How Do You Handle Emotional Eating?

Today I'm tackling a question from the Help Me With My Dry Spell post.

Julie writes,"I'd like to hear your perspective on emotional eating and conquering it."

Oh boy, sister, do you understand who you're asking about this?!

I was the little girl too heavy to ride the ponies at the amusement park, the college girl who spent a summer wearing jeans because her thighs were too big to be seen in shorts, the expectant mother who cringed at getting on the scale for every prenatal visit, praying she didn't cross a dreaded threshold.

Food has been issue for me my entire life.

Suffice it to say I do NOT feel completely competent to answer this question, nor do I think I have "conquered" anything. But I have made progress through the years, painfully slow progress, but progress nonetheless. Overcoming any habit is a long process I'm still in, but I can share what I've learned so far.

My first big realization came when I noticed I didn't think as I was eating. I'd chide myself AFTER I'd inhaled five cookies. My stomach would rebel with an extra piece of pizza. I'd leave family functions feeling miserable from eating too much. I didn't give a thought to what I stuffed in my face and afterward felt helpless to stop it. I'd pray for better self-control, but continued my bad habits. One day I realized I couldn't expect God to magically give me supreme self-control and do nothing. That's like praying, "Lord, make me an Olympic athlete" and never training. Having greater self-control was going to require something of me. So I started praying differently.

Lord, show me the moment of decision, that moment I decide to eat something for comfort rather than hunger. Stop me and show me the choice.

God is faithful. He started showing me right away. As He did, I felt responsible to choose wisely. Sometimes I did. Sometimes I didn't, but responding to those moments started a training program of sorts for me.

I'm learning to PRACTICE saying no to me. The more I do it, the easier it gets. Not just in the area of food, but in every area of life.

Now before you freak out, let me remind you we already do this. Every mother out there has denied herself sleep to tend to her kids. When a friend needs a sympathetic ear, we put aside what we're doing. We suppress the explosion we'd love to have in the checkout line. We crave the attention of our husband, but give him space when he's busy. We make dinner for our families even when we'd rather have popcorn.

If we can do this on a regular basis in other areas of our lives, we can do it with food, right?

Let me tell you, I am by no means a master. Just the other day, after a phone call stressed me out, I started on dinner and began chomping watermelon chunks as fast as I cut them. I still have work to do, but I have grown. At least now it's fruit instead of M & Ms and leftover pizza. And some days I can deny it all together, not because I'm a self-control guru, but because I've practiced saying no and it gets easier.

When we consider that Jesus told us we are to deny ourselves and take up our crosses daily, the effort seems worth it. In light of that, every little NO to us, every denial of self, begins a practice that brings us closer to God.

Easy? No. Doable? Yes. Over time. With lots of practice. The sooner we start, the sooner we'll see progress.

How do you handle emotional eating?

One NO at a time.

What are your tricks for managing emotional eating?



Photo Credit: awrose

To Choose Wisely

I know myself.

I know if I don't exercise right away in the morning, I won't get it done. If the clock reaches 9:AM and I haven't hit the streets or the gym, it ain't happening, people.

But I also like to start out my day gradually, sitting quietly with a cup of tea in my office, checking emails, Facebook, reading blogs. And I know I need some quiet time with God in prayer, reading His Word, soaking in what it has to say, taking the time to put thoughts to paper to cement what I'm learning.

To accomplish all this by 9:AM requires me to either get up pretty early, which I often do, give something up, or be extremely disciplined, which I'm not. Every day, every single day is a challenge, a battle. A cloudy morning makes my bed more appealing. I oversleep and feel bloaty so I choose the Y instead of my quiet office and Bible. I check Facebook first and get lost in cyberspace. A online bunny trail steals my time.

"I must make a conscious, deliberate, daily choice to sit at His feet, to listen to His Word, to receive His love, to let Him change me, and to pour out my heart’s devotion to Him. When I get into His presence, the whole world looks different.”

A Place of Quiet Rest by Nancy Leigh DeMoss

How can I choose wisely? How can I force myself to make that deliberate decision to do what I know to be best? I remember the prize--the perspective shift I gain in His presence, the peace and direction which only come from Him. I mean, c'mon, which would you rather do, run three miles or find calming guidance for your day? No contest.

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.

1 Corinthians 9:24

To choose wisely, I think of the prize, not the discipline.

Join our host Debbie at Heart Choices for more thoughts on this quote.

The Curse

Childbearing was only the tip of the iceberg. Genesis 3 doesn't come out and say it, but when Adam and Eve bit into that stinkin' piece of fruit, we women inherited raging hormones. Think about it. If all was butterflies and roses before then, Eve certainly didn't do the ugly a few weeks each month like I do, right? That came AFTER the Fall. And what makes childbearing painful? Don't unstable hormones play a part? The curse brought on much worse than tough birthing. The pain of childbearing passes. Hormones keep coming back.

Ugh.

Last week my hormones convinced me life was too hard and everything looked terrible. This week life seems manageable. What made the difference? Yeah, you know what I'm talking about, that is, if you're female! I HATE the mood fluctuations. Shouldn't I be able to be more consistent in my emotions? What kind of weak sap am I if I can't overcome the way I feel? Isn't the Holy Spirit within me? Am I not relying on His power? Am I some kind of wimpy Christian? Does falling victim to fluctuating hormones make me unspiritual?

But see, there he is again, that crafty serpent suggesting I may as well give up. What's that verse about smacking him with our heels? Get kickin', girls, we have truth on our side.

The truth is, though I had a tough week emotionally, I used self-control and didn't rip anybody's head off like I wanted to. My family still got fed (maybe not well, but nobody starved). I was a fairly functional adult if you don't count my little weepy bouts. Though it was tougher, I DID keep it together. I DID.

I think God smiles at that. He knows we women struggle. He knows we must rise above a lot of yuck on some days. He knows we're giving the best we can and even though we don't feel too lovable, He sees us through the eyes of our Savior, Jesus, who made us holy, and says, "Isn't she beautiful?"

It's true the curse makes life harder for us. It presents us with a continual temptation to give into our feelings and I know how easy it is to go there friends. Believe me! But we need to remember WHOSE we are. We are daughters of the Most High God. He has declared us holy and righteous through the blood of Jesus. The battle is already won. We need only to press on, stuff the ugly and endure.

I'm right there with you girls! May He continue to give us strength and self-control. Hang in there, you awesome women, deeply loved by God.

Revisiting WBS

To take a few days to play, I decided to rerun some old posts this week. This particular post came from the first month I started blogging, back on June 29, 2006.

It's official.

I have WBS. I've suspected it for years, but rationalized it away. The symptoms have been there my whole life, but who wants to admit to having such a malady? I didn't want to be treated differently. Some hinted I may have it and my husband has suffered from my condition for decades. Finally we have a diagnosis.

I have Whiny Baby Syndrome.

It was confirmed on Monday while I was having lunch with a couple of friends. No, they didn't tell me I have it. They're much too nice for that. But you know you have Whiny Baby Syndrome when you find yourself getting defensive when pushed for an explanation or when the words coming out of your own mouth suddenly sound stupid. You can be sure there is a problem when pointed questions punch you in the gut and really nice people give you a half-hearted "Mmm" while nodding their heads slowly, their facial expressions resembling people who are not buying the swampland in Florida or your story.

I was sure I had WBS when I heard my recent responses to the question. You know, THE question this time of year, "How's your summer going?" Some sob story came out of me about how my summer had just begun because my husband's production was finally over. One night was especially embarrassing when I told a couple that church "crap" (yes, I actually used that word--OUCH--see how bad I have it?) was biting into our summer. PLEASE! My life is not that bad. (Funny, you'd think I'd know this. One of my kids hears this about his own life nearly daily.) My life is very good, in fact. I have nothing to complain about. I must be a whiny baby.

"Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe" (Philippians 2:14-15).

OW, OW, OW!!! Forgive me if you have had to endure my complaining and thank you for your patience. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to clean up my star (it's not shining so good) and tend to the gaping hole in my head.



Photo Credit: Addrox

Only Getting By

My routine changes up each summer and I'm left feeling out of sorts for a few weeks. I blame it on trying to keep everyone busy, on always having a body in the house, on extra household chores with so many bodies around, but if I'm honest, I can't pin all my summer woes on others. When my daily routine changes, my time with God changes as well. I want to say summer makes it more difficult. Mornings are not the same with one kid going to work at 6:AM, another at 7:15 and the younger ones meandering around sometime after that. I can't get up early any more to find quiet time to myself and everyone's staying up later too. What's a girl to do to find some alone time?

But I've slacked. No one's tying my hands behind my back. No one's sitting on my Bible. No one's forcing me to stay in bed. And lately I've been disappointed in myself, seeing signs of my neglect in my thought process. I am preoccupied with the temporal. I dwell on myself. I am impatient with my kids. I dream of escape.

“Oh Lord, take Your plow to my fallowed ground
Let Your blade dig down to the soil of my soul
For I’ve become dry and dusty, Lord I know there must be
Richer earth lying below

For I’ve been living in Laodicea
And the fire that once burned bright, I’ve let it grow dim
And the very Word I swore that I would die for all has been forgotten
As the world’s become my friend”

Lyrics by Steve Camp
“Living in Laodicea”

I've asked God before to "dig into the soil of my soul," and wow, was it painful. I'm still recovering a few years later, yet I know without His cultivating, I will never be a masterpiece. Without His touch, I will not experience the best of life. Without Him steering my ship I will miss out on great adventures and amazing miracles. Though my heart is deceitful and I can never be sure of my motives, I want God's best more than the world, so I pray for His plowing. I pray for Him to make me more than I am now. I pray for motivation to abide with Him and perseverance to remain when Satan taunts and the world beckons. I pray in the words of David.

Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit to sustain me.

Psalm 51:10-12

Oh Lord, plow away. Make me more than me. Make me faithful and true and devoted. Make me worthy to be used.

See how others interpreted this quote by visiting our host, MiPa, at Miriam Pauline's Monologue.

Lessons Learned From My Computer Fast

I CAN live without my computer.
Who knew?! I surprised myself in how little I missed it.

I use my computer in more ways than I realized.
It's not only for email, blogging and Facebook. I discovered I use it in habitual ways I didn't even think about--checking the weather, scoping out what's playing at the movies, finding out the pollen counts, paying bills, rehearsing music for church, finding recipes, researching for Bible study, googling anything under the sun. No wonder I became dependent upon it.

I waste time on my computer.
Okay, this isn't exactly news. Anybody with a Facebook account understands how much time can be killed on that site alone, but constantly reading any new e-mail that pops in or getting lost in bunny trails while researching steals chunks of time with little effort.

I save time on my computer.
This is not my lame attempt to justify using my beloved machine. Do you know how much faster I can type than write? LOTS faster. It's easier to check for movie showings with a few clicks than turn through pages of the newspaper or look up the phone number to give them a call. I kill many birds with the stone of one e-mail. Any possible information I could want is all at my fingertips.

It's not necessary (or practical) to read every single status change of every Facebook friend.
I like to see what's going on in your lives (or maybe I'm just super nosy), so I often spent a considerable amount of time sifting through Facebook. Sometimes it's relaxing, but often it eats up WAY too much of my time. There are other ways to connect with people, like actually TALKING to them! Don't be offended if I don't comment on all your clever updates. I probably missed it.

There are ways to use my computer more efficiently.
Preparing for this fast, I wrote four blog posts in one day. FOUR! Why can't I do that every week? Why can't I set aside a time for blog writing instead of squeezing it in late at night or early in the morning? Doing the same with Facebook and blog reading may help too.

It's easy to feel out of touch when not online.
On Friday, friends were having fun on Facebook with one of my notes and I was out of the loop. It's like being the little girl who hears about the awesome Saturday night slumber party Monday morning. Now this is not the worst thing to happen, but I realize being online helps me stay connected.

It is possible get more rest and relaxation.
This was my most surprising revelation. Without access to my computer, I couldn't spend evenings writing blog posts or returning emails. Instead, I parked it on my couch (gasp!), read the paper and generally let myself wind down in the evenings. LOVELY! Instead of catching up on Facebook at bedtime, I went to bed! This alone was worth the few days away.

I need to use the tool, not let the tool use me.
My wise friend asked how this fast will change how I use my computer. I hadn't thought about it, but her question made me consider how to take charge of my computer. To that end, I decided some new ground rules were in order:

I will fast from my computer on Sundays.
A day off would be refreshing and allow for the relaxation I found I really liked and for more engaged time with my family. Plus it forces me to be more efficient on the other days.

I will set aside one afternoon a week for blog writing.
It may not be enough to finish the posts for a week, but it will certainly help in freeing up some evening time when my family is home.

I will check my e-mail less frequently.
I usually leave my e-mail on continually, but I've decided to close it even while working on my computer to allow for more focused time. Instead of taking a peek whenever I hear the ding of a new message, I'll check it at set times of the day. A few minutes saved here and there could add up to an hour, you know.

I honestly enjoyed my computer fast and found it well worth the effort. I encourage you to give it a shot if you never have. Some of you e-mailed and said you were going to try it too. What were your observations? What did you learn? How will you use the tool better?

May God continue to teach us. Have a lovely day, friends!



Photo Credit: kodomut

A Computer Fast

Remember last week when I talked about taking a fast?

God and I have nailed down the particulars.

Though many of you will not find your computer a daily necessity, I spend a LOT of time on mine and have decided to take a computer fast. I'm talking no blogging, no blog reading, no Facebook, no checking the weather or my kids' lunch accounts and grades, no e-mails, no communication via a computer whatsoever. Any work I normally do on my computer will conclude Wednesday evening.

Starting April 1 at midnight, my fingers will not touch this keyboard until Easter Sunday morning. I have written blog posts for Thursday and Friday and scheduled them to post automatically, so don't think I'm cheating when they appear. Don't take it personally if you e-mail me and do not receive a response. I will not see them and won't answer any messages until at least Sunday and probably not until Monday.

Some of you are wondering why. What possible benefit is there in shutting off your computer for a few days?

Sadly, I recognize my computer as something which binds me to the world of material things, as Ole Hallesby put it. I need to learn how to use the tool, not let the tool use me. My computer has too much importance in my life. I must remove the obstacle which tempts me to kill my morning moments reading blogs instead of reading my Bible. It's time to find my computer's rightful place in my day to day living. And I need to focus on Holy Week. I need to remember and be grateful, clearing away any distractions from Christ's tremendous sacrifice.

Is it possible to achieve this in a few short days? Maybe not, but should that exclude me from trying?

All to Jesus I surrender
all to Him I freely give.
I will ever love and trust Him.
In His presence daily live.

I surrender all.
I surrender all.
All to Jesus, I surrender.
I surrender all.

Catch you on Monday, friends.



Photo Credit: Lawrence OP

The Practice of Fasting

Fasting.

It's sounds so spiritual, doesn't it?

Let me lower my voice and stand a little taller then before I tell you I've fasted a few times in my life. Yeah, but don't be overly impressed. I felt it necessary, not to call myself spiritual, but because I yearned for a definitive word from God. Once He gave me a completely clear and exhilarating answer, but only once. I realize now the point in fasting is not to gain God's favor or revelations, but to rely on Him in a new way. Depriving yourself of a daily necessity like food forces you into reliance and weakens your spirit into compliance.

So you'll understand my fascination when I ran across this quote.

Fasting is not confined to abstinence from eating and drinking. Fasting really means voluntary abstinence for a time from various necessities of life, such as food, drink, sleep, rest, association with people and so forth. The purpose of such abstinence. . .is to loosen to some degree the ties which bind us to the world of material things and our surroundings as a whole, in order that we may concentrate all our spiritual powers upon the unseen and eternal things.

Ole Hallesby (Norway/1879-1961)

Is it any wonder this quote resides in my brain during Lent? I think not. Right now seems an appropriate time to fast from some necessity of life to concentrate on the unseen, to focus on the eternal, to better prepare myself to celebrate Easter. God and I are still working out the particulars, but I may give it a shot for a few days.

How about you? Do you desire a clearer focus on Christ this Lenten season? What necessity of life are you willing to forgo in order to concentrate on Him?