Seeking the Elusive--An Antidote to Worry

I spent far too much time worrying in 2012.

Worry robs us. It takes our sleep, our energy, our joy. It lies and distracts and saps and defeats and I'm pretty sure it aged me. Pictures don't lie.

Aren't people who follow God supposed to be characterized by peace and joy?

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts . . .

I failed. Miserably.

It isn't right, all this worry. How does one find peace and joy? What must I do to cultivate it? How can I replace, or rather fight, the awful worry? Surely God's Word has the key to finding peace, right?

Jesus said, "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give you."

God told Moses and Aaron to bless others with this message, "The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace."

David tells us, "The Lord gives strength to his people; the Lord blesses his people with peace."

Lord, you establish peace for us . . .

There's nothing I can do to get peace? It can only come from Him? It must be given?

But as I continue in His Word, I find another hint.

You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.

. . . in quietness and trust is your strength . . .

But when I am afraid, I will put my trust in you. . .

Trust Me.

It's always the right answer.

HOW? How does one trust God? It sounds pretty, but what does it mean?

I trust my husband because we have history, because he's shown himself trustworthy, because time has proven it to me. It's knowledge of each other and a track record. And the same is true of God. My history with Him has shown me He has carried me, led me, gently taught and guided. So trusting Him means remembering His faithfulness. It means spending time with Him, believing Him at His Word, being IN His Word. It means setting myself in His presence as often as possible and being confident of His love and plan.

Blessed are the people who know the passwords of praise, who shout on parade in the bright presence of God. Delighted, they dance all day long; they know who you are, what you do—they can’t keep it quiet! Your vibrant beauty has gotten inside us—you’ve been so good to us! We’re walking on air!

Psalm 89:15-17 (MSG)

Sounds like peace and joy, doesn't it?

In past years I've chosen a word to focus on rather than making resolutions. But this year I plan to seek the elusive, to go hard after peace and joy. My plan? Three easy steps.

Step #1 Pray for peace. If only God gives it, I should be asking for it.

Step #2 Put myself in God's Presence and Word as much as possible, more than ever, out of necessity and with consistency and urgency.

Step #3 Praise Him, sing to Him, in all circumstances and when I don't know what else to do.

Prayer. Presence. Praise.

It's my antidote to worry. Not an easy fix. I know it will take time and practice. I won't kick the worry habit quickly, but it will come. Eventually. As long as I stick with it. His Word promises it.

You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast . . .

Isaiah 26:3

What are your goals for 2013?



Scripture References: Colossians 3:15, John 14:27, Numbers 6:24-26, Psalm 29:11, Isaiah 26:12, Isaiah 26:3, Isaiah 30:15, Psalm 56:3-4

Photo Credit: ruffin_ready

I Can't Get No Satisfaction

I tend to downplay any accomplishments or victories in my life. It seems arrogant, you know, to give myself credit, "for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose." (Philippians 2:3) I can't do anything without His touch in my life.

But when a friend of mine talked about wanting to celebrate two of her recent milestones, it hit me that I never celebrate anything. A few years ago I achieved something I'd always dreamed of, but didn't celebrate for fear it may make others feel bad. I didn't talk about it except with those closest to me. I reasoned that God was the one who turned the light switch on and I couldn't take any credit for it. In my life it was a big deal, but I looked around and realized in the scope of life in general it really wasn't. It should have been something I achieved a long time ago anyway, so what was to get all excited about?

In my thinking, if anyone can top what I've done then there's nothing to write home about. I may touch a few people on this blog, but I don't get thousands of hits a day or make a living from it, so mine is really nothing. I may have written over 1000 posts, but it's only a middle-aged woman's blather that no one cares about, so what's the point of celebrating it? And really, can any one person take credit for progress? The Bible studies I'm a part of may be growing and beautiful bonding and learning may be taking place, but that's not because of me. Everyone is doing their own part. I may write scripts, but they would have no life at all without the input of talented actors and singers and directors. My body becomes more fit not because of what I do, but through the encouragement of the people I work out with who compel me to push harder.

You see what I do to myself? I can't get no satisfaction. I don't let myself be happy about anything I do. Would I enjoy life more if I did? If I marked important events with little celebrations would I find myself less worn out and more joyful?

Is it wrong to be proud of ourselves, to be excited about what we've accomplished, to want to celebrate? I've always told myself it is, but what is wrong with celebrating what GOD has done? Wouldn't it be wrong to dismiss what He's accomplished in and with and through us? Does God want us trudging along getting no satisfaction in life? I don't think so.

So I decided there is nothing better than to enjoy food and drink and to find satisfaction in work. Then I realized that these pleasures are from the hand of God.

Ecclesiastes 2:24

Finding satisfaction in my work is a pleasure from the hand of God. Why am I not accepting it? In the Old Testament, one of the prescribed festivals was the Festival of the Harvest. Isn't this celebrating what God provided through the work of His people?

Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done and won't need to compare yourself with anyone else.

Galatians 6:4

And here is the gist of the matter for me. I downplay my work because I look around. I compare and see I am not all that, which leaves me wondering why I bother trying. I get discouraged and believe my efforts don't count. Do I not give God credit then either? But if I pay attention to my own work, I'll find the satisfaction of a job well done. Which is a gift from God. And worth celebrating.

I'm not going to go so far as to say I'm proud of myself. I know "by the grace of God I am what I am" (1 Corinthians 15:10) and the influence of His spirit and the people He's put into my life enable me to do what I do. But I CAN celebrate Him and the work He does in and with and through me. I can celebrate His presence, His inspiration, His work. In doing so, I just may find the satisfaction I've been missing.

Do you have trouble finding satisfaction?

Hush

Many days I don't feel cut out for life here on earth, haunted with questions I can't find answers to.

Do I measure up?
Is God pleased with me?
Have I done enough?
What is God doing?
Where are we going?
What is my next step?
How can I live a life pleasing to God and man?
What does God expect of me?

I follow the dictates of my world in perfect Martha fashion, staying busy, productive, pushing forward. But no matter how much I give, I'm left disappointed, understanding my part in God's grand scheme is so small. If not me, He could have used someone else.

I yearn for tranquility, for peace in my own mind, for no expectations from myself or others. I long for the quiet of a dark night, a sacred stable, the wonder of a baby full of promise and hope, a physical, touchable, present form of God's love. I want to rest there, like a little sheep no one notices or needs anything from. I want to ponder with Mary, to feel tiny fingers wrap around mine, the only distraction being the low braying of the donkey outside.

Isn't this the spirit of Christmas, the awe, the stillness, the promise wrapped in flesh? Isn't this what I'm missing every day? Isn't this where my spirit wants to reside?

But my abode screams, "Buy! Do! Go! Achieve! Succeed! Impress!" What I crave--the quiet, the peace--is so far from where I live. Should I be surprised to feel weary, weak, worn? I do my best to press on, to rely on God's strength, but often I bring my beaten self, peppering Him with questions, begging to know it matters, to do it right, to discover His heart.

He says, Hush, Tami.

No more questions. Stop thinking, stop trying so hard.

Hush, My child.

Just be with Me.

No questions. No thoughts. Nothing, but . . .

Rest.

Hush . . .

Be still and know that I am God . . .

Psalm 46:12

Photo Credit: Truthout.org

To Know Peace

I know when I'm due for some extended time with God. Life seems overwhelming. I feel confused, anxious, desperately wanting Him to explain everything. Or anything.

So I get up while it's still dark and shut my office door and close my eyes to the world. I listen. If I'm alone in the house, I sing, often through tears. I scour His word for something good, for something to hold onto.

Though there's no audible voice, no miraculous sign, no physical indication of His presence whatsoever, as I read or sing or cry or listen, an unexplainable calm sets in. I exhale slowly and my body relaxes.

Nothing about the problem, the circumstance, the issue changes. Nothing. There's no resolution. No quick fix. No amazing new insight, but the burden lifts slightly and I gain new strength for another day.

“We need to walk out of our worship time with God lighter than when we came in. Lighter because we left behind at the foot of the cross the things that needed to go. Left behind in preparation to learn and lean on the promises of God.”

Wayne Corderio

No fancy words from either of us. Honesty. Vulnerability. Stillness. Scriptural reminders of His goodness. These are the foundation of real communication with God, the measure of true worship. And the kicker is, He wants us to come.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

Matthew 11:28

Have you found rest in Him?

Join Karen at In Love W.I.T.H. Jesus for more interpretations of this quote.

STRESS!

It all started when I began preparations for graduation and then Miss Innocent One got a tomato cage shoved into her leg and the antibiotic for the puncture wound attacked her colon, giving her massive cramps and making her miserable and a day later Ladies Man had a bout with a stomach bug and my laptop crashed and I think I fainted on the dining room floor . . . no . . . no, it was before all that.

It all started when my washing machine overflowed sending water raining into my kitchen and forcing us to buy a new one which was about the same time we paid the new student enrollment fee for Drama Queen to enter college and soon after discovered we needed to make a room deposit for her dorm and senior pictures needed to be paid for and Miss Innocent One started treatment with an orthodontist . . . wait, it was before all that too.

It all started when show choir and drum line competitions kicked off and we were out of town every Saturday, spending tons of money on admission fees, eating out and gas about the time the prices started to climb and my birthday made me sound old and a college visit needed to be made with Drama Queen and I contracted influenza A and everybody else in the family except Miss Innocent One got some form of it missing school which meant I had to ride Ladies Man about makeup work and . . . oh, just a minute, it was before all that too.

It all started around Thanksgiving and we were madly working on the set for the Christmas musical which opened the first week in December and I worried about how it would be received and I had to find a costume for Miss Innocent One and keep my family fed and supplied with clean clothes while being gone every night at rehearsals or performances and being gone every day painting my life away on the set and I hadn't even thought about Christmas shopping or the dollar signs that accompany it . . . but no, that's not right either.

It all started in August when Drummer Boy left our house after a great summer at home and moved into an apartment making me wonder if he'd ever live at home again and my baby started middle school and I realized Drama Queen began her year of lasts in high school and I got sad thinking about next year at that time and our fall activities kicked into gear, taking up every Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday night every single week and I knew Ladies Man would start driving and shortly after be added to our cell phone plan and . . .

Who am I kidding? It all started when Adam and Eve bit into that stupid piece of fruit! There will always be stress. ALWAYS. It is not based on our circumstances. It is part of life as a human. When I ask God why there's always something to worry about, He gives me the same answer.

You don't have to worry about it. That's what I'm for. Trust Me.

We don't have to walk around a bundle of nerves all the time. God makes provisions for us.

Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

Matthew 11:28

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.

John 16:33

If I spent half as much time trusting God as I do worrying, I'd be one serene lady. It takes work to pray about the current stress and really leave it there. It's hard to turn my mind from dwelling on the latest issue or mentally adding the newest expenses that bombard. But if I do, there is peace and calm and aaahhhh . . .

You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.

Isaiah 26:3

Instead of stressing myself into a frenzy, I'm going to spend my energy trusting.

Because peace never keeps me awake at night.



Photo Credit: bottle_void

Stealing Lonely Moments

The stillness of a sleeping house beckons me out of bed. In the quiet, nothing distracts from my reading, my thinking, my praying. All may not be well, but it will be after I've spent this time alone with my God. For in these moments, every task, responsibility or worry seem to lose their importance. In the blessed silence I don't care that I don't understand. I don't wish for any more than what I have. I don't fear the future. Because in that place, in the presence of Almighty God, nothing else matters. I wish I could bottle up the peace and take a swig of it later in the day when life gets busy and stressful and complicated, when I'm sure I'm an unfit mother, a lousy friend, an incapable servant, when I think one more question will surely make my head explode, when dollar signs put a pit in my gut and time ticks away too fast.

I suppose that is why even Jesus stole away moments with His Father. He needed reprieve from this world too.

But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.

Luke 5:16

And so must I.

If my "lonely place" occurs early in the morning, I've got to grab it, for it's worth the loss of sleep. If the demands of my family are getting to me, withdrawing to the bathroom for "loneliness" with the Savior is necessary. Shutting the radio off while driving from one place to the next to listen for Him will soothe my soul. Even in the company of a crowd, I can retreat in my mind for a visit with the Prince of Peace.

To keep my sanity, the right perspective and a sense of peace, stealing lonely moments with my God are crucial.

Lord God, show us how to take them.



Photo Credit: Hoong Wei Long

You Can Always Come Home

You can always come home.

"We don't care what you do or what kind of trouble you get into," my parents said, "You can always come home."

Did their open door make me wild? Did I do whatever I wanted without regard for the consequences? Did I make bad decisions because it didn't matter what I did? Not at all. I wanted to make them proud. I did what I could to warrant their trust. I figured if they thought me worthy no matter what, I must have it in me to do what was right.

I didn't know at the time the foundation my parents laid. In a few simple words, they communicated my worth, their unconditional love, and wonderful security. They impacted not only my relationship with them, but my relationship with God, for He offers us the same peace of mind.

“Won’t the awareness God loves us no matter what lead to spiritual laziness and moral laxity? Theoretically, this seems a reasonable fear, but in reality the opposite is true…the more rooted we are in the love of God, the more generously we will live our faith.”

Brennan Manning
Lion and Lamb

My parents' love motivated me to be better, just like God's love. When I truly understand how He loves me, I want to make Him proud. I want to return His affection. His grace does not cause me to run amok. It inspires me to be all I can.

You can always come home.

Have you wandered from God's path? Have you gotten in some trouble? Are you ashamed of what you've done? Don't continually beat yourself up about it. Don't be afraid. Follow the example of the Prodigal Son. Return to the Lord and see how much He loves you.

Isn't that why Jesus came, so we could always come home?


In "Other" Words is hosted today by Patricia at Typing One-Handed. Pop over and see what others have to say about God's great love.

Have a great Tuesday, friends and never ever forget.

You can always come home.



Photo Credit: Eloise Mason

But you don't tell God no.

She knows what the task is, but she's tired of it. She doesn't feel adequate for the job. So many others do it better. Why would God ask her?

But you don't tell God no.

He's not sure he has it in him to start over. Isn't he too old to learn a new job?

But you don't tell God no.

She's raised her kids. It doesn't make any sense why God would put another on her heart.

But you don't tell God no.

He's tired and spent a portion of every day off in the office. Each evening he finishes tasks on his laptop. Why must there always be something to do?

But you don't tell God no.

The nursing home is depressing and full of people who seem lost. Why must aging be so challenging?

But you don't tell God no.

For years she's asked God to provide relief, yet He tarries. Why? Why must she feel stuck in this place? Why won't He let her move on?

But you don't tell God no.

Like a young child who thrashes about when getting a shot, our fighting with God only makes the ordeal more painful. Two words must bring a smile to His face.

"Okay, Lord."

We don't have to like it. We don't have to feel good about it. We only have to trust Him and say okay.

Then he said to them all: "If anyone would come after me. he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it."

Luke 9:23-24

A Prayer for Peace

O Lord, my God,
grant us your peace; already, indeed,
you have made us rich in all things!
Give us that peace of being at rest,
that Sabbath peace,
the peace which knows no end.

by Augustine of Hippo

I am leaving you with a gift--peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don't be troubled or afraid.

John 14:27

Surrender and Peace

After our oldest moved away to college, I found myself living in anxiety. What if I didn't teach him everything he needed to know? Will he take care of things like he should? What if he fails? What if he doesn't grow up to be a productive adult? How will he make a way for himself? So many questions. So many fears.

It's been a year and a half now and you'd think it would have gotten better, but sadly, not so much. When I realized my fear indicated a lack of trust in God, I knew I was dealing with a spiritual problem.

True freedom from fear consists of totally resigning one’s life into the hands of the Lord.

David Wilkerson
Resigned into God’s Care
(on-line devotional)

I know this to be true in my head, but somehow my heart and stomach don't get the message. I think I've resigned my life into His hands, only to find myself stressing over my son again. It's not right or healthy.

I'm not trusting God.

My fear is not produced by my son's absence. It comes from my own spiritual downfall. How can I remedy the situation?

I admit it to God. I pray for my son. I pray for peace. And every time the fear sneaks up, I remind myself, "TRUST Him. TRUST Him. TRUST Him." The anxiety flees only briefly, so I must practice the surrender over and over and over. Eventually peace will replace worry, strength will take over my weak mama's heart, courage will overtake fear.

The process is not easy, but it is doable. Peace awaits me as I learn to surrender.

You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trust in you.

See what others think of this quote by visiting our host, Debbie, at Heart Choices.

I Cannot Do This Alone

I ran across this poem by Dietrich Bonhoeffer. May it stir in you as it did me.

I CANNOT DO THIS ALONE

O God, early in the morning I cry to you.
Help me to pray
And to concentrate my thoughts on you;
I cannot do this alone.

In me there is darkness,
But with you there is light;
I am lonely, but you do not leave me;
I am feeble in heart, but with you there is help;
I am restless, but with you there is peace.
In me there is bitterness, but with you there is patience;
I do not understand your ways,
But you know the way for me. . . .

Restore me to liberty,
and enable me to live now
That I may answer before you and before men.
Lord, whatever this day may bring,
Your name be praised.
Amen.

--Dietrich Bonhoeffer

Seeking Peace

Life presses in and I get stressed, tired, worn. The first thing I do is pray.

"Please, God, give me relief from this world. Send me your peace."

Sometimes it "works," sometimes it doesn't. But after reading 2 Peter, I think I've had it all wrong.

Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord.

2 Peter 1:2

Do you see it? Grace and peace are not magic fairy dust that sprinkles down on us when we pray. They come through our KNOWLEDGE of God and Jesus. When we read of His love and sacrifice we are blessed. When we understand the character of God, we know He is trustworthy. Is it right to expect God to grant us peace just by asking for it without seeking Him out in His Word?

And if that isn't enough, check out the next verse.

His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of Him who called us by his own glory and goodness.

2 Peter 1:3

We are given everything we need through our KNOWLEDGE of Him. Everything.

Do you need any more motivation to crack open your Bible?

Resisting. . .again

Anxiety ate at me. . .for days. There was no reason for it, yet my body reacted. At night as I lay in bed, my heart beat faster, my stomach gurgled, my mind raced. In the day I could be distracted for small periods of time, but a simple thought would send the panic rippling again, churning my gut.

What do you do when your feelings are irrational, yet existent nonetheless?

I prayed. I read my Bible. I journaled. I talked to my husband. Nothing helped. I went into enduring mode.

All at once it occurred to me this anxiety could not be from God. It was not warning for some impending disaster, for there was nothing to do. The uneasiness could only be coming from one place.

Mmm hmm.

Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of suffering. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong., firm and steadfast.

1 Peter 5:8-10

Another lesson in resisting (YUCK!), but how do you stop yourself from feeling? I came up with a battle plan.

I started with my mind.

You will keep in perfect peace, him whose mind is steadfast because he trusts in you.
Isaiah 26:3

I need a steadfast mind that dwells on God instead of the anxiety. I have to quit thinking about things which bring it on. It's SO MUCH EASIER said than done, requiring constant effort. It takes a lot of practice to force your thoughts elsewhere, but it is absolutely necessary.

I focused on Truth.

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:10

I presented my requests to God. I prayed for peace.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7

Resisting is no easy task. It takes EFFORT, lots of it, but the payoff is worth it. Without some resistance, Satan will continue picking. If I don't push back, I make myself an easy target. I can wallow in misery or I can fight. If I don't resist, Satan will snuff me out and rob me of the joy God intended.

It is war, but I don't fight alone.

As the verse says, "the God of grace. . .after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast."

Does the suffering last longer if we succumb to it, letting ourselves worry and stew? Does peace come more quickly if we resist?

I'm not sure, but in choosing peace and joy, I will resist. Satan will flee. And God will restore me.

Do Overs

Type a few sentences. Save. Type a few sentences. Save.

It's my habit. I've learned it the hard way. I always type a few sentences, then save.

And this morning, while I was working on a project whose deadline is closing in too fast, I went through my normal routine. Type a few sentences. Save. Type a few sentences. Save. At the conclusion of the morning, I saved the document one more time, took a break for lunch, came back to the computer, saved it again for good measure, e-mailed it to my "editor" (my husband), then closed the file. But right before the file whisked away, I noticed the time saved didn't match the current time. Uh oh.

You guessed it. Somehow, don't ask me how, please say it isn't so, my morning's work was lost. I searched every file on my computer and turned up nothing but an alias of a previous copy, one minus a few PAGES.

I was so upset I couldn't concentrate. I tried remembering and came up with bits and pieces all out of order. My spirit was defeated and weary. I pushed myself to reconstruct for about an hour and then couldn't take any more. I was so frustrated. And angry.

And a little mad at God. (Doesn't He have the power to control these things?)

But then a verse kept running around in my head--To the faithful you show yourself faithful...Though my time alone at home expired I forced myself to the computer amid the rat race of the day. I did a few errands, picked the kids up from school and sat at the computer, started dinner and sat at the computer, took my son to an appointment, then sat at the computer, ate, cleaned up, did a little laundry and sat at the computer.

And though I know what I have isn't exactly what I had before, I think it works. I have something to show for the day. It hasn't been wasted. My eyes are tired. My head hurts and I'm ready for the day to be over, but my spirit is at peace and I know this worn out lady will sleep very well tonight. God showed Himself faithful and I am thankful.

He who calls you is faithful and he will do it.

1 Thessalonians 5:24

Amen!

For more Thankful Thursday posts visit Iris at Sting My Heart.

A Glimpse

As the snow gently falls, my body relaxes, my spirit is calmed.

Its softness quiets the world and makes me feel covered, like God wrapping me in a fluffy blanket saying, "Peace, my child, peace."

I can hardly pull myself from the window. I inhale deeply and exhale slowly and think of Him.

God's voice thunders in marvelous ways; he does great things beyond our understanding. He says to the snow, "Fall on the earth," and to the rain shower, "Be a mighty downpour." So that all men he has made may know his work, he stops every man from his labor.
Job 37:5-7

Mmmm. . .I see You, Lord.




To read more Thankful Thursday posts, visit Laurel Wreath.