Resisting by Enduring

1:08 a.m.

1:57 a.m.

2:41 a.m.

She knew what was happening. Every time she did this, she knew where to place the blame.

Satan.

And yet, she felt helpless. She prayed and dozed off, only to have a random noise wake her and start the cycle again. She whispered Jesus' name in the dark. She interceded for everyone she knew. She meditated on Bible verses. She tried not letting her mind wander.

3:23 a.m.

The thoughts keeping her awake remained. Her heart continued its increased pace.

The Bible says, "Resist the devil and he will flee from you."

She wondered. How do you push back a feeling? How do you put aside anxiety? How do you eliminate worry? How do you resist restlessness?

4:12 a.m.

She wanted God to swoop in and rescue her and sometimes He did, but not always. Often He let her work through it for a while on her own. She understood there would be more nights like this ahead. She would struggle again. Why?

She is learning to endure. It is essential for her growth. It will take practice. It is not fun, not by any means, but it is of great value and necessary. Enduring cultivates humility, strength, grace.

And trust.

When she can't see past the problem, when comfort is elusive, when answers aren't forthcoming, the only thing left is trust.

4:49 a.m.

Morning will come. She will be fine. She will learn. Eventually.

And she'll be better for it.

Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.

1 Peter 5:8-11

Capturing my Attention

This Friday's Quick Takes post are phrases I heard this week which gave me pause, words which touched me and took root.

(1) "Giving thanks, eucharisteo, gives us that: communion."

(Thanks, Ann. You always know how to phrase it.) Have I felt distant from God because I haven't been thankful? It's a tough question to ask yourself.

(2) "Don't give up on God."

Just when I was tired of pressing on, thinking it gets me no where, my Bible study buddies, not knowing where my mind was camped, spoke of God's mercy in their lives, His perfect plans which took time, but become more precious as a result. "Don't give up on God." Indeed.

(3) "You need to change something. What you're doing is not working."

I said this to my daughter regarding a problem she was having, only to wonder later if I need to apply it to my own life. Talk about a log!

(4) "Use your umbrella."

We had to make a decision concerning one of our kids and it was stressing me out. It wasn't anything monumental or of huge consequence, but a mother always wants the best for her kids and I couldn't decide what was best. As I lay awake another night stewing about it, God told me, "You have a husband. I have set husbands up to be umbrellas of protection for their families. Use your umbrella, Tami. Let him help you make the decision. Trust his judgment." While I agonize over some things, my husband can end the matter and move on. So I asked him to. Problem over. If I had relied on him sooner and been willing to accept his solution, I could have saved myself some grief (and gotten WAY more sleep!).

(5) "That was a sacrifice of obedience and it has to be enough."

Something I'd done didn't turn out how I'd hoped and my dear friend reminded me my effort was not lost. Do you think God honors our "yes", even when the result doesn't seem fruitful to us?

(6) "Satan is robbing my joy."

I can see it. My head knows it. I can say it out loud, so why do I fall victim to it? Why does he bother with me? What threat am I? James 4:7 tells us to resist the devil and he will flee. The best way to resist him is refusing to believe his lies. Utter the name of Jesus. Focus on God's Truth. Still he trips me up. I must need the practice in denying him such power.

(7) "Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; He rises to show you compassion. For the Lord is a god of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!"--Isaiah 30:18

Another dear friend reminded me of this verse. It blew a slight breeze into my droopy sail. Blessed are all who wait for Him. Waiting is active and expectant. Waiting hopes for more and trusts in whatever happens. Blessed are all who wait--expect, hope and trust--for Him.


What better way to end a post than with a word of Truth? Have a great weekend, my friends and be sure to visit Jennifer at Conversion Diary to read more Quick Takes.

The Humor of Christian Marriage

She was a bonus in our box of hot chocolate packets, a plastic ornament we could hang on our Christmas tree. She was three inches tall, flat enough to fit through a mail slot and Scandinavian, I believe. We called her Miss Swiss in honor of her "birthplace". She didn't match anything on our tree, so I set her aside with a pile of mail and forgot about her.

But one day I opened my briefcase at work and there she was. I giggled, knowing exactly how she got there and the game was on. The next day, my husband found her in his lunch. He stuck her in my pillowcase. I perched her on his steering wheel. You never knew when Miss Swiss would show up. The suspense built as each hiding place became more and more imaginative, sometimes taking a few days to discover. The game became a battle of creativity and soon much thought had to be put into Miss Swiss' next destination.

One day while folding the laundry, true genius hit me. You know the little flap in the front of men's underwear? Uh huh. She fit perfectly, completely hidden within it. I folded the brief neatly and stuck it on top in his drawer.

The next morning I could hardly contain myself. He got up, took his shower and started shaving with no comment. Had he not found her? How could he not find her? Did he take the wrong pair? I rushed to the bedroom to inspect his drawer, but about the same time, he sauntered into the bedroom tugging on his shorts.

"There's something weird about these underwear." I laughed so hard I couldn't explain the joke. He didn't understand what was so funny until I extracted her for him. In his true, good sport fashion, he joined in the hilarity and we had a really good laugh before heading out for our day.

I don't remember what happened to Miss Swiss after that. Maybe she needed some therapy! And honestly, do you really want to stick the thing anywhere else after it's been in someone's underwear? Most likely she got hidden in a spot so good we never found her.

Take time to be silly with your mate. It takes the hum-drum out of everyday life and relieves the tension that goes along with living together. It's hard to stay mad at a guy who keeps you smiling.

Now, if you'll excuse me, there's a funny bone I need to tickle.

Check out more Marriage Monday posts at Chrysalis.

Another Quick Take

We're back at it in Jennifer's Quick Takes Friday. Check it out and join the fun.

(1) My mom officially retired December 31st. It's hard for me to believe she's of retirement age. She doesn't look it, doesn't act like it. When she talks about doing some senior citizen outings, it sounds weird. She's the woman who brings foreign students to our water park and shows them how to do somersaults under water or gets her groove on at a wedding dance. She's definitely no white haired lady in a red hat. She's proof to me of those adages that change as I get older--60 is the new 50 or 40 or whatever. Congratulations, Mom, and relish this time.

(2) My kids have actually enjoyed each other this holiday season. They've watched movies together, played games together, sat in the same room doing separate things together. It's very satisfying to see them hanging out like this. It makes me think they kind of like each other!

(3) Have you ever noticed there are some people you immediately "click" with and others you have a hard time getting to know? You may both be friendly and try really hard, but conversation is awkward. With others the words and humor flow easily. Some people are at ease, others on edge. Some tell you their life story, some make you painstakingly pull it out of them. Why the difference? I suppose it has to do with personality variations, but I wish I could put my finger on how to relate to people in such a way that makes the getting-to-know-you process easier.

(4) How well do we know people, really? I find myself wondering what a friend may think about while they clean their kitchen or what keeps them awake at night. How do they like their eggs or what's their favorite way to spend a Saturday morning? What childhood memory haunts them or where do they get their motivation to get up in the morning? I have great relationships, but I'm not sure I could answer questions like these concerning them. Maybe the beauty of friendship is taking the time to find out.

(5) Have you noticed how some family stories never die? My poor brothers, who are now 34!, always get the business about their childhood obsession with a remote control truck they wanted for Christmas. Nearly every year someone will chant "Lobo Trucks and Lobo Bags", never letting them forget. Why do some things stick like that?

My kids have a new one on me. We took a trip tubing down the Niobrara River this summer and in the middle of the isolated Nebraska landscape I said, "Welcome to No Man's Land." They burst into laughter and have never let up, often saying it at the weirdest times, sure to bring a chuckle to each other. I don't get it. What's the joke? Oh well, if they're picking on me, they won't turn on each other.

(6) We have one more family Christmas tomorrow before we can officially close Christmas 2008. This celebration is with my extended family on my dad's side--aunts, uncles and cousins, most of which I grew up with. I think it's a pretty unusual thing. We still get together twice a year. My kids know my cousin's kids and some of them actually go to school together too. In this day of transient families, it's a gift I don't take for granted.

(7) My favorite moment of this holiday season involved a night I couldn't sleep (imagine that?). I got up at 3:AM and plugged in the Christmas lights on the tree. I sat on the couch and considered how the Father felt the day Jesus was born. The angels were praising God, but was He happy? Could He really be joyful, knowing what was ahead for His Son? Would He celebrate the beginning of the clock ticking down to the horrible day He had to forsake Christ on the cross and look away? It made me feel sad about Christmas, sad for what God gave up, and incredulous at His great love for humans. Who are we? How can we ever repay such sacrifice?

I didn't mean to go all serious on you there, but those thoughts have taken residence in my head this December. It's difficult to comprehend such love. I pray He continues to give me understanding and enables me to live up to His calling. We are so blessed.

Happy New Year, my friends. May God draw us near this year and bring us fresh insight into Himself.

Hope for the New Year

We've enjoyed a nice break through the holidays. We've stayed plenty busy, visiting with friends and family, having the kids' friends over, celebrating my mom's retirement, getting my daughter ready for her first big dance.

The change in schedule has brought a little reprieve from the daily grind. Our brief hiatus from the normal routine has made me think less about the stresses that go with it.

Until this morning.

I woke up worried about money and my son finding a job and how in the world I'll accomplish everything I want to.

It solidified my theme word for this year--FOCUS. Only six hours into the new year and already Satan's tried to distract me. Oh brother. 2009 could be tough.

Lucky for me, God doesn't leave me hanging. He reminded me this morning He's got it handled.

Be still and know that I am God...

Psalm 46:10

I try, but sometimes I lose sight and feel like He's not answered the prayers, that He's letting us flounder along.

I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:19-23

God has been good to me, very good. I can let Satan rob my joy or I can persevere in hope, believing God will take care of my family.

And my God will supply all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:19

We can do this, friends. We can press on in confidence.

The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit. Amen.

Philippians 4:23

Happy New Year!

The Only Way

It is the only way.

She dabs her eyes through the entire worship service, the pain too fresh. Her husband steals nervous glances at her and she does her best to avoid them. She doesn't understand why God let it happen, this tragedy, one whose healing will take much time. Though she's angry with God, she is here, trying to make some sense of the incomprehensible. There must be a reason. There has to be a bigger plan in place. This can't be all there is. Where are you, God?

He watches, His Spirit hovering close, His heart breaking alongside hers. He knows what it is to lose a son. Will she trust Him though she doesn't understand and hurts so bad? Will she hang on long enough to see the loss lead her and others to something better?

It is the only way.

He makes bad choices. Even though he knows it, he does it anyway, often feeling helpless to stop himself. He is in a rut. Life is always the same, boring, without purpose. How does one find meaning in life? His experience with church has not helped. All he sees is a bunch of people trying to make themselves feel better, a place that wants his money, but doesn't address the emptiness he feels.

A loving God sees. How can He explain the fact that all are hypocrites? How can He show him He understands the hopelessness? When will he accept His love?

It is the only way.

Hurt and heartache abound. People are shackled by forces they aren't even aware of. No matter how hard they try, they can't get it right. There is only one way to make sense of the pain, of the labor of human existence. Father, Son and Holy Spirit settle the matter. Their love for mankind necessitates action. They must know the limitations of the creation, must have a way to prove They can relate. There can be no special favors. The Son must enter as an ordinary man, facing the same struggles, feeling the same sadness and sorrow, experiencing the same temptations, walking the same path.

It is the only way.

A baby is born with no great fanfare. The Son of God comes into the world and many, even those who have been watching for Him, scoff. They, we, want more? He gives and gives, yet people criticize. They doubt and they mock, not only while He is on earth, but for all time. The Gift's power never decreases and is for all men, in any country, situation or time.

God has given everything He has for wayward children, stubborn and ignorant. Is it worth it for the few who will see?

The Holy Trinity, in one accord, says yes.

It is the only way.

So wrap our injured flesh around you,
breathe our air and walk our sod.
Rob our sin and make us holy,
perfect Son of God,
perfect Son of God.

Thank You, Lord. Merry Christmas.

A Bloggy Award?

My blogging buddy, e-Mom, has given me this little award. Hey, babe, thanks! I've been instructed to list five things I'm "addicted" to (wait, is this a trick?) and tag five other fabulous ladies. With a big gulp and slightly racing pulse, I present to you five of my addictions (we all know there's more than five).

1. My husband. Really. Truly. I can't get enough of this guy. I rarely get tired of him. He's funny and smart and dang cute too. It doesn't hurt that he loves me like no other either. I'll keep you, honey!

2. Warm beverages. Tea, coffee, lattes, ghetto cappuccinos, hot apple cider, you name it, I'm up for it. I do my best thinking with a mug of something warm pressed up next to my cheek. Just ask my family how many times they've seen me that way staring at my computer screen.

3. Deep discussions. I can kill so much time discussing life's issues with people. It really turns my crank, if you know what I mean. LOVE it!

4. My laptop. I've got a little refurbished iBook I adore. I thought it was toast this summer, but thankfully found someone who fixed it up for me. It would be easy to spend hours and hours on this thing (okay, true confessions, sometimes I do). I know I could live without it, since I did for a few months, but I don't like to.

5. God's Word. Yep, I did it. I went all spiritual on you. I couldn't help it. I absolutely rely on God's Word to get me through each day. I can't tell you how it has sustained me over the years and guided me through tough times. It is my direct line to God and one I do not take for granted. I hate to think about where or what I would be without the wisdom from the pages in my Bible. Thankfully I became "hooked" on it as a teenager and the attraction has never worn off.

And now I'd like to award (embarrass?) some other blogging friends.

1. Rachelle at Surrendering to God's Gift of Ellie Grace. (Throw us a bone and show us some weaknesses, babe.)

2. Lelia from WRITE FROM THE HEART. (You need something silly to think about for a change.)

3. Kelly from Kelly's Korner. (Your discerning readers want to know.)

4. Emiley from JOY Today. (Give us some juice, lady.)

5. Linda at One Voice. (You can do it, friend. Tell us something shocking.)

Have fun or curse me. Either one.