

And there you have it, more than you ever cared to know about yours truly. Feel free to play along on your own blogs if you're so inclined. Go ahead. Take a whack at it. It could be fun.

Have a great weekend, my friends.

Roses Among Thorns

“To possess true beauty, we must be willing to suffer . . . if Christ Himself was perfected through His sufferings, why would I believe that God would not do the same with me? Women who are stunningly beautiful are women who have had their hearts enlarged by suffering.”

Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman’s Soul” by John and Stasi Eldredge

The women gathered, as they do every week, to study the Bible together and bond with like-minded friends. The lesson was on bowing your pain to God, giving yourself up to His plan no matter how it might hurt personally.

One by one, women shared hurtful experiences of their pasts. Tears welled, words choked, hearts tugged.

And yet all who participated said they could see how it made them better. Through cracking voices and sniffling noses they expressed sincere thanks for the end result.

Obviously God's work left its mark, making them brave enough to mention their trials, instilling in them a desire to show how He redeemed the suffering and used it for their growth. I was empathetic, but I did not feel sorry for them. They were already reaping the rewards of a job well done pressing on in the midst of difficult circumstances.

I was blessed to be sitting among them, inspired by their softness and ability to feel the pain, yet move beyond it. Their tenderness drew me in. The glimmer of gold shining through their tears made me catch my breath. I smiled to see a glimpse of Christ's love and perseverance. I soaked in the beauty of God at work in a group of women willing to go through anything to be used by Him.

They remind me no pain is wasted. Nothing is a mistake. God uses it all to transform us to His image. Suffering buffs the rough edges, polishing us, making us more beautiful than ever.

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

Hebrews 12:11

Join Nina at Mama's Little Treasures to read more impressions of this quote.

Choosing Hope

I hate change.

Always have.

Every fall as a kid, I'd have dreams the night before school started, worrying about what the new year held.

I hate it when shoes wear out or you have to replace an appliance or your vehicle bites the dust, because what if you don't like the new things as much as the old?

Choosing a new paint color can be exhausting. How do you know it will give the room the right vibe?

I've never lived farther than an hour away from where I grew up.

Deciding on a new activity is a headache. How will it affect my family, my time, my stress level?

I even get a little jittery moving the furniture around.

So it's no surprise to me this election process has been unsettling for many. No matter who was elected, black or white, man or woman, Republican or Democrat, a new leader would be moving into the White House. What will it mean for us?

Anxiety and apprehension about change is nothing new. Change caused the Israelites t0 wander in the wilderness, be taken into captivity and reject the Messiah. But let's not forget it also paved the way for God to display His power (remember the Red Sea, the walls tumbling down, the fiery furnace?), rescued them from slavery, brought them to the Promised Land and provided a way of salvation for ALL men.

Generations of God's people have worried about the future for their children and maintaining their livelihoods just as we do. They faced uncertainty and fear. How did they cope?

They looked to the only thing that never changes, the Maker of heaven and earth, Almighty God.

I the Lord do not change. So you, O descendants of Jacob, are not destroyed.

Malachi 3:6

We are not destroyed either, no where close. We are safe in His control. As much as it goes against my nature, I choose to be thankful for change. Without it I would never have experienced marriage, motherhood or some really great relationships. I would never learn to trust or hope or dream.

As change begins in our country, I'll keep my eyes on God, pray for those in power and look expectantly for His hand. Worrying over the direction our country is headed accomplishes nothing. Instead, I will embrace this change as a time for new possibilities and opportunities to see God in action.

For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.

Psalm 100:5

Visit other Thankful Thursday participants at Grace Alone...

The Grace of Christian Marriage

She's short with the kids and he doesn't wag a finger at her, doesn't even shoot a dirty look her way, but wanders over to give her a hug, saying nothing at all.

He still hasn't handled the problem she wanted fixed yesterday, but as he comes home looking exhausted, she holds her tongue.

He never asks, "Do I have any clean socks?"

He's late, again, and she swallows the snark.

She tells him, "You can do this. I believe in you. Don't sell yourself short."

He doesn't understand her pain, but brings her flowers any way.

She resists the urge to man bash with her friends.

He says, "Thank you. I appreciate you."

He's no Prince Charming and she's far from Miss America, yet they see a beautiful swan in each other because of the Holy Spirit's touch.

Life can be tough, and at times they're not that crazy about each other, but out of love for God they do what is right, following His command, and they get through another day, over a different hump and on to better times.

As they deepen their relationship individually with Jesus, they're naturally drawn to one another, causing their love and desire to grow.

Because they understand each other's commitment to Christ, the fear of what could happen to their relationship is diminished. He loves her. She trusts him. Their feelings are secure.

They are one before God and man.

Blessed is the man who listens to me, watching daily at my doors, waiting at my doorway. For whoever find me finds life and receives favor from the Lord.

Proverbs 8:34-35

Visit Robyn at Overflowing Grace for more Marriage Monday posts.