7 Quick Takes (Volume 212)

1) It was super to have Drummer Boy and Drama Queen home over Thanksgiving weekend. There's nothing quite as heartwarming as having all the chicks in the nest together.

Proving that boys will be boys, on Thanksgiving night I found Drummer Boy and Ladies Man in the "man cave" (aka, the attic) playing, not Xbox as I expected, but with their old Bionicle figures. Later they got the Legos out. The next morning I found this on my dining room table.


They stayed up until 3:30 AM playing Legos! These guys are 22 and 17!

But hey, I could think of a lot worse things they could be doing at that hour.

2) Kevin ran through the Burger King drive-thru and ordered an original chicken sandwich meal with onion rings.

BK Worker: Would you like cheese or bacon on that sandwich?

Kevin: No thanks.

We pulled up to the window and got his food.

Kevin (to me): I'm going healthy today.

Me: Oh yeah?

Kevin: I passed on the cheese.

Kudos, Mr. Healthypants. I'm so proud.

3) Drummer Boy and Drama Queen are headed to Indianapolis today for the Big Ten Championship game. One of the perks of being in the band is fun trips like this. Makes those cold mornings for 6:30 a.m. rehearsals worth it. It's a grueling schedule, though. They travel all day Friday. Leave for a rehearsal Saturday morning at 6, have a few hours of down time in the middle of the day and then it's off for performances before the game around 4:PM. They're gone until after 1:AM Sunday. They sleep a little and get back on the bus for the long ride home.

This is the stuff college is made of, isn't it? I must be getting old. Sounds exhausting to me.

4) I read a book this summer called Born to Run. I bought it thinking it would teach me something about better technique and help me like running. Sadly, it didn't help. I actually gave up running because the people they talk about in this book just LOVE it. They say you should run for the sheer joy of it. They think the longer you go the better. I am not one of them. I apparently was not born to run.

But one positive DID come out of reading this book. The author discusses the issue of shoes a lot. He studies a remote tribe in Mexico who run for like 50-100 miles every day wearing only flat pieces of leather like a sandal. When "professionals" fit them with shoes, they started having more injuries. The theory is that our feet are too comfy. We aren't training them to naturally adapt to the surface they are on. Our shoes prevent our feet from finding the proper footing. I thought it an interesting idea, so I started exercising this summer without my shoes. I was doing the P90X video series with a couple of friends and it was easy to not wear shoes in each others' houses. I noticed my balance got a little better. My arches and knees didn't bother me as much either.

But this fall I started mixing up my exercise routine, working out at the gym and attending jazzercise, and I noticed the knee and arch pain returning. At jazzercise I start with my shoes off, but only make it through a few songs before I kick them off. It just feels better! One morning I was working out at my local YMCA on a new stairmaster/crosstrainer kind of machine and my shoes were bugging me, so I took them off. There were ridges in the foot pedals that kinda smarted at first, but I got used to it and didn't think anything of it until I got home and my foot was killing me. When I checked it out, I found a blood blister the size of a dime!

What is a person to do? Wear shoes and have knee and arch pain or wear no shoes and pulverize the bottom of your feet? I'm at a loss. I wish I could find some athletic shoes with a super thin sole, something that basically protects the skin of your foot. My boys have those toe shoes I've considered getting. I don't know. Any suggestions?

5) The whole family is getting into my Aqua Notes. It's the gift that keeps on giving, I tell you. I found this message left by Drama Queen.


The next day I found this note from Princess Dawdle (formerly known as Miss Innocent One).


Know what I think is weird? How similar their handwriting looks!

6) We had a super fun media frenzy last night at our musical rehearsal (yeah, it was something like that). First a reporter from our local paper came over to interview us about our upcoming Christmas musical. A few moments later a television reporter from Channel 10/11 in Lincoln was down for his own interviews. Both stayed and snapped some pictures and videos of some scenes and will be doing a feature on it.

So look for us in the Beatrice Daily Sun some time in the near future (maybe even today). Then catch us next Wednesday evening on the 6:PM Channel 10/11 newscast for a segment called Lance's journal. They will also be airing it Thursday morning on their 5 and 5:30 AM newscasts.

Don't worry if you miss it. You know next week's Quick Takes will contain links!

7) And speaking of said musical, it's that time of year again. We open in less than a week. If you live nearby, won't you think of coming to see us?


Have a super weekend, friends and read more Quick Takes at Conversion Diary.

Oh, Mr. Fix-it Man!

My bathroom faucet was dripping, or rather, running. I didn't want to spend the money on a plumber or bug my husband with one more thing to do, so I turned off the cold water supply and ta da!, no more dripping. I fixed it! Okay, well sort of. It's not much of a fix when you no longer have cold water, but if you turn on the hot water and use it really fast you can make do.

The real solution would take more time. I need a new faucet, which requires shopping for one and installing it. But first I'd like to replace the scratched up sink underneath the faucet which requires more time and money and frankly I'm already feeling ill about the harried Christmas season and its accompanying price tag.

The situation reminds me of my prayer life. A problem appears. Life takes an unexpected turn. A parent gets sick. A child struggles in school. I can't seem to conquer the same problem I've had forever. I don't know what to do. I know it's out of my control so I pray. I'm very respectful, being sure to add "Your will be done," yet my urgency for relief reveals something. I want the problem taken care of. The sooner the better. What I'm really asking for is a quick fix.

Basically I'm saying to God, "Oh, Mr. Fix-it Man!"

Hmmm . . . something about that sounds a little disrespectful, doesn't it?

Yet I catch myself doing it all the time. I've prayed way more times than I care to admit, "God, can't the solution be easy just this one time?"

I want easy.

God wants permanent.

So when I call out, "Oh, Mr. Fix-it Man!" He knows what's best is a long-term job, a fix-for-good, not a band-aid to cover the wound, but actual healing. He's not shutting off the cold water supply. He's doing it right. And doing it right . . . well, it takes time, something God isn't bound by, but we are.

I want relief. Now, please.

God wants transformation. Forever. That doesn't happen overnight. Or even this year or maybe not even ten years down the road. It may take a while, but it lasts. It's better in the long run. Much better. You get hot AND cold water.

So when I get frustrated that God's time frame is not mine, I remember His fixing is permanent. I hold out hope that He is indeed working. I believe what I cannot see.

And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.

Philippians 1:6

He IS working, friends. He's just doing it right.

Do you get frustrated with how God works? How do you keep the faith?



Photo Credit: geoffeg

7 Quick Takes (Volume 211)

1) I've decided to change Miss Innocent One's name to Princess Dawdle. This girl can make an easy task like fetching socks take twenty minutes. Every morning she wanders around the house getting ready, paying no attention to time at all.

Me: Your ride's going to be here in 15 minutes. What do you need to do?

Princess Dawdle: I just need to get socks and brush my teeth.

She runs upstairs to get socks and ten minutes later I'm launching a search party, finding her in MY bathroom putting on the same makeup she put on downstairs already.

Me: They're going to be here soon.

Princess Dawdle: Yeah.

She peers into the mirror, messing with her hair.

Me: What else do you need to do?

Princess Dawdle: I just got to brush my teeth.

She stops to give me a hug.

Me: Let's get on it, sister!

She starts down the stairs.

Me: Your socks?

Princess Dawdle: Oh yeah.

Pray for our sanity, people.

2) Drummer Boy had his final home game in the Husker drum line last Saturday. One of his friends got this great picture of he and Drama Queen.


I've sure enjoyed watching him over the years and especially this year with both of them doing it. So proud of you guys.

3) While Princess Dawdle and Kevin went to the game last Saturday, Ladies Man and I stayed home. He slept pretty late and decided about 1:30 to make himself some lunch. Not just any lunch, mind you. He made mock chicken fried steak and homemade french fries.


The fries reminded me of the ones my grandma used to make when I was a kid. A taste of childhood, as Ladies Man would say.

4) Our kids still had a half-day of school on Wednesday and Ladies Man was not too happy about it.

Ladies Man: Half the kids are gone already for Thanksgiving. And with the shortened day we don't do anything.

We didn't sympathize with him so he decided to bite the bullet and get to school.

Ladies Man: Well, good bye then, parents. Here I go to waste a day of my life.

I'm perfectly fine with that as long as there are no concussions.

5) And speaking of concussions, look what Ladies Man's aunt brought him on Thanksgiving!


It's a giant gift bag full of bubble wrap! Nice one, Jaime.

6) I am thoroughly enjoying my Aqua Notes. They are super handy as inspiration strikes. I also found a fringe benefit--notes left like this from my husband.


There's something about a "Hey Sexy!" that starts your day off right, you know? I've decided to keep that page on top forever. Love it.

7) We had a fantastic Thanksgiving with my family yesterday. As our kids get older, it's tougher to get the whole gang together, but we did it. I got to meet my nephew's new baby (SO precious!) and Mom actually found a photographer to take family pictures Thanksgiving morning. I can't wait to see them. Taking pictures together reminds you who your tribe is. The bantering that takes place during the posing, the silly inside jokes you tell to get each other to smile, the personalities that react predictably--it just warms my heart. We are a family. We are part of each other. It's not always pretty, but we love each other. We belong to each other. What a beautiful way to spend Thanksgiving.

I hope your holiday was as heartwarming and you enjoy a lazy weekend. Take a little time to read more Quick Takes at Conversion Diary.

Gift Swap

I fell in love with my husband because he was the life of the party, yet could talk deeply for hours. Our first months of dating were characterized by stares from others as we spilled into restaurants, movie theaters, bowling alleys, you name it, bursting with laughter, and once the laughs subsided, staying up very late, very, very late, talking about life and God and our dreams. I liked that he was adventurous, wanting to experience things I wouldn't have dreamed of doing on my own. He was fun, yet deep, silly, yet grounded.

I knew from the beginning we approached the world differently. He was the social half of our pair, the guy who talked forever after church. I was the introvert, the one who did better in smaller, more intimate settings, who felt anxious waiting for him wondering who I should talk to.

He wanted to try new things. I was thankful I had his hand to hold while we did.

He was the big picture guy, the man who thought up grand ideas and described his vision with excitement. I was the practical one throwing water on his parade saying, "But how are you going to do that?"

He was the go-er, the do-er. I was the homebody.

He talked. I listened.

He forged paths. I forged relationships.

He led people. I read them.

But I've noticed, after 26 years "as one," our strengths and gifts are wearing off on each other. The lines between who he is and who I am are blurring. He asks questions that smack of me--"Did you think so-and-so seemed sad today?" I'm the one talking his ear off. At the end of a busy week he longs to retreat home. He's waiting on ME while I chat it up after church.

Much remains the same. There's still laughter and deep talks. He still has to push me to spend money and go on trips and I still need lots of quiet and thinking time, but I love it when I see bit of him in me or me in him. We've maintained our personalities, yet expanded them a bit, incorporating some of the other. We're rubbing off on each other. There's something charming about that, don't you think? We are individuals, yet a unit as well.

Truly we are one.

You know how they say couples who are together for a long time start to look like each other? I wonder if this is part of it. Does it start in their personalities and reactions merging? Does it come from deep within and work its way out? I'm all for it and find the transformation very beautiful.

So my dear Kevin, I'll keep honing my social side as you become more introspective. I'll welcome the changes our union makes in me. I look forward to becoming more alike, to looking more alike. But I refuse to grow a moustache, even though I could. I love you, babe. I'm honored to be associated with you. I'll be by your side forever, but a person's gotta draw a line.

Have you seen your spouse shape your personality? Have you swapped gifts?

Find more thoughts on gifting in marriage by clicking over to Chrysalis for more Marriage Monday posts.

7 Quick Takes (Volume 210)

1) My heart is heavy today for friends who lost their home in a fire early Thursday morning. They got out with only what they wore to bed. They lost two of their cars as well. I keep thinking they will now define their lives as before the fire and after the fire. It's so, so sad. Tragic. Yet I know, and they do too, that God will bring them through this. It's just the in between time that will be tough.

I was impressed with their daughter, one of Miss Innocent One's dearest friends, who posted on Facebook the very same day a picture with Hebrews 13:8 on it, "Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever." She also thanked God, along with everyone who knows her family that they all got out safely. Thank You, Jesus.

Please pray for the Cowell family. Those of you who live in my neck of the woods may donate money or gift cards on their behalf to Christ Community Church, 2727 Lincoln Blvd, Beatrice, NE 68310.

2) We celebrated Ladies Man's 17th birthday on Monday with a family dinner. Something strange happens when all my kids congregate in the same place. Weird things occur. I have no idea what Ladies Man and Drama Queen were trying to do when they asked me to snap pictures.


They vetoed that picture and tried again, but kept cracking up.


Finally, they got the desired result with this. I don't get it. They just look constipated.


Now compare these pictures with the one I got of Miss Innocent One and Drummer Boy.


Which pair do you think required more attention as children? Mmm hmmm.

3) Ladies Man's birthday is a bittersweet day for our family. My dad died on this day seven years ago. Try telling a 10-year-old his grandpa died on his birthday. Thankfully, a wise friend game me an answer. "It's kind of neat that your birthday on earth is Grandpa's birthday in heaven." He loved it and shared it with all his friends at school.

We nearly experienced take two of that emotional day when Kevin's dad had a terrible fall on Miss Innocent One's 10th birthday, landing him in ICU for several days and our family praying he'd make it. He was released seven weeks later and has lasting effects, but we're so thankful to have him.

I'm glad we don't have to live through any more 10th birthdays.

4) Miss Innocent One is going to her first Husker game this weekend with her dad and is pretty stoked about it. In Husker nation, a football game is not just a game. It's an event. You can't say you've lived until you've been to one. We're very happy the weather is supposed to be decent.

5) I watched a friend's kids this week and the 3-year-old nearly gave me a heart attack the first night they stayed. When I went to check on he and his brother early the next morning, he was not in bed. I looked on the floor and saw nothing. I started checking other beds to see if he just got sick of his brother and found him no where. I went downstairs and searched every piece of furniture in the living room, under the dining room table, all over the kitchen and no kid. I started to panic and decided to check bathrooms and tubs to no avail. I checked the locks on the doors praying they were still locked and I hadn't lost him outside! Good grief, I'd had the kid less than 12 hours and I'd already lost him?! Not knowing where else to look I went back to the bedroom where I left him sleeping soundly the night before, hoping to find him in a lump of covers. But he was not there! Finally I noticed his pillow on the floor, stooped to pick it up and found him UNDER the bed, face down, flat on his stomach, sound asleep with no blanket, no pillow, nothing. Though I worried about the little guy sleeping on the floor, I was so relieved I just left him there, figuring if he fell asleep that way he must have been comfy enough.

Wait a minute. If I declare this publicly, does that mean no one will want me to watch their kids? I hope not. I promise I'm trustworthy. I don't lose them. I only let them sleep on the floor under furniture!

6) Wednesday was the Turkey Olympics at youth group. You will recall last year's catastrophe when Ladies Man took a frozen turkey to the head causing a concussion and requiring stitches. The memory must not have been too traumatic for him as he got all decked out for this year's festivities.


The only reason he wore a tutu was because it was red and he was on the red team, a fact he found convenient in case he took another turkey to the head--blood means even more red. Thankfully the night concluded without incident and tutu boy along with his sister came home unscathed.

7) Look what my wonderful friend surprised me with at Bible study!


It's a waterproof pad and pencil for my shower! I haven't tried it yet, but it's in place just waiting for inspiration. Thank you Mary!

That's all I got this Friday, friends. Have a refreshing weekend and check out Conversion Diary for more Quick Takes.

If we just wait long enough . . .

Over the years I prayed a lot about my relationship with my dad. It wasn't bad. It just wasn't . . . well, good. I was never Daddy's Little Girl, or if I was, I never felt it. I could count on him to take care of my car, but we didn't communicate really. Time alone with him felt awkward. We were there for each other, but didn't really know each other. Anything he knew about me came through Mom.

When my parents divorced, it was new territory for us. I had to force myself to call him, and honestly didn't do it like I should have. He was actually more faithful than me. We'd have an uncomfortable ten minute conversation every couple of weeks and that was that.

But I kept praying about it. We both kept trying. Finally, MANY years later, while he was fighting cancer, we were forced together intimately, driving to and from doctors, tests, treatments. We talked like never before, perhaps knowing it was our last chance, and came to an understanding about each other. I think he "got" me before he died. I treasure that time to this day. It took a while, but God answered my prayers.

I've seen similar results in other circumstances. When we were first married, we were so poor, I prayed for God to rescue us. But He had better plans. He taught us to rely on Him and provided everything we needed along the way and slowly gave us more as we followed His lead. I've prayed for my relationship with my brothers for what seems like forever. A big age span has kept us in different life stations for most of our lives, but just this week one called to see what I thought about an issue he was struggling with. I never thought I'd see that happen. We talked freely and comfortably and spiritually. So amazing. I've prayed for things for my kids for YEARS. Some I've seen happen. Some not. But as I watch God's work unfold I am always left amazed at how He's orchestrated it perfectly.

I'd be the first person to admit I get frustrated with God's timing. I want release from the burden NOW, not in ten years. But one thought has encouraged me lately.

Is it just a matter of time before we see God work? If we hang in there long enough, will we be satisfied? Will it make sense some day, either here or in heaven? Are we too impatient? If we just wait long enough, will we see His deliverance, His restoration? Do we give up too easy?

Or do we lack imagination? Do we miss His hand because we're looking for something different? Is He showing Himself, but our human eyes are too dim to notice?

Is ten years too long to wait? Three weeks? Eight months? A lifetime? If we desire God's perfect plan, His masterpiece, shouldn't we give the Master time to work? Would rushing it ruin the beauty? God is not bound by time like we are.

With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day.

He could answer our prayer in 20 years. Or it could be tomorrow.

And so we wait.

For His PERFECT way.

For what is faith if it isn't tested? How do we gain trust by never having to rely on Him? If we keep believing, keep praying, persistently and fervently, is it only a matter of time until God answers? Not until He grants our wishes, but until He answers, with a yes or a no. If we don't lose heart, if we keep coming near, won't the answer come eventually?

I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

Psalm 27:13-14

I am confident that God is working, friends. Even when we can't see it. Time is nothing to Him. We just have to wait. And if we just wait long enough . . .

Perfection.



Photo Credit: Jose Luis Mieza Photography

A Moment Away From the Grind

Sometimes God touches us in a way that leaves us changed. I experienced that recently and this song reminds me of it. There is no way to explain to someone the peace of God's presence. You have to encounter Him for yourself. But I hope pausing to listen to this may give you a glimpse.


There is joy and peace and comfort in surrendering ourselves to an all-powerful God, friends. May He draw You near this day.

7 Quick Takes (Volume 209)

1) Who knew that the morning paper could cause such a fuss? I should know that an outburst from Kevin is only a page away when he flips through it each morning. On the front page this day was an article about the library celebrating literacy week which is wonderful, except that the picture showed a woman reading to a dog.

Kevin: Oh my gosh! Why is she reading to a dog?! How does that promote literacy?!

I wish you could have witnessed it for yourself. The kids and I just looked at each other and smiled, anticipating the diatribe that was sure to follow. He flipped the paper to the continued page and saw a picture of a cat in a kennel and someone holding up a book that had a picture of a cat in a cage on it.

Kevin: What?! What good does that do? We're sympathizing with the cat who's in a cage by showing him another cat in a cage?! And WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH LITERACY?!

To the paper's defense, if you read the article, you saw that the library was teaming up with the Humane Society to draw the attention of kids and perhaps adopt a few animals out at the same time. But that information did nothing to soothe Kevin's angst.

Kevin: If you don't read the article it looks like we're a bunch of idiots in Nebraska.

Ladies Man remembered the last time we got into this discussion.

Ladies Man: Yeah, we read to dogs and ride in cow tanks.

Oh my. I love how ordinary days produce fun in my house.

2) And speaking of Ladies Man, he did a super job playing Perchik in Fiddler on the Roof.
Kevin and I were both misty the first night as he sang his big song. This kid has come SOOOO far. Only a little over a year ago he was too intimidated to talk in church about his experience on the youth group's mission trip and now he's standing on stage singing solos, and doing it well! Wow. God does good, good work.
So, SO proud of you, Ladies Man!

3) I often have moments of sheer brilliance while in the shower. It's very annoying because I can't write them down quickly and sometimes lose them. The other day as I was pondering why God would give me great ideas while it's hard to do anything about them, I figured it out. IN the shower I think I'm a genius, but once I get out and catch a glimpse of the naked truth I remember, "Oh yeah, Tam, you're not all that."

But I still keep a little notebook and pencil nearby. Just in case.

4) Drummer Boy and Drama Queen got to travel with the band to the Michigan State game last weekend. Two days of sixteen hours in a bus would not sound exciting to me, but they had a blast. A highlight of their trip was hanging out with the Michigan State drum line.
The center stick player for Michigan State is a girl and both of my kids were quite impressed with her. Usually the section leader will clue the others into the tempo and cadence by what is called a tap-off, a little ditty played before the others by the section leader. The Michigan State chick did it in an extraordinary way.

Drama Queen: She did a tap-off by BREATHING!

Me: What? How can you do that?

Drama Queen: There was no playing. She breathed and they all came in. You couldn't even hear it. It was SICK!

Sick is code for over-the-top amazing. So there's your great nugget of trivia for the day: The Michigan State drum line is sick.

5) Imagine stopping to eat with six bus loads of hungry college kids. What fast food joint can handle that? They can't, which is why the band stopped at malls to eat. Apparently they had plenty of time eat and look around, because I got this picture text on Sunday.
I love this. She looks so cute. The puppy's not bad either.

6) When I realized I'd said nothing about Miss Innocent One this week, I told her I needed something about her.

Me: Anything funny happen to you this week?

Miss Innocent One: Nah. Kind of a so-so week.

Me: What about your high and low for the week?

She didn't want me to mention her low, but her high was typical for her.

Miss Innocent One: Probably seeing Drummer Boy and Drama Queen at Ladies' Man's musical.

She loves her siblings even though they used to drag her around the house by her feet. Maybe she really did like it as they always said she did. She's already dreading the day Ladies Man graduates and leaves her alone with me and Kevin. Don't worry, babe. I promise we'll give you some entertaining moments. Think of it this way. How many years did you wish to have our full attention? Soon you'll get it. (Too bad you'll be getting it in the years you'd rather have us looking elsewhere.)

7) The Women of Faith conference was incredible. So much learning took place. And hanging out with these girls is pure joy.

And that's enough for you to take in on this beautiful Friday. Go out and enjoy your weekend, friends! Check out Conversion Diary for more Quick Takes.

God, Rachelle and Ann Voskamp

It's always Rachelle's idea. She's the one who wants to go places. She calls it laying a brick in the wall of our friendship. She finds the venues, gets the tickets, is the only one who really knows how to get there.
One year she gave us copies of Mary Beth Chapman's book Choosing to See and then bought tickets for us to attend A Night With the Chapmans later that year. In August of 2011 she purchased tickets for Women of Faith in Omaha and we sat across the aisle from the speakers, close enough that as Patsy Clairmont left the auditorium, Rachelle stopped her and got her book signed. Last fall she gave us copies of Kisses from Katie and joked that our next trip would be to Uganda. Little did any of us know it was a first step in God telling me I would be going there in June of next year. And this summer she gave us copies of Ann Voskamp's beautiful book One Thousand Gifts and journals to start recording our 1000 things to be thankful for. The book and Ann's blog had touched her deeply. "No other writer has moved me like her," she told me in an email recently. So when she noticed Ann's name on the roster for speakers in this year's Women of Faith schedule we knew we had to go. She bought tickets for the November 2-3 conference and for months we anticipated the weekend which fell on her November 2nd birthday.

As we left Friday we were giddy to get out of town. Rachelle played navigator, vetoing the suggested turns of the GPS and we laughed about how we'd never get anywhere without her. When we arrived at the Sprint center and were being directed to our seats, Rachelle kept telling us we weren't going to have seats on the floor this year, but as the workers led, we found ourselves not only on the floor, but closer and closer to the stage. We were shocked to settle into our seats in the 2nd row, only ten feet from the stage, close enough to make eye contact with the speakers! Apparently she was sent the wrong tickets. I thought of it as Happy Birthday Rachelle from God and was thrilled she'd get to see Ann Voskamp up close and personal on Saturday.

But the next morning our beautiful weekend took a horrible turn. Rachelle woke up with a migraine. She couldn't keep anything down to even take ibuprofen. We tried toast and tea, Sprite. As we struggled with how to handle the situation, she convinced us the only thing that would help was time and urged us to go on without her.

We were sick as we left our leader, our dear friend who'd gotten us here and only wanted to see Ann Voskamp. We hoped, but didn't know if she'd feel better in time to hear her favorite author speak.

As each person was introduced I breathed a sigh of relief when it wasn't Ann, thinking there was still hope she could make it, but when beautiful Ann Voskamp came out in her red boots--"Because if you're shaking in your boots, you may as well make them pretty ones"--my heart sank, looking at the empty chair next to me. Ann's words were as wonderful as we knew they would be and as soon as she finished we darted out to get in line to have Rachelle's journal, her life line this summer where she started her list of one thousand things she's thankful for, signed by her favorite author.
I was elected to stand in line since I brought my copy of One Thousand Gifts hoping to get it signed too. Workers rushed people through. They counted heads and only 50 people were allowed the chance to have their book signed by the New York Times best-selling author. "No posed pictures," they said, "If you want a picture you'll have to take it while she's signing your book." One volunteer's sole job was to open books to the appropriate page and lay it on the table in front of her to speed up the process. I opened up Rachelle's journal and laid my open book on top. The volunteer took it and slid it under Ann's nose.

As she signed my book with her standard "All's grace, Ann Voskamp," I leaned into her and wrapped my arm around her waist.

"That bottom book belongs to my friend," I said, "The only reason she wanted to come to this conference was to see you and she's back in our hotel room throwing up. We're just sick about it," I choked.

"Oh, sister, I'm so sorry," she said and joined me in my tears. Preparing to write in Rachelle's journal, she asked, "What is her name?" and began a personal message to her.
As she wrote I couldn't help but continue, "Your book has meant so much to her. She's a farmer's wife too and the drought has about done her in. Your book has really helped her. This is her journal of 1000 things and she's up to 500."

She threw in a special pen and said, "God has big plans for her. You tell her that."

"I know he does," I answered, "She's so brave. She adopted a baby from China and does what God asks even when it's hard."

Ann wrapped me in her arms and whispered in my ear, "You give her a big hug from me and tell her if I could do anything, I would adopt a baby from China!"

Knowing I'd spent more time than I probably should have I thanked her and walked off, all the while thinking, "I just had a very intimate, real, beautiful moment with Ann Voskamp! It should have been Rachelle. It should have been Rachelle!" I just couldn't take it and completely lost it, sobbing into my friend's shoulder. Relaying the story to my other friends brought deep sobs again.

Why me, God? I've spent so much time being jealous of Ann Voskamp and her beautiful writing and Rachelle just adores her. It should have been her. Not me. It should have been her!

If you've read this blog for any amount of time, you know I tend to beat myself up a little bit. Nearly every person I'm close to has told me I am too hard on myself. One of the biggest things I chide myself over is my tendency to be self-centered. I want to do big things for God and sometimes I'm too full of myself. I get jealous of people like Ann Voskamp who write so well, who touch people with their words and write bestsellers. I want to be gifted by God in that way. I struggle with it, a lot. God tells me to be content in what I do, that His big things are not the same as the world's big things and I try to remember that. I press on in what He's given me and ask Him every day to humble me, to show me how to put others first, to forget about me. I feel defeated often, knowing God uses those who are pure in heart and mine has a ways to go.

So I could hardly believe what happened next. After I got myself back together, we returned to the conference where worship was already in progress. We were singing along when an old classic, one of my very favorites came up.

I love You, Lord, and I lift my voice
to worship You, O my soul, rejoice.
Take joy my King, in what You hear.
May it be a sweet, sweet sound in Your ear.

I'm singing away, really worshipping God, tears sliding out, and at the same time asking God, "Me and Ann Voskamp? What was that about? It should have been Rachelle. Why me, Lord? I'm so sad for her, I can hardly take it." More tears welled and escaped. I sang not knowing what else to do and suddenly God put this in my head.

"Tami, you are a writer. You were standing next to a New York times best-selling author and yet all you could think about was how sad you were for Rachelle. You were absolutely broken for your friend. THAT is who you are. Not an egomaniac, not self-centered. You love well. THAT is who you are."

To say I was blown away and humbled is an ENORMOUS understatement. Even as I type this, the tears flow. Rachelle had to miss out for God to tell me that? Rachelle sacrificed so I could know who I am in Christ? Surely God was using the whole day in ways I may never know, but to think that one of them was to speak so sweetly, so clearly, so healing to me . . . there are no words.

But God kept pouring on the goodness. At the lunch break, we decided to head back to the hotel and take Rachelle home. She laid in bed, a wet cloth over her eyes. I sat down next to her and told her of my amazing encounter with Ann.

"She's everything you think she is," I said, "so gracious and sweet and loving." I told her of our conversation, of the special words in her journal, of the pen, the things Ann told me to tell her. She broke down with me and sat up for a hug.

"It should have been you," I sobbed into her shoulder, "I'm so sorry. It should have been you."

And my amazing friend, who is so brave every day of her life raising a child she didn't bear in a stage of life where she could be done with childrearing, the woman who spent that day sick as a dog, missing out on her favorite author, cried into my shoulder and said, "There's a reason it was you." No spite. No bitterness. No jealousy.

Pure grace. Sincere love.

I tell you this story to give you a glimpse of the God of the universe and how intricately, how perfectly, how beautifully He works. He makes good of everything. EVERYTHING! Believe it, my friends. No pain, no heartache, nothing is wasted when He's at the helm. Nothing.

We decided we added more than bricks to the wall of our friendship this weekend. We laid cinder blocks, baby! And now we're thinking we need to take a trip to Canada. We're certain that on her blog Ann Voskamp has invited people to her farm. We may take her up on it.

God is so good, my friends. So good. He is always working, even when it doesn't make sense.

Just ask Rachelle.

7 Quick Takes (Volume 208)

1) It's been a blah week at the Boesiger house. Not a lot going on. Miss Innocent One and Ladies Man had Monday and Tuesday off school for Fall Break. The people I normally meet with were either out of town or had to work. You'd think I would have accomplished tons at my house, but a blast of hormones stole every ounce of motivation I had. I did read a good book. Do I get any credit for that?

2) Drummer Boy has to play pep band gigs all over Lincoln the night before a Husker game. Last weekend the restaurants asked the kids to dress up. The snare drummers trade off carrying a little sock monkey every day, for what reason I'm not sure, so when he found this costume he thought he hit the jackpot.
Totally freaky, huh? There's a grown man in there for crying out loud!

3) Sunday is my wonderful mother's 70th birthday, but you'd never know it. I pray I age as well as she has. I'm completely spoiled and blessed by her. She's taught me a lot about generosity, serving, compassion for others and sacrifice. If I can be half the mother and grandmother she's been, I'll feel good about it.

Thank you, Mom, for all you've done for me and my family. We can't wait to celebrate you. Love you!

4) Miss Innocent One is going on a trip to Washington DC next May. One of the fundraisers the kids are doing is called Trick or Treat for Education. They dress up and go door to door asking for donations for their trip. Miss Innocent One and her friends dressed up as the Three Blind Mice and gave OUT suckers to every place they went. Don't they look cute?
5) Does insomnia run in families? This week both Drama Queen and I, living in separate places, had trouble sleeping. When she lived at home we would get up and play cards to quit thinking and pass some time til we got droopy. I sure missed that this week, well, not really playing cards in the middle of the night, but just missed her. Love you, babe.

6) It's definitely time to put Ladies Man in bubble wrap. He took another major blow to the head while messing around at school the other day and suffered a concussion. Get a load of THIS bump!
Doesn't it make you want to cringe right along WITH him?! Amazingly, he's doing pretty well and the bump has subsided. He's just hoping the concussion won't affect him remembering lines in the school musical and the major bruise that's coming will wait until performances are over.

7) I'm WAY looking forward to this weekend. I'm leaving with a group of friends to attend the Women of Faith conference in Kansas City. We'll be back Saturday in time to see Ladies Man's stage debut in his high school's production of Fiddler on the Roof. Sunday we celebrate my mom's birthday and our family is getting together for a fun dinner celebration. Busy, but super, super fun. It's likely you won't hear much from me next week, however. My gain is your loss or maybe my gain is your gain too.

Should I say, "You're welcome?"

Anyway, that's it for today, friends. Enjoy the people you love and tune into Conversion Diary for more Quick Takes.