Riding the Wave

It was one of those weepy mornings where the slightest bump will cause a tear to spill out. Blasted hormones. Worse yet, it was Sunday and worship tends to bring out my emotional side without any help from nature. Here we go, God, I thought and walked into church.

I didn't start out too good. I looked around the room and for every person I saw, I could name an accompanying sorrow. Despite my desire to push through, I couldn't shake my sadness for what people must endure. I couldn't help but think about the disagreements, misunderstandings and hurt feelings that come with being human. We cause each other pain. It's not on purpose most of the time, but it happens. And it will happen. While singing worship songs, I wished I could get over how life inevitably brings grief. So I sang. I shut my eyes and sang, desperately trying to praise Him in all things.

"How great is our God.
Sing with me how great is our God
that all will see how great, how great is our God."

Sing with me. I thought of all the people in the room who were suffering. Sing with me how great is our God. I thought of those who'd been hurt, some I hurt myself. Forgive me. Can we unite in this one thing? Can we sing together how great is our God? A few tears escaped and I longed for relationships to be easier. Sing with me. Please. Sing with me.

Maybe hormones played a role in what happened next (the Lord knows they were doing a number on me), but I think it was more than that. The Holy Spirit had been hovering all morning.

The song ended and I stood there, not knowing what to do with everything swirling inside me. Trying to find a way out of my emotional pit, I made a beeline to a grieving woman. The special music had been a song sung at her grandson's funeral only a few weeks before. It seemed logical that focusing on someone else could get me out of my funk. Without saying a word, I tapped her on the shoulder and gave her a hug. As I expected, she started to cry, but what I never saw coming was my own response. I absolutely could not hold back the dam and buried my face in her shoulder to hide it. I didn't know her grandson. I'd never even met the kid, but the longer we embraced, the stronger the weeping from both of us. Our bodies trembled in muffled sobbing and I wondered why this was affecting me so much. When I tried to collect myself and pull away, she brought me close again and held me there as if to say, "It's okay, honey. Let it all out." And another wave let loose.

The Holy Spirit whispered, "Let it go, babe. It's okay to feel sad about your loss. You've lost loved ones through death, relationships through life, and Paradise itself, where being human became difficult. Don't wish away your emotions. Cherish them. Let them lead you to Me."

Truly, the Lord is good to all; He has compassion on all He has made.

Even, or perhaps especially, a hormonal mess of a woman.


For more Thankful Thursday posts, visit Sting My Heart.

Pursuing Beauty in His Lap

I see the beautiful women and sigh, wondering if I'll ever be all that. I know I am more than the shell of my body, but cultural influences take a toll on me, deceiving me into thinking a beautiful inside is not enough.

"But remember, for all your adult life you'll be a woman. And how you live your life as a woman, all by yourself before God, is what makes the real you. Nothing on the exterior can touch or change that precious inner sanctuary, your heart, his dwelling place unless you let it. And God, who loves you very much has tailor made all your outer life, your circumstances, your relationships, to pressure you into becoming that beautiful woman he's planned for you to be."

~ Anne Ortlund ~

Nothing escapes God. Nothing in my life has happened by chance. Even my life long struggle with body image is no mistake. It serves His purpose. For when I feel inferior physically, who do I run to? Where do I seek validation when I don't get it from an image conscious society? If I felt I measured up, would I find myself in Jesus' lap so often? And if I wasn't in His lap so often, could I ever find true beauty?

Lord, forgive my superficiality. Remove the scales from my eyes. Grow me up into YOUR image of a truly beautiful woman.

For more impressions of this quote, visit Extravagant Grace.

Of Meds and Memes

One of the perks to being in the blogosphere is "meeting" some great people from a variety of places. Because we can't sit down to coffee and a good conversation, we have to invent ways to encourage and learn more about each other. To that end, a few nice ladies have tagged me this week.

I got a boost from Shelley at Living Beyond Myself when she gave me the Daily Dose Award. Keep in mind she recently colored her hair and perhaps caused her judgment to be skewed from the chemicals, but I am appreciative nonetheless.


This award is given to blogs that you read every day that inspire you. The point of the award is to pass it on. This is a tough one for me. I read a lot of blogs and many inspire me at different times in different ways, including Shelley's. Where does a person begin?! I could give a long list of people who have touched me, but instead I decided to choose just one. Ann of Holy Experience is an amazing writer whose words always make me sigh and dream of simpler days. She has a unique style and vision for life and describes it with beauty. Thank you, Ann, for showing me the beautiful amid the every day.

The second tag came my way from two sources, Heather at Mumblings of a Mommy "Monk" and Angie from The Knightly News. The rules for this meme are:
(1) Link to the person that tagged you.
(2) Post the rules on your blog.
(3) Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.
(4) Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.
(5) Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.

I'm going to make a big assumption and trust that non-important things/habits/quirks are NOT the same as boring and completely uninteresting. I've purposely picked some mundane things so there will be no one screaming "TMI" or "WTMI" (WAY too much information) as my kids occasionally do. So here goes nothing:

(1) When relaxing or going to sleep, I unconsciously rub my feet together, kind of like a person might wring their hands. It seems to be a genetic trait as my dad and some of my kids do it too. My husband had a hard time getting used to it.

(2) I've never considered myself a woman's woman. I don't enjoy craft projects, scrapbooking or shopping.

(3) I have never been able to do a cartwheel or a pull-up. I'm uncoordinated AND a wuss.

(4) One of my worst times of day is the period between school getting out and dinner. In an effort to pump myself up at that time, I often have a cup of tea. Sometimes during tea time, I read a book while cooking dinner.

(5) I go through different food phases, where certain things sound especially good to me and I find myself consuming them more than others. Lately I'm fond of oranges and 90 calorie chocolate chunk granola bars.

(6) I'm a closet rebel who has always followed the rules, but wanted to be bad just once.

And in light of that, I'm going to fulfill my hidden desire. I'm breaking the rules and not tagging anyone else. Go ahead. Commence the booing and hissing. Keep it up and you may force me to get my navel pierced!

Have a great weekend, friends.

No Match for Hope

The world says, "You can't do it." Hope says, "I can do everything through him who gives me strength."

The world says, "You are nothing." Hope says, "You are holy and dearly loved."

The world says, "You're not powerful enough, pretty enough, smart enough, rich enough, sexy enough." Hope says, "The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."

The world says, "There is no way." Hope says, "I am the way and the truth and the life."

The world says, "You are simple and ignorant and foolish." Hope says, "Blessed are you when people insult you because of me. Great is your reward in heaven."

The world says, "Life is meaningless." Hope says, "I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

The world says, "A loving God would never let bad things happen." Hope says, "God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

The world says, "No one cares." Hope says, "I have loved you with an everlasting love and "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you."

The world says, "You don't matter." Hope says, "I took you from the ends of the earth, from its farthest corners I called you. I said, 'You are my servant'; I have chosen you and have not rejected you."

The world says, "You're on your own. You have to look out for yourself. No one's going to do it for you." Hope says, "The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you. He will never leave you nor forsake you."

I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope; Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
Lamentations 3:19-23

Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.
Psalm 34:8

Read more Thankful Thursday posts at Sting My Heart.

The Hard Way to Cultivate Desire

I sat among strangers at a funeral for a 17-year-old boy and felt connected by one word, never uttered.

Why?

The fog of shock, sadness, confusion and fear hovered in the room.

Suddenly, so many things didn't matter any more. My weight or time management or messy closets didn't seem like problems. I doubt the rows of teenagers cared who started in the basketball game or if their biology teacher was a jerk or that they couldn't go out on Saturday night. A "C" in geometry or a messy bedroom didn't seem so important to their parents either.

And though it went unspoken, a common longing nagged at the spirit of us all. This can't be all there is, this life. There MUST be more. There HAS to be more.

Because apart from God, pain makes no sense. It has no purpose. It's only pain. There are no silver linings to our dark clouds if we can't trust a higher power to make something good out of them.

At the end of a really bad day I think, "Oh, God, why do You keep us here? Can't You take us away from all this? Why must we do this?" And I long for more than the earth offers.

"I want deliberately to encourage this mighty longing after God. The lack of it has brought us to our present low estate. The stiff and wooden quality about our religious lives is a result of our lack of holy desire. Complacency is a deadly foe of all spiritual growth. Acute desire must be present or there will be no manifestation of Christ to His people. He waits to be wanted. Too bad that with many of us He waits for long, so very long, in vain."
~A.W.Tozer~

I don't like the idea that it may take pain to spawn desire for God, yet I recognize His mercy in it. He would rather stir our spirits, however hard it may be, than let us flounder in complacency and miss Him. Our part in encouraging this longing is to allow ourselves to feel our pain, letting the disappointments and heartaches and tragedies sink into our souls deep enough that we yearn for something better, Someone better. If we ignore it or push it away, we sweep away our need for rescue as well.

Pain. It's not pleasant or welcome, but if it cultivates in us a need for Him, it's definitely not a waste.


Join Debbie at Chocolate and Coffee for more In "Other" Words posts.

When Words Don't Come Easy

I run into her around town and we both make an effort to be cordial, but we just don't connect. We've tried. We've even spent time one on one, but no matter what we talk about, conversation is hesitant and uneasy. We go to the same church, have common friends, kids the same age, yet our interactions always seem a little forced. Why can't we relate to each other?

He and I live very different lives. Any talking we do is labored. Whenever I ask a question about his life, his answers are very short and he has no clue what to ask me. I love him and feel an obligation to him, but I don't call him. He doesn't call me. We leave each other with assumptions about the other that may or may not be true. I pray for him all the time and kick myself around for not talking to him more.

Why is it so hard to connect with some people? Why do we feel completely at home with some and utterly inept and awkward with others? What makes interaction so difficult? Why do we feel uncomfortable and unsure? Is there a way to make it better?

. . .Whoever loves God must also love his brother.
1 John 4:21

All we can do is love them, not UNDERSTAND them, mind you, not spend every waking minute with them, but LOVE them. So how do you love someone you don't comprehend?

Pray for them.
In the same way praying for your enemies gives you new compassion for them, praying for those who are hard to relate to can soften your heart. Pray for courage to step out of your comfort zone. Pray to see them as God does.

Listen.
Don't assume. Don't interrupt. Don't finish their sentences. Be willing to withstand a little silence as they gather their thoughts. Pay attention to their body language as well as their words. When you don't grasp what they're saying, ask about it, even at the expense of looking stupid yourself. Pay them the highest respect by valuing what they have to say.

Take a risk.
I once sat next to a woman in Bible study whom I had been acquainted with for years. On this particular night she was unable to hold back the tears. She is a strong person and somewhat guarded and though all of us noticed, no one was sure if we should say anything. When my heart couldn't take it any more, I took a big breath and pulled her aside. I had no idea what to say. I didn't want to offend her or make her feel more uncomfortable. To my relief, she appreciated my concern and though I couldn't solve her problem we prayed together. Now, years later, she is one of my dearest friends. It was worth the risk. Pushing aside anxiety and discomfort can lead to a breakthrough in a relationship.

Be vulnerable.
People have all sorts of crazy assumptions about us. Their impressions don't always match up with what is true. Is a particular relationship awkward because of a wrong perception? Let people in on you. Give up some of yourself. I used to bemoan the fact that some of my family didn't know the "real me". When I thought about what was different between them and my close friendships, I realized I didn't often share my thoughts, feelings and dreams with my family, thinking they wouldn't understand. I never gave them a chance. How did I expect them to know me?

Show you care.
It's hard to connect with someone you feel a little stiff with, but your actions can speak volumes. Even though you've never been close, a visit while they or a loved one is in the hospital may touch them. You may not have articulate words to soothe a grieving heart, but I bet they'll remember you were at the funeral. Little gestures make big statements.

Make an effort.
Don't slip into the next aisle at the grocery store to avoid talking. Go out of your way to say hello. You don't have to stand around with your hands in your pockets, staring at the ceiling groping for things to say for ten minutes. Just say hello. Give them a smile. Think of one thing to ask about and expect nothing in return. Pleasant interactions can lessen uneasiness.

It is not realistic nor humanly possible to be fast friends with everyone. God doesn't expect us to have intimate interchanges with all people. He calls us to love. Do you suppose He gives us uncomfortable associations to teach us how to love better?

There is hope for awkward relationships. Pray for them. Listen. Take a risk. Be vulnerable. Show you care. Make an effort. They are simple steps to improve any human tie, however weak or strong. Can you give it a try? Will you practice loving others this way, especially those you have a hard time connecting with?

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love
and of self-discipline.
2 Timothy 1:7

We can do this. Press on in His spirit of love and power.

No Reason for Birthday Blues

Can I let you in on a little secret? Today is my birthday.

The years are starting to sound a little old to me. I am seeing the effects of aging more all the time and honestly, I'm not all that thrilled with it. I got freaked out when I went to renew my driver's license. I looked into the eye machine and it was so blurry I couldn't tell if they were numbers or letters. Thank the Lord for a gracious DMV lady! Last night I had a dream that suddenly the gray hairs in my head tripled. And yesterday I couldn't help but wince a little when my son said with eyebrows raised really high, "You're going to be 44?!" No reservations about growing older here, huh?

But when I think about what age I'd like to be, nothing stands out. I don't want to rush forward and miss something and I can't think of any year I'd want to live over again. I have no desire for the sleepless nights in my 20s and 30s with infants. I don't want to navigate the whole dating thing--it was bad enough the first time! I don't even want to be a carefree kid again, because as I recall, I spent a lot of time trying to figure out how I was supposed to be then. It was a little stressful! I was in the best shape of my life when I was 30 and 31, but I was probably dumber then too. It's a close call, but when choosing between smart or beautiful I'd have to pick smart. It doesn't fade as quickly as beautiful. Plus, my dear husband tells me what he finds most attractive about me is my head (still don't get that one, but hey, I'm not complaining).

So yes, I'm getting older. My hair is getting more gray in it. The wrinkles are getting deeper. I've never been considered "hot" and I've resigned myself to the fact it ain't gonna happen now. But I am happy, truly happy and content in my life. These 44 years have taught me much about life and God's great love and waiting on Him. If I dwell on what I've lost in youth I'll never appreciate what I gain with age.

It seems a little ironic to me that the verse I clung to as a young woman wondering how any man would ever want to marry me is the same verse I cling to as my body decays.

But the Lord said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."
1 Samuel 16:7

There is much more to me than what anyone sees on the outside. Though my exterior fades more every day, my interior, my heart, is getting better all the time thanks to the Spirit's work. Having another birthday means God's not quite done with me yet. He's still fine tuning which means every year I get a bit better. His grace to me and in me is producing something more meaningful and eternal than a youthful appearance.

Oh Lord, thank You for another year, another year to know You better, another year to experience Your surprises, another year to be better than the last. Fulfill Your plan in me. Continue to make me more than I am today.


Read more Thankful Thursday posts at Sting My Heart.

Dreams

Joseph had a dream.

He didn't ask for it. God put it in his head. Though he didn't quite grasp its meaning, it started within him a gnawing curiosity about what God had planned for his life. Naturally he told those closest to him. But they didn't get it. They thought him a little too full of himself and decided to teach him a lesson.

As he was being drug to a foreign land, do you think he thought about that dream?

He remained faithful to what was before him and soon became a household servant. But when he wouldn't compromise himself to fulfill the desire of another, he was burned again, this time sent to prison, accused of something he did not do.

With plenty of time to contemplate in that jail cell, did he remember? Did he ask God what it was all about? Did he try to dismiss it, thinking it a childhood fantasy or impossibility? Or did a flicker of hope remain, motivating him to press on?

Like any of us, he had responsibilities and obligations. Did they cause him to forget? He gave his best and remained faithful in every duty, eventually working his way out of prison, rising in rank until he was second in command only to Pharaoh. Do you think he enjoyed his work? Or at the end of the day did he stare out into the darkness and remember he once had a dream? Did he find satisfaction or did his spirit nag him that there was something more?

And when his brothers bowed before him, begging for his mercy, did he weep not only for lost time, but because he recognized his dream occurring before his very eyes? Did he cry at the faithfulness of God's plan? Did years of wondering what God was doing suddenly make sense? Did it all seem worth it?

We all have dreams. We don't invent them. They are placed by God, not to be taken lightly or discarded. Some are years, many years in the making. We can doubt or we can press ahead with the tasks He has given us, knowing they are part of a perfect plan we cannot fathom.

Did Joseph ever lose sight of his dream? Did he ever think he heard wrong? Did he doubt it would or could happen? Wasn't he human? He chose to give his best where he was and trusted God for the rest. He was faithful and patient.

What is before you this day? What has God asked of you? How will you choose to answer? Will you shrug off the nagging as a childhood fantasy? Or will you dig in and do what is before you, trusting Him to provide the next step?

This earthly life is not for sissies. Imagine how dynamic, how persistent, how hard-working Joseph must have been to rise from slave to ruler. Does God expect less of you? Are you willing to put in years of work, years of toiling over the ordinary to see how God may fulfill your dream? Can you faithfully wait for His timing? Can you push through your doubts as you wait? Can you trust He is working you up to it? Are you willing to put in the grunt work only to wait?

The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it.
1 Thessalonians 5:24

Press on, my friends.

Attila, my daughter

For those of you with burning questions concerning the profundities of life, just give our house a call.

Our fourteen-year-old has all the answers.

And if she doesn't (GASP!), you'll be sure to get a "PSSHT, whatever," which I interpret as meaning "If I don't know it, it ain't worth knowing."

She's a spit fire, this girl, but quite entertaining. She will fight tooth and nail insisting she is right. No backing down. She'll take you to the mat over the most insignificant things.

The other night it was about which couple was getting voted off The Biggest Loser.

"Why are we wasting time on this? We all know who's going home," she hollered, impatient with her parents' use of the television.

We like to think we're teaching her patience and humility, so we egg her on a bit.

"What if you're wrong?" my husband asked.

"I'm not. The yellow team is going home. I know it. Any intelligent person can see that. We can quit now."

"Let's just see."

"PSSHT. You people." Her arms went flying into the air. "You can't admit I'm right."

"What if you're not?"

"I will be. You'll see."

Except she was wasn't. When the last vote was given, the yellow team was there to stay.

"HA!" We all pointed at her and yelled, "HA! Admit it. You were wrong!" (Don't ya just love our merciful spirits?)

"PSSHT, whatever. Obviously those people are idiots. . ." and she went on and on and on.

We looked on in amusement, saying absolutely nothing, spellbound by her ability to spin reality, until she finally stopped and said, "Why are you looking at me like I'm a wild animal or something?"

My husband and I exchanged glances and smirks, but exercised an astounding amount of self-control and resisted every urge to speak. Does she really not see she digs her own grave on these things?

Then there was the time last week she was ranting and raving about. . .I can't even remember what, except we were surely all morons and only she knew the correct answer on any and every subject. Anyone who offered a different opinion was immediately and utterly vilified.

Her older brother, used to her dramatic manner, knew only the right words would shut her up. He very calmly and cooly looked at her and said, "If our family was a reality show, I'm pretty sure everyone would hate you."

Even she couldn't help but laugh, although she tried to turn her head so we wouldn't see.

Her dad actually bailed her out that time saying, "Yeah, but she'd be the reason people would watch."

It's true. We all push the right buttons to see the tiger come out. And occasionally this spunk is exactly what her parents ordered, like the time a boy came up behind her at school, wrapped his arms around her waist and picked her up. She didn't even look to see who it was before she turned around and slapped him across the face. That's my girl!



Sometimes these tumultuous teen years are so aggravating. There are many days I spend a lot of time sighing and/or growling, but how can I not be thankful for a daughter who won't take no guff off of nobody? Besides, I can see through her tough exterior. Inside there's an amazingly perceptive young woman who is a devoted friend and generous big sister. Though she doesn't vocalize it, I see within her a commitment to honesty and doing what is right. Her tenacity keeps her on the right path and for that I am truly thankful.

I love you, babe. You make me smile.


For more thankful Thursday posts, visit Spiritually Unequal Marriage.

Three Things My Daughter Must Know About Her Marital Needs

Want this button?
She took off her earrings and looked in the mirror, asking herself why she felt disappointed. They had a nice evening away from the kids. But one little thing stuck in her craw. He didn't notice the extra effort she took to look pretty tonight. "Don't be stupid," she told herself, "You're just being vain. You know he loves you. It's not that big of a deal." She sighed, shook her head and finished getting ready for bed.

"What's the matter?" he asked as she slipped under the covers.

"Nothing. I'm just tired. Tonight was fun. Thanks." She gave him a quick kiss, rolled over and stared at the opposite wall for about an hour, letting a few tears slide into her pillow before finally falling asleep.

My dear girl, how will he ever know what you need if you don't tell him? Don't you think it a bit unfair? Being your mate does not give him special radar to hone in on your expectations and desires. He wants to make you happy. If you refuse to clue the poor guy in, you don't give him a chance. Though it can be very difficult, scary, and sometimes humiliating to admit your need, doing so is critical if you are serious about growth in your marriage. Vulnerability lends itself to intimacy. Guarding yourself breeds wrong assumptions and mistrust. Force yourself to tell him what you need. You may be surprised and delighted at his response. When you say nothing, you are guaranteed things will not get better.


Though they'd been up for hours, the car she would need tomorrow still sat in the driveway needing repair. She could call the mechanic herself, but she always felt stupid trying to explain the problem. When she lived at home, her dad took care of that stuff. The way he dropped everything to deal with her car issues made her know he loved her though he rarely said it. When her husband put it off, it felt personal and made her nervous.

When she couldn't take it any more she snipped, "Are you going to do something about the car?"

"Yeah, I s'pose we should call somebody, huh?"

She clenched her jaw and tried to slow down her breathing. "Ya think?" was all she could get out politely.

"Do you want to call ___________________?"

She wanted to scream, "I don't want to call ANYBODY! I want YOU to take care of it," but she couldn't get it out. Asking him to handle it made her feel like a child. And what if he wasn't around someday? Lots of women resolve these sorts of things on their own all the time. "You're just being a wimp," she told herself.

Needing your husband to take care of something does not make you weak. It makes you human. Even if you've mentioned it before, he may need to be reminded, kindly. Let him help you. Tell him about it so he CAN. Not only does it relieve your stress and give you a sense of security, but it builds him up when he accomplishes it for you.


She glanced at the clock. "Where is he?" she muttered under her breath. Life had been utter chaos for the last hour and a half. The living room needed to be vacuumed before company arrived that night. One child was having a meltdown about their homework. Another needed something from the store. The youngest had been in and out with the neighbor kids while the oldest was trying to put together a DVD for a school project and had a few questions she couldn't answer. And of course there was the little matter of dinner.

"I could really use some help here, babe," she thought, noticing he was running especially late today.

The moment he entered, she could see the stress on his face. It took about thirty seconds for the dam to break. He needed to talk. Ignoring the whirlwind going on all around them and the growing anxiety within her, she started dinner while he told the story. She turned off the radio to lower the noise level. She shushed the kids when they tried to interrupt. He went on for a while and then wandered into the living room. When she peeked around the corner to see what he was doing, she noticed him dozing in the chair. Taking a deep breath, she enlisted the kids' help, let him sleep and finished dinner.

Marriage requires humility. Sometimes loving someone means sucking it up and putting his needs ahead of your own. If you're focused on yourself, you won't see what he needs, perpetuating a downward spiral that crashes at the bottom. In any relationship there has to be give and take. Sometimes you are the taker, sometimes you are the giver. If you are willing to be the giver, he will return the favor in kind.


Needs. It isn't fair to assume he'll know them. You have to tell him. They are not a sign of weakness. We all have them. He has needs too. Don't be so focused on yourself that you miss the chance to meet his.


Please pop over to Chrysalis to read what else we should be telling our daughters.

What Was THAT About?

The saga of that stinkin' house has officially ended. We finally sold our rental house a few weeks ago. It was very anticlimactic. After seven years of wondering what in the world God was doing with this house, suddenly it was over. Yes, we were relieved, but the lower price we decided to take tempered our excitement.

And it still doesn't make any sense. We didn't make a huge amount of money on it. We didn't change any lives. I can't help but wonder what the point of it all was. The end result was not a huge blessing, but we were never devastated either.

One of my bloggy buddies left a Chuck Swindoll quote in a comment on my last post that resonates with me today. "Will you trust me on this even if I never tell you why?" (Thanks, Living Beyond!) Perhaps that is the lesson.

Trust Me.

Why is that always the lesson for me and why does it seem so unsatisfying? I want a flashier ending, yet I know God doesn't often work like that. I know I have learned TRUST in this whole thing. Many, MANY sleepless nights of worry have taught me to rely on Him and His Word. God always showed Himself faithful. Experiencing His faithfulness and learning to set things in His hands are intangible blessings I too easily overlook. It is enough. For that I can utter a sincere, "Thank You, Lord."

And who knows, though the house is no longer in our hands, we may still cross paths with our last tenants. After a passage I read in Luke today, I'm wondering if the book is really closed on that relationship. It makes me smile to think what God may have up His sleeve. I have learned no matter what the outcome, God is trustworthy and I am loved.

Thank You, Lord.



For more Thankful Thursday posts, visit Lynn at Spiritually Unequal Marriage.

Because You Say So

He was tired. It had been a long night and he'd been humoring the guy for a while now, giving Him a better vantage point to speak from in his boat. Maybe this is why Simon's answer is so beautiful to me. Jesus told him to go to deeper waters and cast his nets one more time and Simon replies,

Master, we've worked hard all night and haven't caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets. (Luke 5:5)

Because You say so. . .

Wow. Do you see it? He admits his doubt in catching anything, yet does what Jesus says anyway. What a display of trust and humility! It reminds me of the "As you wish" from The Princess Bride. No arguments, no agitation, only simple obedience. Because You say so. . .Do you think if I can say it sincerely, not grudgingly, it could bring about real change in my life?

Lord, I will do what you ask because You say so.
I will walk through that dark valley because You say so.
I can do what is awkward and uncomfortable because You say so.
Though it doesn't make sense, though I am tired and afraid, I will do it because You say so.
Even when others don't understand and I'm not sure I have it me, when the road gets long, I will press on because You say so.
Though no one may ever know, I will serve You to the best of my ability because You say so.
Whether I am rewarded or not, because You say so I'm your girl.

I'm not one for New Year's resolutions. They're just one more thing to beat myself up about later. I'm too weak-willed and undisciplined to do anything on my own. But when I see it as a commitment to my gracious God, I am more likely to stick to it. I'm adopting Simon's words as my motto for 2008 and trusting God to work it out for His glory in my life.

Because You say so. . .

Will you say it with me? Will you help me rock our world one yes at a time? Can you push aside the fear, the indecision, the weariness and plod ahead simply because He tells you to?

We are Yours, Lord, and we will impact our little corners of our worlds for You because You say so. May Your will be done. Thank You for a fresh start to serve You anew.

Happy New Year, my friends.