In the dark of night, my restless soul convinces me problems are larger than life. Panic grips my heart and I'm quite certain I can't handle it. "Help, God! Lord, save me," I think. And I wait for His rescue.
He doesn't come, so I utter it again.
"Lord, You promise You'll be with me wherever I go. I need You now."
Peace doesn't flood my body.
"Are You coming, Lord? Where are You?"
Nothing. I expect Him to swoop in, to relieve my anxiety, and I really believe He can, but when He doesn't, I'm left struggling, floundering, disappointed.
Why doesn't He come?
Doesn't He say, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest?" (Matthew 11:28) I'm coming. I'm weary and burdened. Where is the rest?
Come: to move or travel toward
If I'm laying in bed waiting for His relief, how am I moving or traveling toward Him? Do I want the supernatural so I don't have to do anything? I'm calling out to Him, but is that truly coming? Am I asking Him to do all the work?
Am I seeking His rescue, but not Him?
When I pray out in desperation, I'm really asking for resolution quickly. What if He wants more for me? What if He'd rather let me suffer some for the sake of developing a relationship, an ongoing source of hope and peace? Does He withhold immediate relief so I keep coming back? Does He love me that much?
Which would you rather have--immediate rescue or permanent relationship?
Photo Credit: {Balazs}
2 comments:
Have you ever thought about seeking professional psychiatric help? Maybe you should.
"Am I seeking His rescue, but not Him?"
These words really make one ponder deep. I'm sure there have been times when I have sought His rescue, more than Him.
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