Battleground

I rarely do it, because my husband says my mental and emotional health is much better when I don't. But something compelled me that day, something dark and evil and perfectly rotten. I knew it was a bad idea as I did it, but I couldn't stop myself.

I stepped on my scale.

I stepped on my scale in the middle of the afternoon, fully dressed. Yeah, so stupid. Everyone knows the best way to weigh yourself is naked, first thing in the morning, before an ounce of food or drink has passed your lips. But idiotic me didn't have the self-control to wait. I stepped right up there, hoping for the best, but cringing just in case.

And wouldn't you know it, I did NOT like where the needle stopped.

Immediately my heart sank, my mind condemned. Any good feeling I had about myself for the last month evaporated. In the preceding week a stranger at a restaurant told Drama Queen she was lucky to have such a shapely mother, a woman told her coworker I had great legs (although I wonder if she is due for an eye exam), and a guy at the gym asked me what I'd been doing because I looked like I lost a lot of weight. But all these good, encouraging words were nullified the second I saw that number on my scale.

Grrrr.

I know I'm not alone. You've done it too. Every woman knows the familiar angst of reaching and/or maintaining that magic number. Every. Single. One. That includes the chick you're sure would be taken into the next county if a strong wind came up, the babe who looks spectacular in sweats, and the grandma who's more fit than you. Every girl asks, "Do I look fat in these jeans?" We dismiss flattering, sincere remarks because of that stinking number on our scale. Why do we do this to ourselves? Where did we get the idea that our worth is based on our weight?

Why do women with wit and beauty, brains and spiritual insight, women with gorgeous smiles and impressive accomplishments, competent, reliable, dependable women, greatly loved by God and others, feel defeat and shame because of an arbitrary number on their bathroom scale? Why do we give it so much power, significance? Why does it sap our confidence and tell us we're less than we should be?

Does Satan hold a lottery in hell where the winners get to live in someone's bathroom scale, tormenting the owner for a lifetime? Now that's an easy demon gig!

Why can't we see past the illuminated number between our feet? How do we fight this tendency to give our scales this much power? How do we deny this preoccupation? How do we remember what is true and live like we believe it?

Do we start by throwing away our scales, by letting God, not an inanimate object, decide what our perfect body should be? Can we concentrate on being healthy and strong instead of being a certain weight?

I wish I could solve the puzzle and have a checklist to freedom from the tyranny of the bathroom scale. It grieves me to see so many amazing women drug down and immobilized by something so dumb. Satan's playing a good trick on us, girls.

We've got to resist the temptation. We've got to say, "I may not like the number on the scale, but it doesn't define who I am." We need to look in our mirrors and proclaim, "I am a healthy, blessed woman, dearly loved by God." We need to give Satan our heel and shove that stupid scale where the sun don't shine.

The king is enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord.

Psalm 45:11

Let's honor God with our bodies, not our scales.

How will you fight this tendency to give your scale too much power?



Photo Credit: -Paul H-

Every Little No to Me Matters

Then he said to them all: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me."

Luke 9:23

I baked the caramel brownies as a special treat for my family, but for a week they taunted me. At first I let myself have a small taste, but then it was like giving myself permission to do it again. And again. I finally had to say no, not even a bite.

The last thing I wanted to do was run. My list was long and my day full. Yet saying no to the brownies told me I could say no to myself again, so though it was easy to justify skipping it, I ran, denying what I really wanted to do. And afterward I was glad I did. A little sweat worked out some aggression from the day before, put me in a better mood and adjusted my attitude.

I figure every time I deny myself like this moves me one step closer to God. Every denial of self, no matter how small, is a victory and piggybacks to bring more self-control to other areas of life. It's like I'm playing tug of war where my life is the rope, my way (and its accompanying pit) are on one end and God (and His promise of perfection in heaven) is on the other. Each time I deny myself IN ANY AREA OF LIFE I'm pulled closer to God. Each time I do things my way, I'm closer to the pit.

If I swallow the snarky phrase on my tongue instead of uttering it, one pull closer to God. When I push my Bible aside and open my laptop first thing in the morning, closer to the pit. Ignoring the tug on my heart, pit. Forgiving the hurt, God. Dwelling on the negative, pit. Finding the good, God. Loving though I don't feel like it, God. Avoiding the uncomfortable, pit. Obeying though it's scary, God. Giving til it hurts, God. Sacrificing time for the sake of another, God.

If I practice it, if I say no to me often enough, will it get easier? If I gain some small consistency of self-control by saying no to caramel brownies, won't it help me choose wisely when there's more at stake? Will the same self-control kick in when my kids are driving me crazy or I want to tell my husband off or I'm tempted to judge?

Every little NO to us, every denial of self, begins a practice that brings us closer to God.

How can you say NO to you in small ways that may translate into greater self-control?



Photo Credit: Mike Saechang

The Curse

Childbearing was only the tip of the iceberg. Genesis 3 doesn't come out and say it, but when Adam and Eve bit into that stinkin' piece of fruit, we women inherited raging hormones. Think about it. If all was butterflies and roses before then, Eve certainly didn't do the ugly a few weeks each month like I do, right? That came AFTER the Fall. And what makes childbearing painful? Don't unstable hormones play a part? The curse brought on much worse than tough birthing. The pain of childbearing passes. Hormones keep coming back.

Ugh.

Last week my hormones convinced me life was too hard and everything looked terrible. This week life seems manageable. What made the difference? Yeah, you know what I'm talking about, that is, if you're female! I HATE the mood fluctuations. Shouldn't I be able to be more consistent in my emotions? What kind of weak sap am I if I can't overcome the way I feel? Isn't the Holy Spirit within me? Am I not relying on His power? Am I some kind of wimpy Christian? Does falling victim to fluctuating hormones make me unspiritual?

But see, there he is again, that crafty serpent suggesting I may as well give up. What's that verse about smacking him with our heels? Get kickin', girls, we have truth on our side.

The truth is, though I had a tough week emotionally, I used self-control and didn't rip anybody's head off like I wanted to. My family still got fed (maybe not well, but nobody starved). I was a fairly functional adult if you don't count my little weepy bouts. Though it was tougher, I DID keep it together. I DID.

I think God smiles at that. He knows we women struggle. He knows we must rise above a lot of yuck on some days. He knows we're giving the best we can and even though we don't feel too lovable, He sees us through the eyes of our Savior, Jesus, who made us holy, and says, "Isn't she beautiful?"

It's true the curse makes life harder for us. It presents us with a continual temptation to give into our feelings and I know how easy it is to go there friends. Believe me! But we need to remember WHOSE we are. We are daughters of the Most High God. He has declared us holy and righteous through the blood of Jesus. The battle is already won. We need only to press on, stuff the ugly and endure.

I'm right there with you girls! May He continue to give us strength and self-control. Hang in there, you awesome women, deeply loved by God.

How We Beat Temptation

I know all about the despair of overcoming chronic temptation. It is not serious, provided self-offended petulance, annoyance at breaking records, impatience, etc., don't get the upper hand. No amount of falls will really undo us if we keep on picking ourselves up each time. We shall of course be very muddy and tattered children by the time we reach home. But the bathrooms are all ready, the towels put out, and the clean clothes in the airing cupboard. The only fatal thing is to lose one's temper and give it up. It is when we notice the dirt that God is most present in us: it is the very sign of His presence.

C.S. Lewis
Letters of C.S. Lewis
20th January 1942

I'm guilty. People tell me I'm hard on myself. I think of it as humility, but does God see self-pity and egotism? Wallowing in our poor performance and kicking ourselves around for messing up again only serve to distract us from continuing our faith race, from advancing to the next turn.

No amount of falls will undo us if we keep picking ourselves up each time.

How do we beat temptation?

By not giving up. By pressing on. By picking ourselves up and giving it another shot. By keeping our eyes on the finish line.



Photo Credit: Vincent Luigi Molino

I'm Not Taking it Any More

I sat at a table with three successful men. As I listened to their experiences and accomplishments and saw them struggle to engage me in conversation, that sinking feeling, that faint whisper of failure creeped in.

Who are you? What have you done?

I recognized the lie immediately and commenced the battle in my mind. Who defines success? Man looks at the outward appearance. God looks at the heart.

But really, what success have you had? You are so small. Can't anybody do what you do?

It's true I haven't had a full-time job since 1990. I don't earn any money, the worldly measure of worth. I don't have a title or impressive credentials. How do I measure success? Where can I find validation? It's certainly not from my daughter who takes eye rolling to a professional level or from my son who complains he has no clean underwear.

See? You're a nobody.

Sigh.

What have you done? You're nothing compared to these guys.

No. That's not true.

You're not in the same league. You don't stack up with them at all.

No! You're wrong. How do you articulate the value of touching others' lives? I have a file folder full of kind words from others proving what I do matters. My work may not be impressive or outstanding in a worldly sense, but God says it's important.

And the sneaky serpent slithered away.

I'm not taking it any more. I don't have to prove my worth. I only have to align myself with a Holy God. As others list their achievements, I can ponder His mysterious work in my life.

And know my value.

Don't believe the father of lies, my friends. You are not a failure. You are not inept. You are not a nobody. Don't sit back and take his condemnation. You must fight! What are you missing while wallowing in Satan's web of deceit? If you are a committed child of God, you are chosen, holy and dearly loved. You are forgiven and set free from the bondage of proving yourself worthy. You have within you the Holy Spirit, empowering you to achieve anything God may ask.

Don't lay back and accept defeat. What are the devil's lies keeping you from doing? Fight! Don't let him rob your confidence. Don't take it any more.

Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith . . .And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.

1 Peter 5:8-10

Space Cadet?

Another day from the archives. The following post originally appeared December 26, 2006.

I ran across a sentence in the classic book, In His Steps that has been on my mind for days.

"She was never absent-minded, but often thought herself into a condition that left her alone in the midst of a crowd."

I'm guessing those of you who are part of the blogging community find yourself in this "condition" often. Am I right? Aren't blogs an outlet for the mess of thoughts running through our little brains? Don't you blog to get it out and give yourself permission to stop thinking about it? Rest assured you are not alone, my friends. For myself, I consider this thinking "condition" both comforting and disheartening, a gift and a curse.

It is a curse when I find myself thinking over things too much, giving them too much importance in my mind, making a small problem bigger than necessary. Getting lost in my head prevents me from seeing what is before me. I imagine conflicts that aren't there. It can isolate me from others and make me assume too much. At times it can be debilitating when, in my deep thinking, I don't get much else done.

But there are times I find the ability to get lost in my head very soothing. I can be in line at the post office and talk with Jesus as easily as chatting with a friend on the phone. I can wonder about His plans for me and where He's taking me while grocery shopping. In a church service, surrounded by people, I can worship Him without reservation because in my mind, He picks me out and knows my love. Watching a movie can be an intense experience as my wheels spin the whole time, searching for spiritual truth in relation to the human condition. In the midst of a deep conversation, I can flip through my mental lists of Truth and find answers I've been searching for. Being able to be alone in my own mind means I can enter the sanctuary of God at any time and soak in His presence. It is a tremendous gift if used properly (there's a statement and then some!).

And there is the problem. My mind is not always thinking right. It is just as easy to be irritated that the lady in front of me at the post office did not address her packages at home, as it is to have a conversation with Jesus. I am distracted by a roomful of people as I try to sing worship songs. I am more likely to go over my mental to do lists while grocery shopping (and bemoan my many tasks) than to focus on God.

The answer is simple in theory. For me, the only way to fight off the tyranny of my mind is through scripture. It is paramount. When wrong thinking or dwelling hits me, I have to meditate on some truth from the Word.

What do you do? How do you fight off the over analyzing thoughts and the temptation to shut everyone else out? How do you make your thought life pure? How can you be sure you are not merely lost in space?

Pulling Away

“Remember this. When people choose to withdraw far from a fire, the fire continues to give warmth, but they grow cold. When people choose to withdraw far from light, the light continues to be bright in itself but they are in darkness. This is also the case when people withdraw from God.”

~Augustine~

Some people blatantly turn their back on God, thinking they know better. Some dare Him to prove them wrong. Some deny His existence all together.

But most of us don't CHOOSE to withdraw. We don't make a conscious decision to step out of the light. We're slowly pulled away by our own desires, our own ideas. The temptations offered from a clever devil woo us. We may not even sense our departure until we're cold, until the darkness surrounds us.

"Where are You, God?" we plead.

I'm where I've always been. Where are you?

When we hear His voice we realize we've done it again. I don't need to be told I wander from the fire. I know who I am. I feel the cold. I need to be told when I make the first step away.

Lord, show us when we start turning. Stop us as we lift our foot to walk away. Make us aware of our choices that pull us away from You.


Join Kathryn at Expectant Hearts for more on this quote.

Eliminating the Obstacle

When I walk into a crowded room, I see are people who are stronger than me, people who know more, speak articulately and look better, people who laugh freely with others, whose kids seem perfect, people who appear to have mastered the art of adulthood with style and grace. I take in the scene and feel like a little girl. How can a woman of my age still feel so small?

I read in God's Word I am to be a light. I am to go out into the world. I am to be His witness, His ambassador. I'm supposed to represent Christ to the masses. How am I supposed to do that when I feel so inadequate? What is my problem?!

I'm an introvert. Introverts possess many strengths including humility, thoughtfulness, good listening skills, an ability to access a situation accurately, but it is also easy as an introvert to step back, to guard myself. It's tempting to disengage from others and say nothing, making myself stoic and unapproachable.

If I let those weaknesses have their way with me, I am ineffective. My introverted ways are an obstacle to being what God has called me to be.

I can't be a writer if I'm afraid to say anything.

I can't lead Bible study by sitting in the corner soaking in the words of others.

I don't pass along the lessons God teaches by smiling politely and offering nothing.

I have to eliminate the obstacles, those things which cause me to cower from my responsibilities to God. I have to throw off that which hinders.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.

Hebrews 12:1

Victory doesn't happen overnight. It's a process. Over the years God has gently nudged me out of my comfort zone, teaching me to put aside my introverted tendencies. I keep the good that comes from them--the listening skills, the intuition, the empathy--and push aside the fear of sticking my neck out, the fear of exposing too much.

When I throw off my hindrances, Satan can't steal my confidence. He tries. He whispers in my ear all the time, "Why did you say that? You should have kept your big mouth shut. Who do you think you are? People aren't responding to you. You're better off letting someone else handle that."

But greater is He that is in me, than he that is in the world. I must fight Satan. My weaknesses have accompanying strengths God expects me to use for His glory. How can I say no?

God's given us exactly what we need to accomplish His plans, yet Satan convinces us we are not capable. He either tempts us to ignore our gifts or leads us into sin, distracting us from the task at hand. We remain ineffective, carrying around guilt and a nagging sense we don't measure up. But it doesn't have to be this way.

We can fight. We can throw off that which hinders.

What is your obstacle? What's keeping you from running the race marked out for you?

I challenge you to identify it. Fight the fear. Use the power of the Holy Spirit within you to throw it off, to eliminate the obstacle. Be bold enough to be what God intended you to be. Just say no to that aggravating sinful habit. Step out of your comfort zone. Push yourself, trusting God to take you where He's called you. Ignore the flutters in your stomach, your pounding heart and do what God asks.

Throw off everything that hinders.

Eliminate the obstacle.

See what He makes in you.

Just Say No

Chocolate chip cookies cool on my kitchen counter and my taste buds crave a bite.

Just say no.

My kid uses tone and everything in me wants to let him have it.

Just say no.

My husband still hasn't taken care of a job I asked him to do months ago and I want to "remind" him yet again.

Just say no.

I'd rather veg on the couch than write a blog post.

Just say no.

Though I really should go to bed, I want to enjoy the quiet and play on my computer.

Just say no.

My eyes wander and I find myself deficient.

Just say no.

Temptations swirl about. The world tells us "You deserve a break today" and "You're worth it" and "Just Do It."

But when temptations hit we can't "Just Do It."

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

James 4:7

We have to resist.

Just say no.

Three little words. Incomparable training for our will. Using them causes the devil to flee and fills our spiritual reserves, giving us strength to make the next temptation easier to fight.

His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.

2 Peter 1:3-4

We can do it. Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world.

Just say no.

A Tricky Temptation

“We deny Jesus every time we disregard His truth and put ourselves down. That hurts us. We deny Him every time we fail to see our value in Him. That hurts us. We deny Him every time we continue to hang on to our self-condemning thoughts and lies. That hurts us too. And then, it’s as if Jesus turns and looks straight at us with His eyes of love and compassion, and something dawns on us. We have, in a sense, denied our Lord Jesus, and I wonder if that hurts Him.”

by Marilyn Hontz
Shame Lifter

Ow. Ow. Ow.

I'm guilty, VERY guilty, I-have-no-business-writing-this-post guilty.

But I know I'm not alone. Show me any woman and I'll show you someone who struggles with self-image. The problem is not in understanding we are uniquely made in God's image, but in believing it.

My head knows I am "fearfully and wonderfully made," but my mirror reveals dark circles under my wrinkled eyes. My thighs still dimple after countless hours on elliptical machines, exercise bikes, crosstrainers, miles around the track and hundreds of pounds lifted faithfully. My spirit cringes every time I say something stupid. I am smack dab in the middle of my failures every stinkin' moment. I know who I am.

I'm not trying to deny Jesus or tell Him He did a bad job on me.

Or am I?

Oh boy, we've got to stop, ladies. Our self-centered attitudes are hampering His work. What's a woman who loves her God and desperately wants to please Him to do? It's as easy as ABC.

Allow and delight in the gifts of others.
As much as I would like to, I will never be a professional dancer, but I can take pleasure in watching the grace in others. Instead of envying her beautiful skin, I should enjoy the view. Her insightful comments should bring a smile to my face.

Believe the Truth.
I AM fearfully and wonderfully made. He has given me special skills and talents. HE enables me. He is the reason I can do or be anything. I am everything in Him.

Change my focus.
Where am I looking? Am I concentrating on myself or a perfect God who lives in me?

Deny the lies.
Do dark circles and wrinkles, dimpled thighs or mistakes make me unusable or unworthy? Perhaps He shines brighter because of my weaknesses. His glory is clearly seen through our inadequacies.

Eliminate wandering eyes.
God's wasn't looking around when He made me. It isn't fair to myself or others when I try to compare results of His work.

I know this is tough, friends. Believe me, I know (you IRL friends are fully aware of my struggles)! But if we don't work on it, how are we failing God?

Lord, we are guilty. I am guilty. Forgive us. Show us clearly who we are in You. Enable our hearts and minds to believe it. Give us the proper perspective. And use us as You see fit. May we be faithful.


Join our host, Loni, at Writing Canvas for more In "Other" Words.

Learning from Michael

Somewhere in the cavernous dumping grounds I call my basement, there is a Thriller cassette, but I wouldn't say I'm a huge Michael Jackson fan. I've watched his strange transformation over the years with sympathy really, feeling sorry for the pressure he's endured which shaped his bizarre behavior. His was not a normal life.

No matter what you think of him, you have to give the guy credit for being an amazing artist. Eccentric? Yes. Tormented? Yes. Odd? Yes. Gifted? Absolutely YES!

I've watched some of the coverage surrounding his death and am continually impressed with the way the guy could sing as a child. His evolving dance moves were stunning. His ability to meld the singing and dancing together flawlessly was remarkable. There is no denying he was special.

And I am reminded of Jesus' words: "From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked."

Much was given to Michael Jackson, requiring so much of him. His tremendous talent evoked the interest of Satan, who took every opportunity to plague the guy. I imagine his days full of taunting voices, like walking down a prison hallway, with toothless grins of grimy, crazy people reaching out through the bars for him. No wonder he struggled.

Where was God? I can't imagine God gifting someone like that without making Himself seen. There had to be glimpses of Him before Michael's eyes, didn't there? Were the forces of evil that appealing, convincing Michael he didn't need a loving God? Or were they completely distracting?

Honestly, my heart hurts for Michael Jackson and the countless other artists, musicians, actors and writers, who have succumbed to the weight of their astounding abilities. The power of Satan is strong, my friends, so strong.

What does it mean for us? Each of us is uniquely created. We may not be Michael Jackson, but we are equipped with specific gifts. What happens to us if we listen to the tempting voices to do it our own way and ignore God's leading and direction? Will we slowly become tormented souls whose creative brilliance never reaches its full potential as God intended?

It makes me shudder. I don't want to fall prey to the devil's schemes. What about you?



Jesus' words quoted from Luke 12:48.

Photo credit: manfrys