Friday, July 06, 2012

7 Quick Takes (Volume 191)

1) I thought a tan was supposed to make one look more youthful, rested, vibrant. I've just found another hazard to aging. I now have a deep enough wrinkle between my eyes that it left a little white line where the wrinkle is! My wrinkles are giving me weird tan lines! Oh brother. And ugh. And sigh.

2) Drama Queen has this classic look, a scowling eyebrows, wrinkled nose thing that screams her. You've seen it before.

It's classic because she's always had it.

We get this look probably a hundred times a day. The other day Ladies Man was talking and she flashed him "the look."

Ladies Man: What?

She said nothing, just flashed it again.

Ladies Man: I feel like your eyebrows are scolding me.

Nailed it. Perfectly.

3) I attended a bridal shower out of town with my sister, sister-in-law, Miss Innocent One and my niece, Sweet Cheeks. Sweet Cheeks brought a few snacks along--some fruit and confetti popcorn--and the girls were chomping away in the back seat.

Miss Innocent One: Mom, you would totally hate this popcorn.

Me: Why?

My Sister (without thinking, OBVIOUSLY): Because it's colorful and fun.

Me: What?! Cause I'm so boring and gray?

My Sister: Wait, that's not what I meant. I didn't finish. I mean it's colorful and fun and full of fat and sugar and you would hate it.

Me: Yeah, yeah, whatever.

It took me back to the days when she and my cousin would tease me, making a square in the air with their fingers and singing, "Square, square. Tami's a square."

She felt terrible about it the rest of the trip and kept explaining herself. I know she really didn't mean anything by it, but I'm gonna hang on to it. I kind of like having something to razz her about now. Apparently I need to learn how to have more fun.

4) Miss Innocent One had a super time on the Fourth. First she and I made this festive pizza.

After dinner, her siblings ditched us and she was left with us and her grandparents. She made the best of it and had fun planning a little fireworks display of her own. Everything had an order. And she followed it very carefully.

That girl knows how to have fun anywhere.

5) I bought a new furniture polish with Febreeze in it to use in my office. My new chair has a smoky kind of smell and I thought it might help. The polish smelled so good, I got going and couldn't stop, even using it on the floor. It smells terrific, but now my floor is so slick everyone has to catch themself coming into the room. It's so funny. I'll be typing away at my computer and someone will run into the room to ask me a question and the minute they hit the floor they're stopped, something like this.

"Mom, can I (foot hits the office floor) . . . Whoa! (slides five feet) . . . Oh my gosh! What the heck?"

Sometimes they even forget what they need! Bonus!

6) Ladies Man knows how to keep things interesting at our house. He decided one night this week at 9:PM that he needed to cook. He found a recipe online for onion rings and decided to use some of the batter to try his hand at mozzarella sticks. He didn't do too bad.

Later in the week he regaled us with songs about stealing tacos and feeding them to puppies. You ever watch something and know it's completely ridiculous, yet you can't turn away? Yeah. It's kinda like that. It's so dumb, but that stupid taco song is catchy! Then he went to singing at the top of his lungs until I hollered at him to stop and then he started singing popular songs in his Elmo voice, which is another thing I have a hard time resisting.

If late night kitchen adventures and silly songs with Ladies Man weren't enough, he had all our hearts beating when he gashed his leg open at a friend's house on the Fourth. At the end of Miss Innocent One's fireworks display we got a call from Drama Queen saying they were on their way to the emergency room. If you're particularly squeamish, you may not want to view these pics. Here's what we found when we arrived.

Here's a view of his whole leg to give you some perspective on the size of this thing.

Apparently God has a sense of humor as the attending doctor was the same guy who stitched up Ladies Man's frozen turkey wound back in November. He did a super job on that injury, so we were happy to see him. Here's the finished product, 6 inside stitches and 9 outside stitches later.

Nope. Never a dull moment with this kid around.

7) Ladies Man is also in mourning after the passing of Andy Griffith. He's a huge Matlock fan which seems out of character for a 16-year-old, but I guess he's spent enough sick days at home through the years comforted by the television show, to develop some kind of nostalgic love for the guy.

At dinner, I told him to tell his dad the sad news.

Ladies Man: One of my favorite actors died today, Dad. The world will never be the same.

Kevin: Who? Chuck Norris?

I thought it a good guess. Matlock reruns occur as frequently as Walker, Texas Ranger episodes, another Ladies Man favorite. He can even sing the theme song to that, in perfect Chuck Norris form (yet another train wreck I must watch). So his response to Kevin's guess caught me off guard.

Ladies Man: Dad, Chuck Norris won't ever die. If Chuck Norris dies, Jesus will come back.

Does anyone understand what that means? I'm scared to ask. I guess if you hear of Chuck Norris contracting a fatal disease you better get your heart right with God.

And that's all she wrote today, friends. Have a glorious weekend and read more Quick Takes at Conversion Diary.

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