Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Surrender and Peace

After our oldest moved away to college, I found myself living in anxiety. What if I didn't teach him everything he needed to know? Will he take care of things like he should? What if he fails? What if he doesn't grow up to be a productive adult? How will he make a way for himself? So many questions. So many fears.

It's been a year and a half now and you'd think it would have gotten better, but sadly, not so much. When I realized my fear indicated a lack of trust in God, I knew I was dealing with a spiritual problem.
True freedom from fear consists of totally resigning one’s life into the hands of the Lord.

David Wilkerson
Resigned into God’s Care
(on-line devotional)
I know this to be true in my head, but somehow my heart and stomach don't get the message. I think I've resigned my life into His hands, only to find myself stressing over my son again. It's not right or healthy.

I'm not trusting God.

My fear is not produced by my son's absence. It comes from my own spiritual downfall. How can I remedy the situation?

I admit it to God. I pray for my son. I pray for peace. And every time the fear sneaks up, I remind myself, "TRUST Him. TRUST Him. TRUST Him." The anxiety flees only briefly, so I must practice the surrender over and over and over. Eventually peace will replace worry, strength will take over my weak mama's heart, courage will overtake fear.

The process is not easy, but it is doable. Peace awaits me as I learn to surrender.

You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trust in you.

See what others think of this quote by visiting our host, Debbie, at Heart Choices.


Jaime Kubik said...

We both know I needed to read these words. Thank you again for the sweet reminder.

Karen said...

That was really good, it's amazing how basically we often wind up creating our own fear simply by not trusting God. We don't recognize what we are doing till it happens. I've created many a fears strictly because I wasn't trusting God as I should. Thanks for sharing today, I enjoyed it.

Twinkle Mom @ Sunflower Faith said...

Wonderful post-It is really such a reminder that we can't live one foot trusting our Father and the other foot in fear-it's all or none.

Getting My Words Out said...

What a great reminder. Thank you for sharing yourself with the world! Twinkle is right--having that foot in fear is like putting one foot in the ocean and still hoping not to get wet!

Claudia said...

Thank you for your honesty. It's hard to think that anyone could love our kids more than we do - but God does, and he is faithful.

Debbie said...

Tami, I love your honesty in sharing about your anxiety over your son. I struggle with anxiety in other areas of my life. And you're so right; it's a spiritual problem.

However, isn't God's grace and love truly amazing? He knows our intimate thoughts and feelings and ...loves us anyway.

I've found it to be a moment by moment 'heart choice' to obey the Holy Spirit within me or to indulge my flesh. Some days I do really good and other days are disaster. :)

But God ...

What else can I say?

Blessings and love,

Nic said...

Peace awaits me as I learn to surrender.

That is one lesson that I have learned in these past several months. This quote was a very personal one to me this week and your sentence above, sums up perfectly what I have been taught by God, firsthand.

shopannies said...

as my children head off to college one by one I often think about what life will be like. I will strive to be happy and it seems that I find myself headed into more and more projects to complete by myself