Oh, Mr. Fix-it Man!

My bathroom faucet was dripping, or rather, running. I didn't want to spend the money on a plumber or bug my husband with one more thing to do, so I turned off the cold water supply and ta da!, no more dripping. I fixed it! Okay, well sort of. It's not much of a fix when you no longer have cold water, but if you turn on the hot water and use it really fast you can make do.

The real solution would take more time. I need a new faucet, which requires shopping for one and installing it. But first I'd like to replace the scratched up sink underneath the faucet which requires more time and money and frankly I'm already feeling ill about the harried Christmas season and its accompanying price tag.

The situation reminds me of my prayer life. A problem appears. Life takes an unexpected turn. A parent gets sick. A child struggles in school. I can't seem to conquer the same problem I've had forever. I don't know what to do. I know it's out of my control so I pray. I'm very respectful, being sure to add "Your will be done," yet my urgency for relief reveals something. I want the problem taken care of. The sooner the better. What I'm really asking for is a quick fix.

Basically I'm saying to God, "Oh, Mr. Fix-it Man!"

Hmmm . . . something about that sounds a little disrespectful, doesn't it?

Yet I catch myself doing it all the time. I've prayed way more times than I care to admit, "God, can't the solution be easy just this one time?"

I want easy.

God wants permanent.

So when I call out, "Oh, Mr. Fix-it Man!" He knows what's best is a long-term job, a fix-for-good, not a band-aid to cover the wound, but actual healing. He's not shutting off the cold water supply. He's doing it right. And doing it right . . . well, it takes time, something God isn't bound by, but we are.

I want relief. Now, please.

God wants transformation. Forever. That doesn't happen overnight. Or even this year or maybe not even ten years down the road. It may take a while, but it lasts. It's better in the long run. Much better. You get hot AND cold water.

So when I get frustrated that God's time frame is not mine, I remember His fixing is permanent. I hold out hope that He is indeed working. I believe what I cannot see.

And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.

Philippians 1:6

He IS working, friends. He's just doing it right.

Do you get frustrated with how God works? How do you keep the faith?



Photo Credit: geoffeg

If we just wait long enough . . .

Over the years I prayed a lot about my relationship with my dad. It wasn't bad. It just wasn't . . . well, good. I was never Daddy's Little Girl, or if I was, I never felt it. I could count on him to take care of my car, but we didn't communicate really. Time alone with him felt awkward. We were there for each other, but didn't really know each other. Anything he knew about me came through Mom.

When my parents divorced, it was new territory for us. I had to force myself to call him, and honestly didn't do it like I should have. He was actually more faithful than me. We'd have an uncomfortable ten minute conversation every couple of weeks and that was that.

But I kept praying about it. We both kept trying. Finally, MANY years later, while he was fighting cancer, we were forced together intimately, driving to and from doctors, tests, treatments. We talked like never before, perhaps knowing it was our last chance, and came to an understanding about each other. I think he "got" me before he died. I treasure that time to this day. It took a while, but God answered my prayers.

I've seen similar results in other circumstances. When we were first married, we were so poor, I prayed for God to rescue us. But He had better plans. He taught us to rely on Him and provided everything we needed along the way and slowly gave us more as we followed His lead. I've prayed for my relationship with my brothers for what seems like forever. A big age span has kept us in different life stations for most of our lives, but just this week one called to see what I thought about an issue he was struggling with. I never thought I'd see that happen. We talked freely and comfortably and spiritually. So amazing. I've prayed for things for my kids for YEARS. Some I've seen happen. Some not. But as I watch God's work unfold I am always left amazed at how He's orchestrated it perfectly.

I'd be the first person to admit I get frustrated with God's timing. I want release from the burden NOW, not in ten years. But one thought has encouraged me lately.

Is it just a matter of time before we see God work? If we hang in there long enough, will we be satisfied? Will it make sense some day, either here or in heaven? Are we too impatient? If we just wait long enough, will we see His deliverance, His restoration? Do we give up too easy?

Or do we lack imagination? Do we miss His hand because we're looking for something different? Is He showing Himself, but our human eyes are too dim to notice?

Is ten years too long to wait? Three weeks? Eight months? A lifetime? If we desire God's perfect plan, His masterpiece, shouldn't we give the Master time to work? Would rushing it ruin the beauty? God is not bound by time like we are.

With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day.

He could answer our prayer in 20 years. Or it could be tomorrow.

And so we wait.

For His PERFECT way.

For what is faith if it isn't tested? How do we gain trust by never having to rely on Him? If we keep believing, keep praying, persistently and fervently, is it only a matter of time until God answers? Not until He grants our wishes, but until He answers, with a yes or a no. If we don't lose heart, if we keep coming near, won't the answer come eventually?

I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

Psalm 27:13-14

I am confident that God is working, friends. Even when we can't see it. Time is nothing to Him. We just have to wait. And if we just wait long enough . . .

Perfection.



Photo Credit: Jose Luis Mieza Photography

Wanting More For Someone Hurting

The moment she walked in I knew it was a bad day. She looked good, but serious, a little flushed, preoccupied. She made a beeline for a chair to disappear in before anyone could say anything.

I wanted to help, but didn't know how. Sometimes the best thing we can do for people is give them space, so I did, but she lodged in my mind.

I didn't know what the problem was, didn't know what she needed. She sat there detached, present in body, her spirit far away. I suspect she pushed herself to get out of the house and come, and for that I was proud of her. Yet her attempt to do the right thing didn't seem to help. She remained distracted, troubled, alone.

She stared into space and I wondered if she heard anything. Did she know the words were for her too? I wanted to scream, "Are you listening? Hear the Truth. Don't try to avoid it. Believe it." But there was no opportunity and perhaps she wasn't ready to hear it yet anyway.

So I started praying, both in and out of her presence. I want more for her, better. I want her to know freedom and joy and peace. I get frustrated at my inability to bring her relief.

MY heart hurts, though I have no idea what plagues hers. What can I do? How can I help? How can I make God's love sink into her depths?

My words will never be adequate, so I keep praying. I ask God if there's anything else I can do. I pray. And though I wonder if it's enough, until God gives me something else to do, it must be.

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Ephesians 3:16-19

Just in case you're reading this, friend, and recognizing yourself, know that God loves you and has great plans for you. Know I love you and want better for you and am praying so hard for you. You are not alone.



Photo Credit: honor the gift

When They Seem to Be Slipping Away

Glory be, my readers came through with some topics for us to discuss. The first one comes from Anonymous who writes:

Tami, I am struggling with a child who was raised in a loving Christian home who is slipping away from us, but more importantly, away from God. Please send some words to comfort me in my worry for him and my guilt that I might have not done everything I should have.

Oh my dear Anonymous, any woman with grown children has surely asked these questions, haven't they? I have laid awake many nights struggling with decisions made out of my control. I have worried and stewed and asked God for intervention. I've wondered if God heard my prayers at all when He doesn't answer how I wish. I see the worst case scenario at the end of the road and panic.

I guess this is a long way of saying, "I HEAR YA SISTER!"

I wish I had a pretty answer for you. To be honest I've felt frustrated with God's consistent answer to me.

Trust Me.

I know. Not what you really want to hear. I can't tell you how many times He's told me this or variations of this.

There's a plan, Tami.
You can't see the big picture.
For God causes all things to work together for the good . . .
My time frame is not the same as yours.
Trust the plan.

I have no choice. If I want peace at all, I have to trust. I have to believe God's got it handled and do the only thing I can.

Pray my little heart out, relying on scriptures which tell me those prayers and my persistence matter.

So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. Which of you fathers, if your son asks for[a] a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!
Luke 11:9-13

Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. He said: “In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared about men. And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, ‘Grant me justice against my adversary.’

“For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, ‘Even though I don’t fear God or care about men, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won’t eventually wear me out with her coming!’”

And the Lord said, “Listen to what the unjust judge says. And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off?"
Luke 18:1-7

. . . The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.
James 5:16

I don't let Satan suggest I have failed. It's not that I haven't made mistakes. Everyone does. But what good comes from carrying that guilt? What do we say to our children if we hold onto it? Do we suggest they're horrible people? Do you want to tell them that? Not me. And how much is "enough?" How do you know you've done everything you can? We drive ourselves nuts dwelling on that. Instead, let's focus Truth.

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.
Proverbs 22:6

I choose to believe God's got it, despite my failures.

Finally, I love like there's no tomorrow. Smiles, hugs, well-placed words from my kids absolutely undo me. I keep going back for more. I will be involved in my kids' lives, hoping my presence reminds them where they've come from and who they are. I will demonstrate that I am in their corner and they are on our team. Forever. I will always love them.

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
1 Peter 4:8

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
1 Corinthians 13:6-7

What can you do when you're worried about your grown children?

Trust God.
Pray like crazy.
Don't let Satan beat you up.
Love, love, love.

I'm sorry, friend. There are no easy answers. As a friend of mine used to say on her blog, "Never give up." Never. Ever.

Thank you dear Anonymous, for having the courage to ask a tough question many people struggle with. I appreciate your boldness in coming forth.

What would you say to Anonymous?



Photo Credit: Thai Jasmine (Smile..smile...Smile..)

What Good Does it Do to Pray?

When things don't go as I like, especially if I've spent some time praying, I question God. When prayers go unanswered or are answered contrary to my wishes, I doubt God's faithfulness. Does He really hear us?

I prayed my whole life for my parents' marriage only to have them split up a week before their thirtieth anniversary.

I prayed for God to sell our first house. It took seven years!

I pray things for my kids which haven't transpired.

I ask God for direction and hear the same thing, "Just keep doing what you're doing."

Is it awful of me to admit that often I wonder what good praying does? I don't get the answers I hear others get. I don't have those "It's a God thing" moments. My prayer life feels like a series of endurance tests, of waiting, waiting, waiting for God's perfect timing which never coincides with mine. Just once I'd like to see an answer right away.

But if I had my answer right away, would I forget it as quickly as it came? Does the waiting make me remember? Which requires more faith, getting what you ask for when you ask for it, or having to wait?

And what exactly does God promise us in prayer?

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7

It doesn't say have your prayer answered and you'll find peace. It says present your requests to God and His peace will guard your heart and mind.

Present: give something to (someone) formally or ceremonially

Does this mean prayer is not what God gives us. It's what we give God?

Have I been missing out on peace because I'm not doing my part in giving up the problem?

What good does it do to pray? Nothing, if I'm not trusting God enough to really give it up. But when I do, He soothes. He comforts. His presence brings me rest. He teaches me perseverance which His Word tells us makes us mature and complete.

Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.

Psalm 62:8

Amen and amen.

Are you presenting your requests to God?


Photo Credit: aronki

Are You Looking For Rescue or Relationship?

In the dark of night, my restless soul convinces me problems are larger than life. Panic grips my heart and I'm quite certain I can't handle it. "Help, God! Lord, save me," I think. And I wait for His rescue.

He doesn't come, so I utter it again.

"Lord, You promise You'll be with me wherever I go. I need You now."

Peace doesn't flood my body.

"Are You coming, Lord? Where are You?"

Nothing. I expect Him to swoop in, to relieve my anxiety, and I really believe He can, but when He doesn't, I'm left struggling, floundering, disappointed.

Why doesn't He come?

Doesn't He say, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest?" (Matthew 11:28) I'm coming. I'm weary and burdened. Where is the rest?

Come: to move or travel toward

If I'm laying in bed waiting for His relief, how am I moving or traveling toward Him? Do I want the supernatural so I don't have to do anything? I'm calling out to Him, but is that truly coming? Am I asking Him to do all the work?

Am I seeking His rescue, but not Him?

When I pray out in desperation, I'm really asking for resolution quickly. What if He wants more for me? What if He'd rather let me suffer some for the sake of developing a relationship, an ongoing source of hope and peace? Does He withhold immediate relief so I keep coming back? Does He love me that much?

Which would you rather have--immediate rescue or permanent relationship?



Photo Credit: {Balazs}

Why Pray?

I pray for people.

But often it doesn't seem like it makes a difference. I wonder how much good it does when God will do what God will do. Compared to an omniscient God, how do I know what's best for another? Does it really matter what I pray?

Yet when people I love are hurting, there's only so much I can do. I can't always be present for hugs or encouraging words. I can rarely fix the problem. How do you love when there's nothing else to do?

You pray.

“And why should the good of anyone depend on the prayer of another? I can only answer with the return question. ‘Why should my love be powerless to help another?’ ”

George MacDonald

The good of another is not dependent upon my prayer. I don't possess any special connection with God that will make anyone's wishes come true. But my prayers, my attention to the welfare of another, are a loving action. It's something. Time, distance and resources may limit how we can love others, but prayers are limitless.

I can't explain how prayer works or why God tells us to do it, but I will pray, knowing His ways are best.

And I'll love others by doing so.

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A Prayer for Strength and Love

A Prayer

My God (oh, let me call Thee mine,
Weak, wretched sinner though I be),
My trembling soul would fain be Thine;
My feeble faith still clings to Thee.

Not only for the past I grieve,
The future fills me with dismay;
Unless Thou hasten to relieve,
Thy suppliant is a castaway.

I cannot say my faith is strong,
I dare not hope my love is great;
But strength and love to Thee belong:
Oh, do not leave me desolate!

I know I owe my all to Thee;
Oh, take the heart I cannot give;
Do Thou my Strength, my Saviour be,
And make me to Thy glory live!

by Anne Brontë



Photo Credit: s. alt

Stupid Small Stuff

All morning tears brimmed, awaiting the slightest bump to spill. I went through the motions anyway, because isn't that what pushing through is about, but the nagging feeling didn't leave.

Why is there always something to worry about, someone to be concerned over? Why is there so much pain on earth? Why so many struggles and trials? In any direction you find it, people grieving, struggling with relationships and jobs and the past. The stories are heartbreaking and I ache in sympathy. Where is the victorious living God promises?

I know I'm tired, so I try to shake off the melancholy. I get in the shower, determined to press on, to do the next thing, to endure and praise through the funk, but as the song exits my mouth, tears fall and I feel ashamed. Most of the world would find standing in a hot shower a luxury, yet I had the audacity to cry in mine. I am not facing illness or bankruptcy or rebellious kids. I'm not having to care for disabled family members or work a job I hate or say good bye to a loved one. Why do the little things weigh me down? Why do they eat away at me, keeping me awake at night, stealing my joy? Where is my trust, my reliance on God? Where is the peace?

Is it because I don't want to bother God with my small stuff? The big things bring me to my knees immediately, but the small stuff I putter around with, thinking I can handle it or should be able to handle it without divine intervention. So while pride tells me to muddle through on my own, the small stuff stacks up and wears me down.

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

1 Peter 5:7

He cares for you. Cast ALL your anxiety on Him. Not just the big stuff. Not just the stuff you aren't sure you can handle. ALL your stuff, big, little, huge or teeny. ALL of it.

I'm preaching to myself. How I need to learn this lesson! If I bring ALL my junk to Him, maybe the small stuff won't bite me in the butt.

Excuse me, I've got some praying to do.

There You Go. Be Happy.

The toddler, clearly in distress, wanted his cup.

"Milk . . .," he whined to his mother when he didn't see it near him.

"Did you leave it in the kitchen?" she suggested.

He raced to the kitchen, but didn't find it.

"Milk!" he said, his little arms slamming down to his sides.

"Is it around the corner?" his mother asked.

He was tired of looking. He wanted what he wanted now.

"Milk . . . milk . . . milk," he cried, laying himself on the floor, getting louder with each utterance.

His mother took about five steps and found the cup.

"There you go," she said, handing it to him, "Be happy."

Something about her words stirred me.

There you go. Be happy.

Is this what persistent prayer does? If I keep asking God, if I'm as relentless as a toddler, will He answer?

There you go. Be happy.

I hate to think about Him responding because He's sick of my whining. Who wants to aggravate God? Yet His Word substantiates the idea that persistence pays off.

And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off?

Luke 18: 7

There you go. Be happy.

David did a lot of crying out to God. A LOT. Too many references to list in a blog post. And God called him a man after His own heart.

There you go. Be happy.

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. Which of you, if his son asks for bread will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

Matthew 7:7-11

What weighs on your heart this day, friend? What burden are you trying to buck up and handle? Why not call out to God? Why not take Him at His word and cry out day and night for His hand? Persist until you hear those glorious words.

There you go. Be happy.

A Wish to Be Used

Prayer of Mother Teresa

Dear Jesus, help us to spread your fragrance
everywhere we go.
Flood our souls with your spirit and life.
Penetrate and possess our whole being so utterly
that our lives may only be a radiance of yours.
Shine through us and be so in us
that every soul we come in contact with
may feel your presence in our soul.
Let them look up and see no longer us, but only Jesus.
Stay with us and then we shall begin to shine as you shine,
so to shine as to be light to others.
The light, O Jesus, will be all from you.
None of it will be ours.
It will be you shining on others through us.
Let us thus praise you in the way you love best
by shining on those around us.
Let us preach you without preaching,
not by words, but by our example;
by the catching force -
the sympathetic influence of what we do,
the evident fullness of the love our hearts bear to you.

Amen.

Faith in Prayer

A long week, preceded by months of preparation put me in a funk.

After opening night of our church musical, my body, my emotions let down. How can you know your effort is worth it? The entire next day, my mind swarmed with questions. How much is enough? Was the work valuable? Were people touched? Does it matter? Does it make a difference? One question in particular haunted me.

Is God pleased?

I lay in bed Friday night, two performances behind me, yet doubts lingering, tears dripping into my pillow, begging Him for confirmation of His pleasure.

It means nothing if You don't like it Lord. How can I know if You're pleased?

Silence.

I don't need accolades from others. I need to know what You think. Can You do something for me? How about a sign?

As I thought about a good indication of His pleasure, my mind went to what I wanted, what I wished to see. My brothers aren't big music or theater buffs. They rarely come to our productions. I don't blame them and don't push them because I know it's not their thing, but I've always wondered what they'd think of the words I write. They have no idea I do this, but whenever I pen anything, I think of them. Would they think it sounds too preachy? Is it something they could relate to? Thinking of their response helps me write better dialogue, more realistic conversations, yet they never hear or read my words. So when I thought of the perfect sign of God's pleasure, I thought of them.

God, I'll know You're pleased if you bring my brothers. That would be a miracle.

The minute I prayed it, I knew it was too much to ask. I was testing God, putting conditions on Him that weren't right and I regretted saying it.

I'm sorry Lord. Never mind.

The next morning the heaviness lingered so I took some time to see what Scripture says about God's pleasure. I looked up references containing the words "please", "pleased", "pleasing" and "pleasure," and found these.

My righteous one will live by faith. And if he shrinks back I will not be pleased with him.
Hebrews 10:38

And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He earnestly rewards those who seek Him.
Hebrews 11:6
Yet again, He said, "Trust Me."

Okay Lord, I'll trust You are pleased. I'll finish the work and believe You will use it for Your purposes. I won't shrink back. I'll rest in the fact that I've earnestly sought You and assume that is enough to make You smile.

“Prayer invites us to rest in the fact that God is in control, and the world’s problems are ultimately God’s, not ours. If I spend enough time with God, I will inevitably begin to look at the world from the point of view that more resembles God’s own. What is faith, after all but believing in advance what will only make sense in reverse.”

~ Philip Yancey ~
Prayer: Does It Make Any Difference?

I chose to believe He would make the work matter. I chose to have faith, no matter what was said or who attended. I chose to believe He was pleased and readied myself for two more performances.

Because what is faith if not believing in what you can't see? Faith believes. Faith trusts. Faith knows God is in control. Faith rests. I chose to have faith.

The rest of the performances went well and my spirit was encouraged by the kind comments of others. I didn't look for God to do anything and knew my time in prayer had brought about a change in perspective I desperately needed. Though my spirit could have been daunted by a small crowd for Saturday's performance, I trusted God brought exactly the people He wanted. I enjoyed conversations with people afterward and felt satisfied with God's leading and grateful for His goodness.

So when I entered the auditorium for the final performance, I thanked God for allowing me to be part of His work. I descended into the orchestra pit one last time, played the tuning note for the players, got my score and script settled, then nervously scanned the crowd to pass the few minutes before we started. I acknowledged familiar faces, joked with some in the front row and spotted my mother. As I waved her way, my sister-in-law peeked her head out and my heart beat faster as I struggled to see behind heads blocking my view. There, in row four, next to my mother, sat both of my brothers and their wives.

Incredible.

Though I blinked back tears, nothing could take the smile from my face. God is so good. So very, very good. Though He got His point across that I needed to do what was before me and trust Him for what may come of it, He still threw in some pizzazz and answered my prayer.

First came the lesson in faith, then He let me know, beyond any doubt, He was pleased. Wow.

God hasn't always worked this way in my life. Usually He delays His answers long enough for me to wonder if He hears. Often He says no. And yet, when I come to Him in honest prayer, He makes any answer easier to swallow. His presence centers me and gives perspective. The prayer itself reassures me, regardless of His response.

For He wants us to come to Him, not for the flashy answers we desire, but for the attitude adjustment He provides, for the peace and perspective He offers. He wants us to commune with Him to give us His point of view, to build our faith.

And sometimes, He boosts our faith by replying in an amazing way.

Thank You Lord.

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A New View on Prayer

Because I've got some busy days ahead, I've decided to publish a few posts from the archives this week. The following post originally appeared November 30, 2006.


Do you ever get the feeling God is trying to teach you something profound, but you can't quite wrap your head around it? My mind is swarmed with thoughts about prayer, more specifically, faith in prayer.

I'm a firm believer prayer is important and powerful and essential. I have beseeched God earnestly for unselfish things, believing in every fiber of my being He could do it, but seen little results. I have fasted and seen exactly the opposite of what I asked for happen. I have been sure God could do the impossible and waited anxiously to see it unfold, only to watch life go on as normal. I have mustered up all the child-likeness I can to watch Him work in awe, only to feel Him saying, "Tami, did you really think it could be that easy? What do you learn from that?" I discovered recently this disappointment has taken a hit on my faith.

I reached a point where I didn't EXPECT God to answer positively and even worse, didn't always pray about issues because I was certain He wouldn't make it easy on me by "granting my wish." (Now there's a statement that reveals a lot!) I didn't think it mattered if I prayed about my problems because He would do what He thought best anyway. Don't misunderstand me, I still prayed, but with a defeated attitude, not truly believing He would do anything about it. I didn't trust God any less, but was convinced He was putting me through boot camp to toughen me up. He wanted me to suffer a little. I always loved Him and served with devotion, but prayed cautiously, not expecting much.

And then God did a surprising thing. He answered the prayers of people praying FOR ME. I felt the difference too acutely to dismiss it. Now I am left with thoughts of how to view prayer. How much should I expect from God? Should I ask for the impossible because He is God and absolutely has the power to do the miraculous? Or is that putting Him to the test? I believe He CAN do anything, but my downfall is I'm not convinced He WILL. It may not be what is best for me or for those I pray for. I know from experience God is not about magic fixes. We grow in our faith by persevering, especially when we don't understand. We grow by trusting when we don't get it, by hanging on to what His Word says is true, by believing Him even though we can't feel Him.

"And will not God bring about justice for His chosen ones, who cry out to Him day and night? Will He keep putting them off? I tell you, He will see that they get justice and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will He find faith on the earth?" (Luke 18:7-8)

When Jesus comes, will He find me faithful? Will I persevere in prayer, especially when I don't get the answers I want? I suppose that is where the child-likeness comes in, being content with not understanding. (I'm certain the best part of heaven will be FINALLY knowing everything!!!) Without a doubt, my faith has matured and strengthened in my disappointment. God has done a work in my heart that is irreplaceable. I can honestly say I will love Him even if I never get my prayers answered how I'd like. (I admit, though, I'm almost afraid to say so. What if He decides to test me on that?!) When things are not going so well, I am still confident of His love for me.

So I'm revamping how I view prayer. Now I think of it as talking things over with God, not so much asking. I do a lot more of "Here's what I'm feeling, Lord. Here's what's going on" or "What do You think about that?" and a little less "Please help me with ________________." I am so thankful He hasn't given me everything I asked for. His plan HAS to be better than mine.

I'm not sure I grasp the whole idea of prayer, but I know I am to do it, so I will. And when the times of silence from God come, I will persevere. I will trust His judgment. Scripture tells us over and over God rewards perseverance. Hebrews 10:35-36 and James 5:11 are among my favorites, but the verse that spurs me on today comes from Jesus Himself, "but he who stands firm to the end will be saved." (Matthew 24:13)

Lord, thank You for teaching me about prayer. Thank You for stretching my faith and asking me to press on without answers. Continue Your work in me, despite my objections. I love You.

My Prayer for You

Maybe I'm weird (shh, don't say it), but I constantly find myself wondering what's going on in the heads of people. As I watch those around me, I ask God what's knocking around in their minds. I concentrate on their eyes and see people in pain, struggling with their health, their marriages, their job situation. I see humans seeking respite from their problems. It makes me think of my favorite verse of Away in the Manger and I tailor it into a prayer.

Be near them, Lord Jesus, I ask Thee to stay
Close by them forever and love them I pray.
Bless all the dear children in Thy tender care
And take us to heaven to live with Thee there.
That is my prayer for you today friend. May God be near. May He stay close forever. May you sense His love.

Just Come

I seek God for inspiration, for perfect words, for opportunities, for ideas that will resonate with others.

I take my burdens, my concerns, my dreams and place them before Him, asking for His favor.

I speak the names of people I love, beseeching His blessing on their lives, begging Him to make Himself real to them, requesting divine intervention.

I ask for wisdom and clarity and strength and courage. I implore Him to make me more than I am.

When I am finished I listen and His words break my heart.

Why don't you just come?

Without questions. Without needing anything. Aren't I enough? Rest in Me. Sit with Me. It's true I'm here for you and want you to lay your burdens before Me, but sometimes all you need is to rest in My presence.

Just come.

Let Me soothe your spirit, still your anxious mind.

. . . you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed . . .*

. . . Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.**

Just come.



*Luke 10:41-42
**Mark 6:31

Photo Credit: Uncle Paul the bird man: Off till further notice

A Lesson from My Daughter

Miss Innocent One entered middle school with one objective.

Meet new people.

In our town, six elementary schools empty into one middle school so the odds of sparking relationships grows exponentially. She's grown up with older siblings telling her most of their friends are kids they did NOT go to elementary school with so she started her new school with high hopes of adding to the great friends she already has.

She connected with one girl the first week of school. We heard about Curly-headed Cutie every day. She came over to to hang out with us. She invited Miss Innocent One to her birthday party. Miss Innocent One fell in love with her sisters and family. All was right with the world and her newfound friendship until last week.

When she walked in the door Friday after school, Miss Innocent One threw her back pack on the kitchen floor hard enough for it to thud. I didn't get my customary smiling "Hey Mom." She slumped onto the bench.

"Curly-headed Cutie is moving to Maine," she said through tears.

"Maine?" I asked, "When?"

"On Tuesday. Today was her last day at school."

I tried to remind her what was true.

"I'm sorry, honey. That stinks. But you have other friends."

"She's my only new friend."

"You've only been in middle school a couple of months. It takes time to form friendships. You'll get there," I offered.

She wasn't convinced. We decided to take something over to Curly-headed Cutie, make sure she had our address and say good bye.

Monday after school she lamented about missing her friend. "I need to find someone to talk to in periods 3, 4 and 5."

Tuesday after school Miss Innocent One came home a different kid.

"I met two new girls today!"

"Yeah?"

"This other girl I know introduced me. They were nice. I really liked the one girl. She told me about her horses."

"See? It'll work out."

Wednesday after school she was all smiles.

"Remember Horse Girl I told you I met yesterday? We were talking today and she said her mom said she could have a friend over on Friday or Saturday. And I said, 'oh that's good.' And then she was all awkward for a minute and then she said, 'I was thinking maybe it could be you.'"

"Hey, that's great, honey."

"Yeah. I prayed about it last night and asked God to let me know if she would be a good friend for me, then today she asked me to come over!"

I must admit my shock in hearing she had the foresight to ask God for such a thing, yet my spirit rejoiced, both at her wisdom and God's grace. How sweet of Him to answer her prayer so quickly. How wonderful He made Himself real to her.

Tomorrow Miss Innocent One is going home with Horse Girl. She couldn't be happier and I am an amazed and thankful mother, in awe of the personal way God woos my daughter, letting her know He hears and cares.

He reminds me this is how He cares for all of us. He is concerned about our lives. We don't have to figure everything out. Life does not have to be so complicated. All we need to do is ask.

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

Matthew 7:7-8

On the Floor

"I was on the floor for you today," she said.

On the floor. In prayer. For me.

Imagine.

Though I made some silly comment and laughed it off, my soul was deeply touched. To think anyone would pray that hard on my behalf moves me, humbles me, fills my heart with gratitude.

Makes me feel extravagantly loved.

Thank you friend. Your words, coupled with your generous, most perfect action soothe my spirit and raise my confidence in our Lord. I glimpse God's love for me through you.

. . . And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Ephesians 3:17-19
You help me grasp the love of Christ. My spirit is stirred. My heart is touched.

You model the best way to love.

On the floor.



Photo Credit: jiadoldol

Be Near. Be Clear.

I watch my daughter struggle to decide what direction to take her young life. Where should she go to college? What should she choose for a major? What does God want her to be? What does He want her to do?

I can't answer her questions. I listen and give my two cents (lucky her), but I can't make the decisions. So I pray.

O God, be near. Be clear.

God's placed my friend in a tough spot. Despite her best efforts to rise above it, pain from her past and stress in her present steal her joy. She carries a heavy burden and begs God for relief which doesn't come.

I can't explain it. I don't understand it myself. I wish for a way to lighten her load, but there's nothing I can do. So I pray.

O God, be near. Be clear.

Another friend talks about the hard thing God's asking her to do. She'd rather not follow His voice on this difficult task, but she loves God so she will. When is the right time? What will happen as a result? What will she say? How will others react to her choice?

I have no way of knowing and can't advise her at all, but I listen. I admire her courage. I ask questions, hoping to help her process her thoughts and feelings. And I pray.

O God, be near. Be clear.

I struggle with my own perceptions of what my life should be. What is the best way to spend my time? What activities should I be involved with and what should I let go? What honors Him the most? How do I make the most of the years my kids are left in my house yet work in His service? Can God show me the blueprint so I know I'm on the right track?

His lack of answers brings me to my knees.

O God, be near. Be clear.

It doesn't take long to realize our inability to handle this life on earth appropriately. It's frustrating, but a gift, really, if we let it lead us to the throne of God.

Be near me Lord Jesus
I ask Thee to stay
close by me forever
and love me, I pray.
Bless all the dear children
in Thy tender care.
And take us to heaven
to live with Thee there.

Away in the Manger
Verse Three

O God, be near. Be clear.



Photo Credit: magnusvk

A Prayer for Empowerment

Lord, I am only me.
A person far, FAR from perfect.
A woman wanting to please You, but knowing her weaknesses all too well.
An individual recognizing Your grace, but failing in her application.
A little girl wanting to hear You say, "Good job," but knowing she doesn't deserve it.
How can I ever do enough for You?
How can my measly attempts be sufficient for the Creator of the universe?
How can a human make Almighty God proud?

How do I make You smile?

Your Word tells me You have given everything I need for life and godliness.

I claim that promise now.

Make me strong.

Give me the spirit of power and love and self-discipline.

Enable me to do that which seems beyond me.

Guide my steps, my mouth.

Empower me with Your spirit.

Remind me I do not walk alone.

Grant wisdom and discernment, humility and mercy.

Make me more like You.

In the name of Jesus,

Amen.

Photo Credit: Tolka Rover

A Blogger's Plea

To take a few days to play, I decided to rerun some old posts this week. Here's an oldie but goodie that originally appeared June 16, 2008.

Lord Jesus,

You say in Proverbs, "When words are many, sin is not absent" and I know the more I write here, the more likely I am to fall. It scares me, Lord. I know people cannot hear my tone of voice as they read. They aren't able to clue into my body language or see the tears in my eyes. They don't know how long it takes to choose the right word or find words at all. They can't see how I agonize over being respectful and sensitive while trying to relay what You've put on my heart. There is no way for them to know how many words, paragraphs, posts are left out in an attempt to spare feelings.

But You know, Lord. You know my heart's intent. At the core of who I am is a woman who desperately wants to honor You and point others Your way, but I am human. Despite my best efforts, I will fail. I do fail. When words are many, sin is not absent. I have hurt people, Lord, not intentionally, but that doesn't make my heart hurt less. I have offended and will probably, unknowingly do it again. You know how that grieves me, Lord. So much so, that many days it does not seem worth the risk.

Yet something in me, something I sense as Your spirit will not let me rest if I quit. Even on my lowest days a questions haunts me. How do you tell God no?

So today, Lord, I ask You to go before me. I echo the words of Moses saying if Your presence does not go with me, do not send me. What else will distinguish me from all the other people on the face of the earth? Don't let me be self-indulgent, wasting words and time. Give me wisdom and discernment, grace and sensitivity.

Mostly, Lord, get me, this very ordinary woman, out of Your way. Speak to us, Lord. May those who come to this blog look past me to see You.

I love You, Lord. I want to be Your girl. Enable me to do so.

In Your Holy name I pray,
Amen