I lean into her chair.
On those days I feel emotional, inadequate, tired, I lean into her chair, gaining strength from her presence. Sometimes she'll pat my hand, my arm, my thigh, but mostly she just sits there letting me invade her space. Though nothing is said, I find assurance and comfort being near a friend who knows me well.
I do it with my husband too. When I'm anxious or uncertain or insecure, I'll lean into him, soaking in his unspoken acceptance and love. No matter how weak I feel, I know where I stand with him. I know he's on my team, faithful, strong, consistent.
But sometimes the chair next to me is empty.
Sometimes I feel alone in a room full of people, my real self cowering within as I listen. I'm not sure those present would give me the benefit of the doubt, would give the grace or mercy I long for when the day's been long or the night too short and my own strength wanes. And I can't overlook the fact that sometimes you have to do things by yourself. What about those days? When the people who give me comfort are not near and I find myself alone, then where do I lean? How can I find the oomph to carry on with no person who believes the best nearby?
Is it possible to lean into God? It sounds weird, really, the idea of leaning into a Presence you cannot see. How do I learn to lean into Him?
Cause me to hear Your loving-kindness in the morning, for on You do I lean and in You do I trust. Cause me to know the way wherein I should walk, for I lift up my inner self to You.
Psalm 143:8 (AMP)
I hear His loving-kindness? How? Do I saturate myself with His Word? Do I listen to Truth in song and watch for His goodness and rest in what I know to be true? Do I lay my concerns before Him and cry it out and wait patiently? Will this bring the same peace I feel leaning into a person I love? Will it make my spirit sigh and my breathing slow? Will it usher in calm?
I say yes. And so on the days I find no one to lean into, on the days the task seems scary and my stomach churns, I will lean into Him. I will believe He loves and accepts me. I will be still and know that He is God. I will remember in quietness and trust is my strength. I will search for gratitude when I don't understand and recite His Word when anxiety swells. I will know He never leaves me.
I will lean into Him.
And He will be there.
How do YOU lean into God?
Photo Credit: ana branca