1) I do my fiction reading while exercising at our local YMCA. Most of the time people don't pay much attention, unless they are readers themselves like me, but this week the book I'm reading has caused people to stop me. On Wednesday alone, THREE different people asked me about it, one of which rarely talks to me there. And I swear ever since I've started this book, another lady has seemed friendlier to me, smiling and saying hello when she didn't before.
It makes me wonder about the impressions we give others without even trying. Even our reading choices say something, don't they? I'm not sure what to make of it because I'm not particularly crazy about this book. What am I saying to others by reading it? I'm going through it purely out of curiosity and am not all that impressed. Should I read something in public if I wouldn't endorse it?
Every action, even something as tame as reading, makes a statement to someone. It makes my head hurt. Too much pressure.
(Before you flood the comments asking, "What are you reading?" I'll tell you--The Shack.)
2) My older daughter turned sixteen yesterday. She is now the proud holder of a Nebraska driver's license, although she keeps saying it is freaky to be driving by herself. The first day she kept thinking her dad or I must be in the back seat and had to continually remind herself it was no longer necessary.
It makes me a little sad. Driving is a huge step towards independence. Now she'll be more grown-up than ever. Yet, I am happy for her too. You should've seen her on her birthday, beaming, cracking jokes, thoroughly enjoying where she is in life. I feel better when I tell myself I'm not losing a daughter, I'm gaining a chauffeur.
3) My daughter's driving escapades remind me of my first driver's test. My birthday is in January and not only was it lightly snowing, but white stuff covered the ground as well. I did the prerequisite checks--seat properly adjusted, rear-view mirror correctly placed, seat belt fully fastened. I backed out of the parking stall carefully. . .and proceeded to drive right over the snow-covered curb. Yep, big fat fail, although the examiner seemed more concerned that I hadn't brushed the fresh fallen snow off the back window and stopped in a cross walk I couldn't see because of the snow. I should of known it wouldn't take long for me to get dubbed "Crash Kubik" (Kubik being my maiden name).
4) Sometimes having four kids can make life crazy. Saturday morning I'm headed with my youngest to a drum line competition for my older daughter about an hour away. My husband is headed to a show choir competition with our younger son in Omaha and then will meet our older son in Lincoln in the afternoon to accompany him in a scholarship audition. Then the whole bunch of us is back home for a drum line competition at our high school that evening. I'm not sure if it's better to jam it all in one day or spread it out. At least this way the madness only lasts one day.
5) My husband chuckled over a commercial for some osteoporosis medication, thinking the senior cowboy girl dance troupe looked a little fruity.
"Don't laugh," I said, "that'll be me in twenty years."
"Sixty-five. You'd be retired," he said.
And the thought hit me.
Retired from what?!
6) Why is it that middle school girls want to become "mature" while their male counterparts only get more squirrely and hyperactive? Is this some sort of divine guard for blossoming girls, making the thought of dating and interacting with boys just plain gross?
7) My husband and I have the rough draft done of our summer musical production, Once Upon a Rhyme. We've taken nursery rhymes and fairy tales and put a spiritual spin on them. Little Miss Muffet is tempted by the spider, much like Eve and the serpent. The Ugly Duckling learns God makes everything beautiful in its time. We sing, "the foolish pig built his house made of straw" to the tune of "The wise man built his house upon the rock." You get the picture.
Our summer production is light-hearted and silly on purpose. We want it to be a fun family show providing lots of laughter to counteract our heavy, hard-hitting Christmas production (HA! I'm kidding. . .well, maybe just a little bit). Our intent is to illuminate God's Word in a fresh way and show people God loves to have a good time. We pray people do not find our goofiness irreverent. We find laughter opens up the soul for God to communicate to us in the same way music does. Once people are relaxed they are more open to the Truth.
This year's show has the potential for a powerful ending with a rendition of Mary had a little lamb, you know, THE Lamb, that saved the world. It's not all fun and games. We take our responsibility seriously and pray fervently God uses our measly human effort to glorify Himself.
Take a little break this weekend and read more Quick Takes posts at Conversion Diary. Our lovely host, Jen, is scheduled to have a baby on Monday and is actually considering "tweeting" through labor. That's commitment, people! Wow. If that's what it takes to be a big time blogger, I'm sunk. Have a great weekend, friends.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Anxiety ate at me. . .for days. There was no reason for it, yet my body reacted. At night as I lay in bed, my heart beat faster, my stomach gurgled, my mind raced. In the day I could be distracted for small periods of time, but a simple thought would send the panic rippling again, churning my gut.
What do you do when your feelings are irrational, yet existent nonetheless?
I prayed. I read my Bible. I journaled. I talked to my husband. Nothing helped. I went into enduring mode.
All at once it occurred to me this anxiety could not be from God. It was not warning for some impending disaster, for there was nothing to do. The uneasiness could only be coming from one place.
Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of suffering. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong., firm and steadfast.
1 Peter 5:8-10
Another lesson in resisting (YUCK!), but how do you stop yourself from feeling? I came up with a battle plan.
I started with my mind.
You will keep in perfect peace, him whose mind is steadfast because he trusts in you.
I need a steadfast mind that dwells on God instead of the anxiety. I have to quit thinking about things which bring it on. It's SO MUCH EASIER said than done, requiring constant effort. It takes a lot of practice to force your thoughts elsewhere, but it is absolutely necessary.
I focused on Truth.
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
I presented my requests to God. I prayed for peace.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Resisting is no easy task. It takes EFFORT, lots of it, but the payoff is worth it. Without some resistance, Satan will continue picking. If I don't push back, I make myself an easy target. I can wallow in misery or I can fight. If I don't resist, Satan will snuff me out and rob me of the joy God intended.
It is war, but I don't fight alone.
As the verse says, "the God of grace. . .after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast."
Does the suffering last longer if we succumb to it, letting ourselves worry and stew? Does peace come more quickly if we resist?
I'm not sure, but in choosing peace and joy, I will resist. Satan will flee. And God will restore me.
Friday, February 20, 2009
1) My clothes dryer has not been working too hot lately, taking forever to dry a load of jeans or towels. Just as I was about to break it to my husband we may need a new one (This train of thought was spawned by the Electrolux commercial with Kelly Ripa where she brags she can wash AND dry a load of laundry in 36 minutes! My green-eyed monster has been out ever since.), I remembered my dear father-in-law once looked at my dryer when it was doing the same thing and found a bird's nest in the vent going out of the house. I decided it might behoove me (basically because I am so cheap) to check out the vent and dryer hose to it to see if there was some kind of blockage. (WARNING--Do not attempt this before you've showered. You wouldn't believe the stuff that will stick to you!)
I shoved the dryer out of its tiny space and squeezed my not so tiny self behind it. I disconnected the hoses, cleaned them out like a pro and was feeling pretty proud of myself until part of the hose broke while I was trying to get it back on the dryer. No worries, I was able to pry it off with my trusty pliers and had plenty of hose left to reconnect it. I got all the excess lint vacuumed up and put the dryer back in place. It's still no Electrolux, but it does seem to be working better.
My husband seems to enjoy me tackling some of these projects myself. Imagine him hiking up his pants and sniffing, "Yeah, my wife did all the drywall taping on our attic project," as if he were announcing he could bench press 500 pounds. But I'm afraid this backfires on me. When I shoot for my husband's admiration I end up doing the work myself. Hmm. . .is he outsmarting me?
2) I've been analyzing how I spend my time lately (no wonder that Electrolux commercial got to me) and considering keeping track of every minute to see where I waste it. I've been recording time spent doing things important to me and the hours seem so few in comparison to an entire week of hours. What is happening to all my time? I stay busy all day. The television is not on. I don't even listen to the radio. I'm not languishing forever with a good book or talking on the phone. There is a part of me which longs for efficiency and another which fears being locked into routine. What am I to do? What time management tips have you discovered?
3) We saw a commercial (I assure you we aren't television junkies. We're just attentive when we watch.) for a debt solution type of place, one of those organizations that want to help with credit card debt. We were taken aback when the commentary actually said, "It can happen to anybody and it probably isn't your fault." What? Probably isn't your fault? What are we doing, creating a society of sissies who don't take responsibility for their own actions? YIKES!
4) I had a brief discussion with a couple of guys about homosexuality. I wished we had more time to explore the topic when one of them said, "Of course there is some argument as to what the Biblical culture prescribed as homosexual behavior. Some people believe it may have more to do with pedophilia than what we think of as homosexual. That's just the thing. In homosexuality there are no victims like there are with pedophiles."
"I don't know," I said, "I saw plenty of people in college I would classify as victims when they were convinced by other people they must be gay."
This led to a discussion about gays in Christian leadership and how we wouldn't put a bank robber in charge of a church because he creates victims, but a homosexual doesn't. I don't think the man saying this was necessarily endorsing homosexuality, but trying to explain some common trains of thought.
It was very interesting and I found myself in a position I am not in frequently, conversing with two men I don't know very well, both my senior and very learned, both well spoken, kind and easy to get along with. We had limited time and I wondered how much to say and how to stay respectful while stating what I believe to be Biblical truth. It made me realize what a bubble I live in and wish for more practice in situations like these.
Facebook Membership May Be Forever
Facebook CEO to Scared Users: Trust Us
It's an interesting discussion, one precipitated by the changing technological culture. Mark Zuckerberg explains it well in his note.
6) "Mom," my thirteen-year-old son asked out of nowhere, "Do you think it's bad when people date all through high school and get married? Is it bad they've never dated anyone else?"
He asked me this while we were driving home from an appointment. His question sparked a wonderful, albeit brief (we were only a few minutes from home) dialogue on dating and God's plan for people. It brought to mind similar conversations I had this week in the car--one with he and his younger sister on the way home from church about tattoos, one with their older sister about sex.
I am often astounded at how our kids have picked up our attitudes and beliefs about life. We have not sat them down regularly or purposefully to instill this in them. They get them through short-lived encounters, time talking in transit, at the dinner table, in the waning moments before going to bed. These small moments, occurring every day, matter, a lot.
7) We're shopping for a different vehicle. BLEH! I hate it. It stresses me out big time. I hate the thought of spending thousands of dollars, dealing with salesmen, knowing unless you buy brand new (which we aren't), you'll probably get something with some issues. It makes me a little sick to my stomach. Pray for me. We're hitting it hard today.
Pop over to Jen at Conversion Diary for more Quick Takes. Have a great weekend.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
I was doing something as benign as grocery shopping when it happened. I passed by an older man and his wife. Though he didn't look at all like my dad, something about the way the guy walked, his tennis shoes smoothed over on the outside edges of his feet, his breathing a little labored, reminded me of my late father. And the reminder physically hurt. A twinge hit my gut and I actually caught my breath to check the tears.
I have a hard time watching Boston Legal. William Shatner looks SO much like my dad it is eerie. I can't see him without remembering. Even my husband comments every time we watch.
My dad died over three years ago. Why do these things still happen? Why do I get that sick feeling in my stomach every once in a while, making my nose tingle and eyes water? I spent most of my life wishing I had a better relationship with my dad. Why have I grieved so?
“You can kiss your family and friends good-bye
and put miles between you,
but at the same time you carry them with you
in your heart, your mind, your stomach,
because you do not just live in a world
but a world lives in you.”
by Frederick Buechner, in
Telling the Truth: The Gospel as Tragedy, Comedy, and Fairy Tale
Those we love become a part of us. Though the relationships may not be ideal, once we have loved, those people seep into us. They may make us crazy or hurt us deeply. We may struggle to understand and want to shake each other, but our passionate reactions, both good AND bad, prove we have loved them.
This explains so much in my life. This explains why broken relationships plague me years after they've been resolved. This is why I carry around guilt over relationships which are difficult. This is why I long to go home, my real home, in heaven with a God I can't see or touch.
I have loved.
And in loving I am forever changed.
Join Nina at Mama's Little Treasures for more takes on this quote.
Friday, February 13, 2009
(1) We're supposed to have a major dump of snow in my neck of the woods today. So far there's nothing, but school is already cancelled. I can't wait. Truly. One of my favorite things is snow and the calming effect it has on the world. Everything gets quieter. Unexpected, welcome, breaks from busy schedules occur. Love it.
(2) I have a friend who just finished chemo treatments for breast cancer. I've carried guilt around with me throughout her entire treatment process, not knowing what to do for her. Prayer didn't seem like enough.
I have this problem in a lot of areas. What is enough to do for someone? How much money is enough to give? No matter what I do, it seldom seems like enough. Often the feeling immobilizes me and I do nothing. I pray about it and listen for God's voice. If I don't feel His leading, meaning no bright idea pops into my head, then I let it go. But is this me giving myself permission to blow things off? What are our responsibilities to other people? How much is enough?
(3) Get a load of this banana!
Have you ever seen such a huge banana? Is there something wrong with my family that we get so excited about a banana we take a picture?
(4) Through his music website, Distinctive Notes, my husband has struck up an interesting relationship with a lady in Indonesia. This woman uses the free hymn transpositions on his site and periodically asks him to add other hymns. She teaches at a Christian school and speaks (writes?) very broken English, but is so appreciative of his efforts to accommodate her. This week she was looking for a specific song she couldn't locate and e-mailed him saying, "I remembered I have you." It's so cool for him to have a part in helping a small Christian school in Indonesia from a little town in Nebraska. The communication from her is priceless as her love of the same God we serve comes through clearly. Neat stuff.
(5) I have a similar internet experience myself. A guy we had in our very first youth group, I think before we were even married, found me on Facebook. This was a kid who was very quiet and we've never heard from or about in over twenty years. This shy, loner kind of kid is now teaching English in South Korea and attends the largest evangelical church in the world. He tells us we were great role models for him and instrumental in his Christian growth. Last night we chatted online and I told him I scratch my head a little every time he says something like that. We had no clue we were having any effect on this kid. And now I talk to him from halfway around the world about the marvels of how God works. Wow.
(6) I'm terrible with plants. I love them. I think they add a lot to a home environment, but I always forget to water them. Mine are looking ghastly right now. My mother-in-law puts me to shame. She has gorgeous plants all over her home, each leaf clean, shiny and perky. My husband always teases me about mine, telling me to put them out of their misery and get rid of the scraggly ones. For some reason, I can't bear to get rid of them if there is any sign of green left.
"That plant is dead," he'll say.
"No it isn't. I think it might come out of it. See that tiny leaf forming?" I'll respond.
"Tami, it's a twig sticking out of some dirt. It's not a plant. Get rid of it."
(7) I'm playing in the orchestra of a community theatre production of "Hello Dolly." The commitment of theatre and music people always impresses me. Once someone has caught the acting or music bug, they'll sacrifice most anything to do it. The people in this production have been rehearsing five nights a week for the past seven weeks! A person wouldn't do that just because it's kinda fun. It reaches something in them. It is confirmation to me that art captures the soul and tugs on it.
It makes me feel blessed to be part of a church who supports the arts in its own musical productions. Though the purpose is to minister to our community, I think the ministry is greatest to those who participate. I am changed and encouraged and strengthened by being involved. If God communicates to others in the audience, it's an added bonus. I wish more churches would recognize the great outreach drama can be, not only to the public at large, but more so to their own congregants who are a part in it.
That's life at the Boesiger house this week. Be sure to visit Jen at Conversion Diary for more Quick Takes. Happy Valentine's Day. Have a terrific weekend.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
I've never posted a book review on this blog. I don't like reading them, so I don't write them. But the book I am about to plug stirred up so much in me, I feel compelled to bring it to your attention.
The book is Havah: The Story of Eve. Its author, Tosca Lee (a woman who lives in Lincoln), has done a marvelous job of weaving story with spiritual truth. Her depiction of the beauty of Paradise makes one wish to be there. Imagine living in a perfect world, void of evil and conflict, in perfect unity with your spouse, all of creation living in harmony. Her presentation of Eden makes the Fall all the more tragic, causing me to feel their loss, and ours, for the remainder of the book.
I gained a new appreciation for how Adam and Eve's mistake affected marriages for all time. Before the fateful bite, Adam adores his mate, seeks solace in her, enjoys and drinks her in. Afterward, he is distant, always working, brooding, distrustful, unwilling to own up to his own mistakes. She resents his blame, his long hours away from her, his attraction to other women and yearns for healing in their relationship. It made me think our sin not only separates us from God, but also from the marriage relationship God intends for us. How can we represent our Holy God as one, carrying around the ill feelings brought on by our sinfulness?
Twice while reading this book I was so moved I had to get alone with God for a while. It forced me to face questions like,
Why do You feel distant, God?
Why do You punish us with life here on earth?
Why does there have to be so much suffering, so much pain?
Why does life have to be so hard?
What have I done to hamper my children's destinies?
What if You don't find my sacrifice acceptable?
Why do You delay, God, when I call to You?
Often the characters seek after God, longing for a glimpse of Him, a whisper of His presence, a shiver of His touch. They grow despondent thinking God has forgotten them. They are never quite satisfied with life as they know it. They feel they are missing something. Sound familiar? It brought to light the truth of Ecclesiastes 3:11, He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.
It is a beautiful book, one I have thought on often since finishing it, one with an important message. I had the chance to meet Ms. Lee at a book signing in December. She signed my copy, "I wrote this with you in mind." When handing it back to me she explained. "I know I didn't know you when I wrote this book, but I wrote this for every woman." As I read through her novel, the truth of her inscription was evident. Havah is every woman, with the same emotions and struggles and yearnings (although she seems to have a much better body image than most of us). While at times it was difficult to read because it hit too close to home, letting myself feel it and ponder over it was therapeutic. Persevering through the tough stuff was well worth it. In the end, as Adam dies, Havah gains an understanding into the suffering she has endured, something we can hold on to as daughters of Eve. If we can't be united with God as in Eden, He gives us the gift of wanting to be, causing us to look harder for Him, to know a better life exists in the next realm.
I walked away with a greater sense of the mystery and supremacy of God, and tremendous gratefulness for the gift of the Holy Spirit, God's presence with us always that Eve did not experience.
If you only read one book this year, read Havah. It will touch your soul.
Friday, February 06, 2009
(1) I've always wanted to be recognized as the best at something or at least one of the best, like Michael Jordan or Mozart or Steven Spielberg or Michaelangelo, someone whose work will be remembered beyond their death. I've got some skills, but I'm far from being one of the best at anything. My husband says there will always be someone to top anyone eventually. And I understand judgment of the best is subjective. What one person thinks is outstanding, another doesn't. But wouldn't it be awesome to be at the top of your game in an area, an undisputed expert or master?
(2) How are you doing on your new year's resolutions? I don't make them, but choose one word or phrase to concentrate on with God. This year's word is FOCUS and God has been faithfully showing me how to do this. Already He's made it clear He wants me to take a secondary role in an activity I've been involved with. I was frustrated at first, but He gave me great peace about it and now I see His answer to prayer. This particular activity is one responsibility I can pare away and give less energy to, freeing up my time. My FOCUS is getting there.
How about you? Are you still working on your goals? What helps you stay motivated?
(3) I am amazed at how much our oldest has grown up in the last year. Our son is planning on transferring to a different college next fall. When he told us, I panicked at first, thinking I just got used to one college system and now I'd have to learn another. I didn't want all the work I went through last year in walking him through the admission and scholarship process. But lo and behold, the kid surprised me. He's been taking care of it himself. Go figure! He'll call if he has a question and complete the applications on his own. I keep thinking, "Where were you last year when we were doing all this?!"
He even had some fraudulent charges on his checking account he handled himself, making the necessary calls to clear it up. I didn't have to intervene at all on that one. I can see him wanting to be his own man. And he's starting to look the part too. Weird.
He talks to my husband a lot about composing and calls him often with all kinds of music questions. Just when I started feeling jealous and thinking he didn't need me any more, he asked for my advice on how to handle something with a girl he likes. Aah. . .now that I'll gladly take a crack at. I know no matter how grown up he gets, he'll always greet me with his charming, "Hey, Mom" and a warm hug. This parenting stuff just gets better and better.
(4) Monday is the anniversary of the day my husband asked me to marry him. I look back on who we were then and marvel at how we have changed. Though we are older, we are better, both individually and together. We've had many good years together, but I would never want to leave where we are in our relationship now to relive any of those memories. Time and experience have taught us much and solidified us as a unit. The couple we were twenty-three years ago was good, but the union we share now is priceless. Happy "Anniversary", honey.
(5) We have people.
After many years of doing our own taxes, a few years ago it became necessary to enlist the help of an accountant. I can't tell you how much this relieves my stress level. Getting taxes completed on top of all the other things I had to do and figuring out all the mumbo jumbo was such a burden to me. Now I don't have to give it a thought and actually enjoy this time of year. Plus our accountant is a lovely woman I thoroughly enjoy.
I love having people and thank the Lord for an accountant I trust completely. Now if only I had the money to expand my people to include a housekeeper, a gardener and a closet organizer.
(6) My husband bent down to give me a kiss last night and the air was so dry we shocked each other before our lips even touched. I'm not kidding you. There was a visible spark between our noses! There's chemistry for you! The good news is he wasn't deterred and completed the task quite nicely.
(7) Occasionally I get the feeling someone I know in real life may read this blog, by the way they look at me. There's a wistful, knowing smile they get when I talk about a subject I've blogged on. I want to ask, but don't want to come across as self-centered, especially if I'm wrong. You make me wonder. Who are you, reader? Yes you, the person reading these very words at this minute. I'm curious as to who scans these ramblings of mine regularly. What would it take for you lurkers to give me a shout out? How many of you have visited this blog for some time and never commented? I'd love to get a hey from everyone who reads this post. If you're too shy to leave a public comment, e-mail me. You'll find the address if you click on the "View my complete profile" under the About Me section at the top of the page.
What do you look for when you come here? What do you like? What do you dislike? What would you like to see? How can I make this blog better? Is there a subject you wish I'd avoid, one you'd like to read more about? I really want to improve. Your input is invaluable. Throw me a bone, people. Tell me what you think.
And that's all I got for today, folks. Be sure to visit Jen at Conversion Diary for more Quick Takes. Have a great weekend.
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
I watched the movie Facing the Giants for the first time last weekend with my son (No, I haven't been living in a cave.). We ordered pizza and watched the movie at home, to save his image, you know.
It was so nice to see actors in a movie unapologetically talking about God, making Him a real part of life, even if it seemed more staged than natural. I'll take staged as long as it proclaims Christ.
I totally ate up the message of perseverance. Don't give up. Give all you've got, at all times, in all circumstances, striving to bring God all the glory. Expect God to do the miracle. He will give the strength you need. I found myself tearing up during the "pump-you-up" scenes. I get weary easily. I ask God all the time what we're doing, feeling frustrated at His plan. I needed that message and am pretty sure God's going to tell me more about this.
But one thing stuck in my craw. I didn't like it that in the end the main couple has been given everything they want. They say continually, "When we win, we praise Him. When we lose, we praise Him." But from the moment the main character aligns himself with God, his prayers are answered one by one in every aspect of his life. The football team gets new motivation, a revival hits the school, he gets a brand new truck given to him, the team goes from a losing record to winning the state championship in a matter of weeks and his wife gets pregnant after being told they had a 10% chance of conceiving. Then two years later, they've won another championship, the couple has an adorable son and another baby is on the way.
I like happy endings as much as the next person, but does anyone's life turn out this way? Isn't it too simplistic to suggest if you honor God, He'll give you everything you want? It reminds me of Satan's comment to God about Job, "Does Job fear God for nothing? Have you not put a hedge around him and his household and everything he has? You have blessed the work of his hands, so that his flocks and herds are spread throughout the land. But stretch out your hand and strike everything he has, and he will surely curse you to your face."
I wanted to see more praising God when they didn't get what they wanted. Yes, there were two scenes they did, but afterwards they got an unexpected berth into the playoffs and in the other the wife found out her test results were mixed up and she was pregnant after all. Everything turned out better than they imagined.
I'm not saying God won't do that for us. He can and He does, but it is my experience He more often asks us to trust without knowing or seeing or understanding. I have been blessed beyond measure, but I've also had lots of prayers God either answered no or told me to wait on. . .for an undisclosed time that never seems to come.
He is just as worthy of our love and adoration and praise when things don't work out as we hoped, as in the times he showers us with blessings. Let us not suggest following Him will make our lives turn out perfectly. We cannot expect God to be our fairy godmother and make all our wishes come true. May we trust Him to give and take away as He sees fit. May we learn to love Him more deeply as He does.
Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior.
Monday, February 02, 2009
I always thought it odd when my mom would take a bath and ask my dad to come wash her back. I mean, he would see her body, her WHOLE body. . .um. . .naked. Even when I was old enough to know that wasn't uncommon for married couples, the thought of growing up and having any man see me in all my glory was. . .EW. Not gonna happen.
I would be incredulous over stories of couples who wandered around their houses nude or made love in the middle of the day, in the light of day, where there was no place to hide. How could they do that? What gave them the self-confidence? I hated to be seen in swimsuit. There was no way I was going to be strutting my stuff, or lack thereof, in my birthday suit.
I grew up and fell in love, but the fear of exposing myself to another never went away. My clothes muffled the voices of my screaming physical faults. How could I shed them in front of the person I most wanted to impress without the cover of darkness? Why would I give those weaknesses a chance to sing? I couldn't imagine ever feeling comfortable enough to do so.
But then this weird thing happened. I got married. The two became one. And suddenly it didn't matter any more. Surprise of all surprises, you better believe God still does miracles, it wasn't an issue, at all. I was reminded of the description of Adam and Eve--"The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame."
Maybe it helps that my husband is legally blind without his glasses, but I don't think so. I take it as God's blessing. This is how marriage should be, two people bonded to one another as in no other relationship, their ability to be completely exposed a confirmation of their oneness.
I still shake my head and wonder how God did it, but I thank Him for this familiarity and ease with my husband. It is one more indication of His touch in our marriage.
Be sure to visit Lynn at Spiritually Unequal Marriage for more Marriage Monday posts.