Heroes

One line of the video hit me:

Heroes are made because they are moved . . .

I've never thought of myself as a hero. Does anybody? I spend a lot of my life feeling pretty puny. Yet in the last week, I've had a lot of people, and I mean A LOT, give me good wishes regarding my trip to Uganda, people I know well and some I've never had a conversation with. Some have said things about me I don't understand. They talk about being obedient and ministering to others and having a servant's heart and being a blessing. I thank them and listen, but inside I'm shaking my head. I'm thinking I'm nothing special. Really. I only said YES. There's nothing heroic or extraordinary about that. I said YES. Period.

But when I heard that line in church in Greeley, Colorado this morning, I was stirred. Is it possible for ordinary people like you and me to be heroes?! Are tender hearts the only qualification? Are the people who seek God and listen for His voice and love where they live, are they the real heroes? Does He stamp an invisible S on the chests of those who just say YES?

If so, being a hero is easy. We listen to our hearts. We don't shy away from God's nudges. We love and live in response to Almighty God. It doesn't take a trip to Africa. It takes an open spirit, willing to do whatever He asks.

Heroes are made because they are moved . . .

How is God moving YOU to be a hero?

How Can I Do for You, God?

Not what can I do. How. How can I represent You instead of myself? How can I make everything, every activity, every word, every action about You? How can my puny efforts matter in Your eternity?

How can I do

my family,
my work,
my relationships,
my ministry,
my life

for You?

How can an ordinary woman from Nebraska make a difference in Your kingdom? What can I possibly do that thousands couldn't do better? How do I make this life count?

I know I'm supposed to work at everything with all my heart, "as working for the Lord, not for men." I know I must die to myself. I know I'm not to look for the approval of men. But how does that help me decide the best way to spend the next half hour? How do I work hard at relationships and on my gifts at the same time? How do I fit it all in? How do I figure out what's most important?

All this thinking and planning and evaluating is exhausting and leads me to wonder, really, how can my work, my life, matter that much, both in this world and to You? I am one person in a planet full of people, many more skilled than I.

Yet Your words reverberate in my mind . . . I took you from the ends of the earth, from its farthest corners I called you. I said, "You are my servant"; I have chosen you and have not rejected you.*

I know You spoke these words to the Israelites, Your chosen people, yet they always stir me, as if You're speaking directly to me. I want it to be true for me. Oh, how I want that. Could You really have a special plan for me, for each of Your children? Can You be big enough to accomplish that? I can't comprehend it, but I don't have to.

I just have to believe it.

For when I believe it, I look for You to make it so.

Is it as easy as aligning myself with You, Lord? Is it throwing "off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles," and running "with perseverance the race marked out for us"? Is it merely fixing "our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith"? Is it a matter of coming to You each day and waiting for an assignment?

How can I do for You, God?

I think You tell me to draw near, to come to You with expectation and hope.

And let YOU do it.

Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Humble yourself before the Lord and he will lift you up.

James 4:8, 10

I will believe, Lord. Make it so.



*Isaiah 41:9

How Satan Gets At Good Girls

I'm a good girl.

A girl who always follows the rules. My rebellious phase lasted maybe two months. I get paranoid if someone looks at me funny. I do what I can to keep everyone happy. My conversion story is lackluster. I didn't have to be cleansed from any addiction or horrible past. This girl who did what she was supposed to do, just started living by God's rules one day.

And yet there are days I wonder if following the rules is worth it. Bad stuff still happens to good girls and those they love. God doesn't always answer prayers the way I'd like. There is no perfect life. And when the hard stuff hits, I feel my efforts to be good have been overlooked by God. Why bother? Does it matter? Is there really protection in living His way?

“‎When the truth doesn’t feel true is when we begin to believe it isn’t. Satan’ biggest, most effective weapon against good girls may not be lust or slander or adultery or addiction. It is forgetfulness.”

Emily Freeman
Grace for the Good Girl: Letting Go of the Try-Hard Life

The truth is, when I'm scared or worried or feeling like nothing matters, I've forgotten the goodness of God in my past. I'm listening to Satan's whispers saying, "this can't possibly work out right" and "what's the point of following a God who doesn't reward your faithfulness" and "it doesn't matter what you do when tragedy and trauma hit everyone."

The moment I entertain these thoughts, Satan's sucked me in. I may not be sleeping with my neighbor or doing drugs or cheating on my taxes, but believing those lies is just as harmful.

Not acknowledging God's faithfulness and goodness in the past blasts away at my faith every bit as much, if not MORE, than any other sin I avoid.

I need to remember Who He is and what He's done. When I don't, I leave myself vulnerable for Satan's attack.


As the host for this week's In "Other" Words, I invite you to give us your thoughts on this quote. Link up below.




Photo Credit: CapesTreasures.com

A Reason to Be Faithful

I'm spending TONS of time this summer writing a script for a Christmas musical. I can't tell you how many days my thought process goes awry.

What were you thinking? You can't do this!
No one is going to give a rip about this story.
Does this make any sense at all?
WHO CARES?!
What do you know about writing? You're a math major for crying out loud!
BORING!
You're going to spend all this time and it will be ho hum.
I hate this. I got nothin'. GRRRRRRR.
Is there any way I can get out of this?

Most days I have to make myself sit at my computer. It's easy to ignore it when life presses in or the sun beckons me outside or a book is calling my name or laundry needs to be folded or there's emails to be sent, bills to be paid, people to have coffee with, bathrooms that need cleaning, Facebook begging to be checked, floors to be vacuumed . . . I'll use any excuse to avoid it.

But avoiding it doesn't get the job done and for reasons I don't understand, God has given me this task. I have to do it.

So though I feel inept for the job, though everything in me would rather be doing something else, I sit myself down for a few hours each day and give it a shot. Some days little gets done. Some days I'm surprised at what comes out. But every day I keep in the back of my head the words of David.

To the faithful you show yourself faithful . . .

Psalm 18:25

I must do my part--show up. As I am faithful to do that, God is faithful to bring the ideas. And every year, to my astonishment and delight, a script gets finished.

It's true for other areas of my life where I feel inadequate too. I'm not the best mother in the world, but He fills in my gaps as I keep at it every day. No matter how well I prepare for Bible study, there's always a little twinge of nervousness going in, knowing one comment could send discussion in an unexpected direction. A clarinet player is only as good as the reed on her horn which changes often. I might not know the right thing to say to a hurting person. But in every case, I push through and do it anyway, resting in the assurance of His faithfulness to me as I make myself available. If I do my part, He'll do His.

It takes the pressure off and puts things in perspective. I'm not writing a script. God is. I don't have to make it beautiful. God will. I just have to show up.

To the faithful He shows Himself faithful.

That's a promise to spur us on, to remind us it's not up to us. It tells us to keep going in and be patient and wait for the amazing things God will do. We don't have to do it all. We just do our part.

How can you be faithful to see His faithfulness?


Photo Credit: apollonio&battista

Well Done

The choir, 125 voices strong, swelled behind me. I sat in the orchestra, adding my little part to a divine moment. The back of my neck tingled, my stomach fluttered, and my eyes misted at such glory. At the helm stood my husband, conducting the piece he arranged. Every stitch of music used by over 150 performers came through his hands. Every note, every dynamic marking, every rest were placed by him. And when all his work came together with such beauty, I was overwhelmed.

I know how many hours he spends on his music with no guarantee he'll be compensated for the time. I watch him pore over scores on his laptop every evening. I've been alongside him for decades, witnessing his devotion to honing his skills. I know the jabs he takes for calling himself what he is--a composer. I know how often he's felt misunderstood and devalued.

So in that moment, hearing his music come to glorious life, I could barely contain myself. My husband, doing what he was meant to do, stood tall and strong and smiled widely, reveling in the satisfaction of hearing his work performed so well. Because he ignored popular opinion about what constitutes manliness and followed God's call on his life, he created this grandeur. He let God use him to produce the fodder for my goose bumps.

And this amazingly humble, faithful, creator of beauty is MY husband.

Tears well. Gratitude soars.

It is my honor to be this man's wife, to see him live out true manhood by consistently, quietly using and refining the gifts God's given him. With no words at all he teaches me to press on in what God asks, regardless of who understands.

How I love and admire you, my dear husband. I thank God every single day for you. Your example of perseverance and faithfulness inspires me. Our association makes me better. I am blessed because of you.

And indebted to God for His very good gift.


To read more Thankful Thursday posts, visit Laurie at Women Taking a Stand.

Every Little No to Me Matters

Then he said to them all: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me."

Luke 9:23

I baked the caramel brownies as a special treat for my family, but for a week they taunted me. At first I let myself have a small taste, but then it was like giving myself permission to do it again. And again. I finally had to say no, not even a bite.

The last thing I wanted to do was run. My list was long and my day full. Yet saying no to the brownies told me I could say no to myself again, so though it was easy to justify skipping it, I ran, denying what I really wanted to do. And afterward I was glad I did. A little sweat worked out some aggression from the day before, put me in a better mood and adjusted my attitude.

I figure every time I deny myself like this moves me one step closer to God. Every denial of self, no matter how small, is a victory and piggybacks to bring more self-control to other areas of life. It's like I'm playing tug of war where my life is the rope, my way (and its accompanying pit) are on one end and God (and His promise of perfection in heaven) is on the other. Each time I deny myself IN ANY AREA OF LIFE I'm pulled closer to God. Each time I do things my way, I'm closer to the pit.

If I swallow the snarky phrase on my tongue instead of uttering it, one pull closer to God. When I push my Bible aside and open my laptop first thing in the morning, closer to the pit. Ignoring the tug on my heart, pit. Forgiving the hurt, God. Dwelling on the negative, pit. Finding the good, God. Loving though I don't feel like it, God. Avoiding the uncomfortable, pit. Obeying though it's scary, God. Giving til it hurts, God. Sacrificing time for the sake of another, God.

If I practice it, if I say no to me often enough, will it get easier? If I gain some small consistency of self-control by saying no to caramel brownies, won't it help me choose wisely when there's more at stake? Will the same self-control kick in when my kids are driving me crazy or I want to tell my husband off or I'm tempted to judge?

Every little NO to us, every denial of self, begins a practice that brings us closer to God.

How can you say NO to you in small ways that may translate into greater self-control?



Photo Credit: Mike Saechang

A Slow Burn

I was over half way through my "run" when my pace slowed. I was tired and wanted to quit. Truth be told, I hate running. Every time I do it is a sheer force of my will. I tell myself the torment won't last forever and the end goal is worth the temporary pain. So even though I knew I was going slower, I kept trodding forward, determined to make it back to my house. But I'm not gonna lie. I was FRUSTRATED.

Why am I not getting ANY better at this? I've been at it for nine months. I've tried running inside and outside, shorter distances, longer ones, running several days a week or only a couple. I've even been doing some interval training to boost my speed, but sadly, I'm still plodding along at an embarrassing clip.

So while I trudged down the road, I prayed, asking God what I'm supposed to learn from this.

What is the matter with me, Lord? How can I not be getting any better at this? What am I doing wrong?

His voice was clear, His message unexpected.

Your life has always been a slow, steady burn. It's who you are. Slow and steady wins the race.

I thought of myself at 10, a shy, overweight, awkward little girl, wanting to be more, better, different, scared of anything unfamiliar or new, enjoying the safety of home.

At 15, I was uneasy with boys, aware my physical appearance did not measure up, but blessed with good friendships with girls, trusting God to guide my every day, counting on Him to make me something more than I was.

At 25, I believed God to be the God of miracles, navigated the waters of marriage, accepted the responsibility of being a teacher at a Christian school, shouldered a burden of being perfect knowing how far off the mark I was.

At 30, I was a mother of two, wanting to be less self-conscious, carrying unwanted "baby weight," sensing my need for God in all areas of my life, still feeling there was so much to learn, so many things to surrender to Him, wondering when I'd ever feel like a grown-up.

At 40, I'd built a track record with God and knew I could not go through life without Him, especially while raising four very different children. But I felt battle worn by life and its accompanying pressures, wishing I could find my triumphant walk with Christ.

And now, certain I'd be lost without Him, I still feel inept and little (so very little), but I rely on His Spirit to make me what I'm supposed to be. I accept the things I cannot change and feel Him chipping away at the others. I recognize a committed, dynamic relationship with God is created one choice at a time, one trial at a time, one defining moment after another.

The changes God's touch have wrought on me have not been dramatic, but slow and steady. Put together they form a lifetime transformation, a renewing of a flawed, weak person into a vessel for God to work.

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

Hebrews 12:11

My time may never improve in my running, and I won't ever "arrive" in my faith journey, but I press on, for the scenery along the way is beautiful, refreshing breezes nudge me forward, and the results most definitely overshadow the pain, the suffering, the training.

It will be worth it.

Slow and steady wins the race.

How do you motivate yourself to keep "running?"



Photo Credit: dusanvf

Being FAT

I've spent too much of my life feeling inadequate, unworthy, not good enough. I've kicked myself around for my lack of discipline, my stupid humanness, my weak will. I've wanted to be more, for myself, my husband, my loved ones, but mostly for my God. I've wanted to be better. Yet, throughout my life, God gently whispers encouraging words to keep me going, to tell me I don't have to live up to my own expectations. He says all He needs is a willing heart.

“God is looking for F.A.T. disciples, disciples that are
faithful,
available,
and teachable.
We can’t teach others what we don’t know ourselves.”

Anonymous

He's not looking for perfect or flawless or talented or beautiful. He's looking for someone willing to learn, to take a crack at it, and stick it out over the long haul. I can do that. No special skills required.

I never thought I'd hear myself say it, but I want to be FAT. I want a front row seat to His work. I want to belly up to the God bar and see what He's got going.

What about you? Does being FAT appeal to you? A FAT girl is one who knows she goes in God's strength, not her own. Does that take the pressure off you like it does me? We don't have to be anything, friends.

Just FAT.


Join Karen at In Love W.I.T.H. Jesus for more impressions of this quote.


Photo Credit: Yukari*

Happy Independence Day

This, then, is the state of the union: free and restless, growing and full of hope. So it was in the beginning. So it shall always be, while God is willing, and we are strong enough to keep the faith.

Lyndon B. Johnson

We keep our country strong by keeping the faith. May God grant us a willing spirit to sustain us.

Happy Independence Day!

The Beauty of Faithfulness

True confession time.

There are lots of mornings my computer is more appealing than my Bible. I can't tell you how many times I've been tempted to skip church. Some days I'm a little ticked at God or disappointed in myself and praising Him is tough. I've silently complained on MANY occasions about having to do the right thing, wishing I could do what was easiest instead. There are tons of days I'd rather play on Facebook than write a blog post.

Yet if I don't do what I know to be right, if I neglect God and what He's asked me to do, why would He want to use me? Why would He show Himself to someone who gives Him nothing?

A runner does not finish a marathon without training. A house does not stay clean by itself. A child does not grow over night. A building is not completed in three days. Each take long-term, consistent attention. My relationship with God is no different.

If I want to hone a good relationship with Him, if I want to be included in His work, I cannot expect Him to do all the giving, can I? I cannot shirk my responsibilities, not even for one day.

To the faithful you show yourself faithful . . .

Proverbs 18:25

To the FAITHFUL--the persistent, consistent, trusting--He shows Himself faithful. I have a hard time being strong and self-disciplined and wise, but if I work to be faithful, I can be sure God will bring about changes in me. If I prove I take Him seriously by continually seeking Him, learning about Him, doing what He tells me, He'll show me more of Himself.

And when I'm not sure I have it in me, I remember faithfulness is built one day, one action at a time, in quiet moments alone with Him, in obedience no one sees. It comes as a result of saying yes to Him today, and then doing it again tomorrow and the next day and the next, for the rest of my life.

If I am faithful, I am promised His faithfulness. What is better than that?!

Make it so, Lord, make me faithful.

Now it's your turn. Write a post about this quote and leave your link here.

What If There is No Big Thing?

I've spent a lot of time asking God to show me what my purpose in life is. What is the big thing I'm supposed to accomplish on earth? What did He create me for? What can I do that no one else can?

I suspect you've asked the same questions. We all yearn for significance, for the reason God put us here. We want to know our lives matter. We've all heard stories of people experiencing close calls and we remark, "God must not be done with them yet. He must have a bigger plan."

But what if there's no big thing? What if His only call for you is, "Follow Me?" What if our daily actions, over the course of our lifetimes, produce a beautiful work which may only be significant to God?

What if comforting a hurting child is big in His eyes? Or giving a stranger a ride home? What if He deems feeding your family or listening to a friend as noteworthy? What if consistently producing blog posts without knowing how they're taken, means something to Him? None would qualify any of these activities as a "big thing," yet I wonder how God sees them. Do ordinary works, compiled day after day throughout our years, earn us the coveted "Well done, good and faithful servant" when we get to heaven? Isn't that the biggest thing we could strive toward?

Trusting God means trusting Him to take every single day and make it count in His economy. I don't have to be a best-selling author or award-winning playwright or sought after counselor for my work to be valuable. I only have to be faithful to do what is before me TODAY. He will shape all my todays into something significant.

There is no big thing for each of us, my friends. All He asks is to persist in doing what's before us each day. While this may never seem important to our fellow man (and some days not even to us!), we can be confident God sees. He knows. He makes it matter.

Feeling Used

I'm feeling used.

Unexpected visits or phone calls, impromptu decisions of my own, and regularly scheduled activities fill my days. I'm going from 5:30 in the morning to at least 10:30 at night with little down time. Just as I scratch something off my "to do" list, next week's work requires it to go back on. It never ends. There's always something to do!

But in all the hubbub, I find moments of laughter, of beauty. My mind and spirit are stirred, making me feel fully engaged. In the busyness are opportunities which frighten me, and though I fear messing them up, I've come to recognize the thrill in my inadequacies. If I can't do it, and God asks me to, then He's going to have to step in, providing me with a front row seat to His work.

Sometimes I doubt my significance, my importance. I have no fancy title, no paycheck, nothing that this world values as impressive or noteworthy. But as I'm faithful to complete what God puts before me, as I continue to "go in" and give it my best shot, I feel His power. His POWER! I've sat in rooms with lots of people or only one person or completely alone and sensed His guiding touch. As I am faithful to perform the tasks in my path, no matter how unworthy the world finds them, there is validation and excitement.

I'm feeling used.

And loving it!

What is before you this day, my friend? Do it to the best of your ability. Look for His supernatural strength to guide you in your tasks. Let yourself be used.

And feel the thrill.