Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Trusting Him with our Pain

We’re not necessarily
that God will do the best for us;
we are wondering how
the best will turn out to be.

C.S. Lewis

Before I was even a Christian, I understood God required a lot of His people. I wasn't one of those impulsive converts who goes forward at a revival meeting. I was a slow percolator, weighing whether I had it in me to do this Jesus thing. I figured if I got serious about God, it might involve me being poor or living in Africa or becoming a nun or having to be perfect, none of which I found appealing in the least.

Eventually I decided I had to take the risk. I would never be all I could be without the touch of the Creator. I knew I couldn't figure life out on my own. I needed help. I needed to rely on someone better than me. I needed a Savior.

Because I took my time on the decision, once it was made I was whole hog, completely devoted. I prayed, fully believing every prayer would come to pass, and in the early days many did. I suppose God wanted to establish a track record for the tough times ahead. He wanted me to know He could be relied on, trusted. But once He'd proven Himself faithful, He started answering prayers differently. I got some "wait"s and a few painful "no"s.

But I trusted God. I knew He had my best interests at heart. So I kept praying, believing God could do the impossible. He did, answering my most fervent prayer, my desire for a man who saw and loved all of me, not just my exterior. God's answer, my dear husband, towered over my expectations. I was blessed, humbled and utterly in awe of His provision (still am, btw, my husband will always be my big miracle).

Then came the big whammy. God game me a resounding NO to a prayer I had prayed desperately for DECADES. It shook me to the core and rattled my faith like never before. Why had I prayed so long only for this? How could this NO possibly honor God? Did my years of faithful prayers matter at all?

I started on a new, scary faith walk. I didn't doubt God COULD help me. I doubted that He WOULD. But something important happened in this painful time. I learned God is God. He is not there for my entreaties, to make my life cushy and problem free. He is there for my best and that may hurt, probably WILL hurt. But if I can trust Him to make the best of me, can't I trust Him to help me through the pain too?

Isn't this what faith is, trusting though we don't know the outcome, blindly saying, "Okay, God, whatever. Get me through it"? Though God does not have to prove Himself, He has. He knows best. On the other side of my most painful experiences, I can see how He has molded me into something better. Was it fun? Not on your life. Would I want to do it again? No way. Did it make me better? You know it.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;

Proverbs 3:5

Can God be trusted, even with our pain? Let all God's people say, "AMEN!"

Visit Jennifer and Scraps and Snippets for more takes on this quote.


Jennifer said...

AMEN! "Though God does not have to prove Himself, He has." So true. I can so relate to your paragraph about learning that God is God. What a great reminder to trust Him even when it hurts. Thank you for sharing!

Denise said...

Amen, amen.

MiPa said...

Absolutely! God can be trusted. Thank you for a definitive reminder of that.

Debbie said...

Interesting post. I love reading other's takes on our weekly quote. I'm so glad that the Lord doesn't show us the path we will go down or else I might have bailed. Not really but He asks us to trust Him even when we don't understand. And then I remember that He is good and trustworthy.

Thanks for sharing your post. I think this is my first time here. Good to meet you.

Denise Hughes said...

"I suppose God wanted to establish a track record for the tough times ahead." Wow. This was my experience too. I've come to think of my "early years" as a believer as a "summer" kind of faith season. Then, later on, a "winter" kind of faith season sets in. God seems to answer less prayers. He's quieter. I think it is during these seasons when our faith grows the most. Thank you for joining us this week. It is nice to meet you.
Denise Hughes :)