We’re not necessarily
that God will do the best for us;
we are wondering how
the best will turn out to be.
Before I was even a Christian, I understood God required a lot of His people. I wasn't one of those impulsive converts who goes forward at a revival meeting. I was a slow percolator, weighing whether I had it in me to do this Jesus thing. I figured if I got serious about God, it might involve me being poor or living in Africa or becoming a nun or having to be perfect, none of which I found appealing in the least.
Eventually I decided I had to take the risk. I would never be all I could be without the touch of the Creator. I knew I couldn't figure life out on my own. I needed help. I needed to rely on someone better than me. I needed a Savior.
Because I took my time on the decision, once it was made I was whole hog, completely devoted. I prayed, fully believing every prayer would come to pass, and in the early days many did. I suppose God wanted to establish a track record for the tough times ahead. He wanted me to know He could be relied on, trusted. But once He'd proven Himself faithful, He started answering prayers differently. I got some "wait"s and a few painful "no"s.
But I trusted God. I knew He had my best interests at heart. So I kept praying, believing God could do the impossible. He did, answering my most fervent prayer, my desire for a man who saw and loved all of me, not just my exterior. God's answer, my dear husband, towered over my expectations. I was blessed, humbled and utterly in awe of His provision (still am, btw, my husband will always be my big miracle).
Then came the big whammy. God game me a resounding NO to a prayer I had prayed desperately for DECADES. It shook me to the core and rattled my faith like never before. Why had I prayed so long only for this? How could this NO possibly honor God? Did my years of faithful prayers matter at all?
I started on a new, scary faith walk. I didn't doubt God COULD help me. I doubted that He WOULD. But something important happened in this painful time. I learned God is God. He is not there for my entreaties, to make my life cushy and problem free. He is there for my best and that may hurt, probably WILL hurt. But if I can trust Him to make the best of me, can't I trust Him to help me through the pain too?
Isn't this what faith is, trusting though we don't know the outcome, blindly saying, "Okay, God, whatever. Get me through it"? Though God does not have to prove Himself, He has. He knows best. On the other side of my most painful experiences, I can see how He has molded me into something better. Was it fun? Not on your life. Would I want to do it again? No way. Did it make me better? You know it.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
Can God be trusted, even with our pain? Let all God's people say, "AMEN!"
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