Tuesday, June 08, 2010

Only Getting By

My routine changes up each summer and I'm left feeling out of sorts for a few weeks. I blame it on trying to keep everyone busy, on always having a body in the house, on extra household chores with so many bodies around, but if I'm honest, I can't pin all my summer woes on others. When my daily routine changes, my time with God changes as well. I want to say summer makes it more difficult. Mornings are not the same with one kid going to work at 6:AM, another at 7:15 and the younger ones meandering around sometime after that. I can't get up early any more to find quiet time to myself and everyone's staying up later too. What's a girl to do to find some alone time?

But I've slacked. No one's tying my hands behind my back. No one's sitting on my Bible. No one's forcing me to stay in bed. And lately I've been disappointed in myself, seeing signs of my neglect in my thought process. I am preoccupied with the temporal. I dwell on myself. I am impatient with my kids. I dream of escape.

“Oh Lord, take Your plow to my fallowed ground
Let Your blade dig down to the soil of my soul
For I’ve become dry and dusty, Lord I know there must be
Richer earth lying below

For I’ve been living in Laodicea
And the fire that once burned bright, I’ve let it grow dim
And the very Word I swore that I would die for all has been forgotten
As the world’s become my friend”

Lyrics by Steve Camp
“Living in Laodicea”

I've asked God before to "dig into the soil of my soul," and wow, was it painful. I'm still recovering a few years later, yet I know without His cultivating, I will never be a masterpiece. Without His touch, I will not experience the best of life. Without Him steering my ship I will miss out on great adventures and amazing miracles. Though my heart is deceitful and I can never be sure of my motives, I want God's best more than the world, so I pray for His plowing. I pray for Him to make me more than I am now. I pray for motivation to abide with Him and perseverance to remain when Satan taunts and the world beckons. I pray in the words of David.

Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit to sustain me.

Psalm 51:10-12

Oh Lord, plow away. Make me more than me. Make me faithful and true and devoted. Make me worthy to be used.

See how others interpreted this quote by visiting our host, MiPa, at Miriam Pauline's Monologue.


MiPa said...

Love the prayer. It is easy to become dusty in the changes of routine without intentionally seeking the cultivation from God. Great post.

Karen said...

"No one is sitting on my Bible" that made me chuckle because we act like that don't we. The whole thing was really good with great points to think about.

Claudia said...

Allowing God to dig deep into our soulds is akin to allowing him to discipline us, which is usually not pleasant. But we have to remember that God disciplies those he loves, and he disciplines us to make us stronger.

Praying you will find your groove in this change to summer schedules.