Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Alone in the Middle of it All

Rather than turn from loneliness, what if we turned toward it? Could it be that loneliness is not a curse but a gift? A gift from God?

Max Lucado,
Traveling Light: The Promise of Psalm 23

I am the mother of four children, three teenagers and a tweener who is a social butterfly. My mom stayed with them this weekend and said our house is like grand-central station with kids coming and going (some mine, some not). At my house, there's always a lot of activity, a lot of noise, a lot of people. How could I possibly get lonely?

Yet there are days I feel lost in the shuffle I call my life, days when the things I want to concentrate on take a back seat to the physical, social and transportational needs of my family. There are days I feel pulled to the limit and then asked for more, days when my only time alone is at 5:AM, days when one more "Mom, can I. . .?" will send me over the edge (or at least into another room alone to collect myself.).

I feel forgotten, used, unseen. And alone.

I've spent many moments feeling stretched too far, crying in my bathroom, asking God what the point of it all is, asking Him, "What am I supposed to do with this?" Often I've prayed for Him to have a friend stop by, or give me a call, or send an e-mail to encourage my drooping spirit, but rarely does it happen. He lets me have my little weep fest, then says to get up and take another crack at it. So I take a deep breath and go back in.

I have often wondered why he doesn't send a little boost my way. Would it be so terrible to have someone think of me? (Ouch, I'm embarrassed to even type that. See how much work God needs to do?) But I've figured it out. A person having a pity party doesn't learn to deal with life by having more attention drawn to herself. In sending no one, God's blessing me by teaching me perseverance, toughening me up, making me stronger.

He's showing me He is enough.

Truly that is a gift. If I can learn to live by that motto, nothing can keep me down. Friends will not always be there. My own husband cannot always be there, but God. . .God will ALWAYS be there.

Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.

Psalm 27:14

For more ideas on this quote, visit our host, Patricia, at Typing One-Handed.


Linda said...

My home is quiet and I'm not lost in the shuffle, but these words resonate.

I have felt the same, prayed the same words, cried those tears and am learning He is enough.

Thanks for sharing you heart in encouragement.

MiPa said...

"But a person having a pity party..." ouch. My friend you have touched on truth here and it hurts, in a good way.

"By sending no one..." Amen! I need to see the lessons I learn when he does not send that boost I so desire.

Thank you for sharing your heart.

Jaime Kubik said...

I'm lovin' these "quoted" blogs. Thank you for being so transparent for us all. It's always nice to know we're not the only ones out there who feel fragile and lost from time to time. Thank God, he's there no matter where we are feeling it!

Esthermay said...

Your post speaks to and about most of us! I've had plenty of pity parties myself! :-)
Learning to cultivate our loneliness into joyful communion time with GOD takes a kick in the seat sometimes -- by "sending no one" I've learned the hard way too.
Wise words here! Thank you.

Anonymous said...

Ohhh, can I relate! I've done the snapping at my children too - when I may be in a roomful but want to be alone!

THANK YOU so much for sharing & linking! :)

Patricia said...

As moms I think we can all relate to this. Now as a single mom I can especially relate. I think it is humorous when someone asks me what I do with all my time. I never know if I should laugh or hit them! Thanks for stopping by my blog today.

Susan said...

Tami, if we are all honest, we feel the same way, many times.

And I feel God continues to tell me the same thing, "am I enough?"

There is so much to learn as we lean on Jesus.

Thanks for another great post.

I've missed stopping by♥