Friday, September 05, 2014

7 Quick Takes (Volume 291)

Princess Dawdle has been driving for over a week now and I've been proud of my carefree, relaxed attitude about it. Well I was til she announced this:

Princess Dawdle: Don't freak out Mom, but . . .

Do they not understand that "Don't freak out" is not softening the blow, but jump starting the panic?

Princess Dawdle: Don't freak out. Mom, but I almost t-boned a car this morning. I guess I shouldn't eat and drive at the same time yet.

You would have been proud of me. I said NOTHING. Really. I nodded and smiled, choosing to be happy she figured it out for herself. Plus we shouldn't forget the ALMOST.

I will survive these children, I will survive these children, I will survive these children . . .

We spent our Labor Day doing some WAY necessary outside work. Our yard was starting to look like Hobo Joe lived here. The weeds were so high around our trash cans it was hard to take the trash out. But not now. Now we're looking sleek and sexy.

Well, that may be stretching it some. I have noticed Herb is no where to be seen. I think this is because Kevin decided to put our poor bean plants out of their misery and pulled them out. So now I suppose Herb ran off into the sunset with Peaches. Lucky bunnies.

Truly I need a life.

My dryer has made a miraculous recovery. And I didn't even lay hands on it OR anoint it with oil (although maybe that would have been a good idea)! Suddenly the squeal is gone and there's only an occasional chirping noise. A teeny little "chirp" every now and then I can handle. That squeal made me feel like I was in the middle of the Psycho movie all the time.

Ladies Man has a professor that is German. Remember his commentary on Germans this summer? His opinion hasn't changed.

Ladies Man: She's bulldog. You know Germans.

He seems to forget he is at least 3/4 German himself. And really, what makes her so ferocious? Is it the German accent with its vowels that come from the gut and those sharp, staccato T sounds that compel you to stand at attention? Why didn't I employ my German heritage YEARS ago with this kid? I just needed to get my German on and I could have saved myself TONS of frustration.

But then again, I was no pushover. I remember reminding him in his early teens that I could still take him down. And I meant it. And I could have! No sassy big kid is gonna get the best of me! Even though he's got 10 inches and 60 pounds on me, there was one time last year I got so mad at him he honestly looked scared to death.

Hey, maybe I've been using my German all along and didn't know it. Ja!

I gave Drummer Boy his guacamole kit last week and totally pulled a stupid mother move. I opened the lid and explained everything like he was 5 all over again.

Drummer Boy: Yeah, yeah. Mmm hmm.

He's always been good about humoring his mother.

Me: Now, do you know HOW to make guacamole?

Drummer Boy: Yeah, sure.

I was skeptical. I mean, c'mon, his idea of making dinner is running through the nearest drive-thru.

Me: You have a recipe?

Drummer Boy: Yep.

Obviously he wasn't really listening to me. And I wasn't listening to him either as I continued to list all the ingredients he'd need.

Drummer Boy (still humoring me, with that boyish smirk I can't help but love): Mmm hmm.

Me (giving it up): Whatever. You have no idea. Good luck.

He smiled, happy to have me off his back, but probably also a little proud he can still charm his mother. How do these kids do it? It's not like they have irresistible chubby little cheeks anymore or those big expressive eyes that beckon you to hold them. Why do I still melt when my boys grin in my direction? I want to hug the stuffing out of Drama Queen when she sidles up and says, "Hey, Mom." And even though I know she's buttering me up, every time Princess Dawdle ends her text with "Mamasita" I can't help but smile. Sigh. Maybe I am a pushover.

But Drummer Boy, don't get cocky. I'm gonna call you on your guacamole skills. I will. Start practicing.

But here's one of the cruel jokes of motherhood: If he does get it I'll be happy. Even though he proves me wrong. Poop.

For some reason Drama Queen likes to send us snapchats of her food. I don't think it has anything to do with my constant reminders to my kids that they should eat. (Isn't that my job?!) She must imagine me awake at night praying my children aren't wasting away. Or maybe she's trying to rub it in Drummer Boy's face that she actually DOES prepare food. Whatever the case, it makes me smile every time. It's super sweet she wants to stay connected with us in her every day like that. I love it.

I'm also very excited my family has FINALLY gotten into the spirit of the private Boesiger Bunch Facebook page I started years ago. It took a while, but now everybody is adding stuff. There always a new video someone adds for us all to comment on. It's almost like we're watching TV together in the same room.

Who says technology is bad? I like the many avenues it gives me to stay in touch with my kids, even when they're grown.

To round out today's Quick Takes, Princess Dawdle and I would like to wish you a very happy weekend!

And I'm out for today, friends. For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary.

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