For My Sisters

When I look at you...I see strength and tenacity, perseverance and promise. I pray you keep pressing on, for one day it will all make sense.

When I look at you...I see a tender spirit hidden by a capable exterior. Though many may not notice, your soft side is not lost on me, friend. I love it. Others will too.

When I look at you...my heart hurts with yours and I want to wrap you in my arms to protect you from Satan's blows.

When I look at you...I know gold can come out of the fire.

When I look at you...I am thankful for your smile of approval letting me know I'm on the right track. Your esteem encourages me more than you know.

When I look at you...I cherish your tears knowing they've been hard earned and marvel at God's sustenance to you. If I am ever in your shoes, I know who to emulate.

When I look at you...your dark eyes aren't afraid to meet mine and I feel loved, accepted and respected. I'm not sure you truly understand how much you have helped me, how much you mean to me.

When I look at you...I see a soul God uses mightily though you feel unworthy. Your past does not define who you are today. God knows your heart and has plans for you.

When I look at you...I see a woman who is more afraid to disobey than to leave her comfort zone. Your ability to push past the fear is a testament to us all.

When I look at you...I want to shake you until you believe the truth about yourself.

When I look at you...I know waiting on God is worth it and praise Him you were willing.

When I look at you...the pain is evident, but so is the transforming power of God. Don't mistake the hardship as judgment. Could it be discipline making you into something spectacular?

When I look at you...I face the future with hope, knowing there is beauty in maturing.

When I look at you...I admire your quiet strength, your ability to serve without being seen, your compassion for the suffering of others.

When I look at you...I am sorry for the pain I have caused and wish things were like they used to be when you trusted me. Do you know I pray for you and yours every day?

When I look at you...I am inspired by your determination for truth to prevail and your courage in pushing yourself to make it so.

When I look at you...I am proud to call you sister and certain there is a God.

Hazards of the job

Questions.

Always a barrage of questions and decisions and commotion and stress.

Endless tasks and lists and responsibilities. Racking up the miles on vehicles. Plenty of overtime.

All this and the only title I get is "MOM".

But the payoff. . .(say it together with me now) priceless.

Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him.
Psalms 127:3

Read more Thankful Thursday posts at Sting My Heart.

"Throughout the history of God's people as given to us in the Bible, we see that life is a test. We have before us the option to trust God "no matter what," or to walk away from Him. To walk away from God is to leave the fragments of our dreams in pieces on the floor, but to trust Him is to let God pick up the pieces and make us whole again. When we choose to let Him make us whole again, he will make our lives more beautiful than before."

~ "What I Learned from God While Quilting" by Ruth McHaney Danner & Cristine Bolley~

Even before I shut the door on him, I knew he was only being nice. There was never going to be any more to this relationship than a decent guy being gracious to a shy, self-conscious girl.

I went to my room, shut the door, fell to the floor and cried. And cried. And cried.

"What am I doing wrong, Lord? I always pick the good guys, the ones who love you. Why is it they are never truly interested in me? What are you saying? Why do you keep slamming this door in my face? Are you saying you want me to be single?"

More tears. More silence.

"I don't want to be single, Lord. You know what's in my heart. Please. Don't ask me to do this. You know what I long for. How can you ask me to stay single? And if you do, how can I go against your plan for me and be happy? There is no choice here really, is there? I give it up. I have to give it up. If you want me to stay single, I'll do it. Make me okay with it. Change the desires of my heart."

I laid on the cold floor a long time, until my body was all cried out, until I was so exhausted I nearly fell asleep. I crawled into my bed, fully clothed and whispered, "I give it up, Lord. Just make me happy with it."

About a month later, a guy I knew from high school started dropping by. We had dinner together a few times and hung out occasionally, but I didn't call him my boyfriend. I gave up hope for that. This was just a guy I could really talk to. Our dinners turned into late nights in deep conversation. Our hanging out became more frequent and soon people were asking.

"We're just friends," I would answer adamantly.

But it wasn't long before my friend started taking my hand as we walked on campus or sat at a movie. And saying good bye became awkward, so much so that we set some ground rules (which lasted about a month). Before I even realized what happened, I had fallen in love.

In making me concentrate on a friendship instead of a relationship, God gave me a deeper, more lasting connection. He gave me more than a boyfriend. He gave me a mate, one that has been by my side for over twenty-one years, one who loves me better than I ever imagined.

When I think back to that night on the floor, I often wonder if this relationship would have happened without the willingness to let my desires go. Did my heart need to be broken so He could stitch the pieces of my life together better than I could have done myself?

And if the answer is yes. . .

Is it possible we all miss out on beauty in our lives because we're holding on too tight to our own wants?



Visit Nina at Waiting*For*Grace for more In "Other" Words.

Let me love you

He says, "Come to me, all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest."

Let me love you.

He brings freedom from the burden of sin, from the oppressive requirements of the Law, from the expectations of others.

Let me love you.

He sees all of us and still says, "I have chosen you. You are mine."

Let me love you.

Tears collect in his eyes as he watches us make bad choices and say stupid things, letting us have our way until we reach the inevitable dead end, never saying, "I told you so" but "Aah, here you are. I forgive you. Come."

Let me love you.

He hangs his head in sorrow as we reason away his existence and put ourselves in his rightful place.

Let me love you.

He stretches out his arms only to have those he longs to hold stubbornly walk by.

Let me love you.

He opens himself wide enough to be nailed to a cross.

Let me love you.

He dies every day for people who don't understand, who think they know better, who brush off his ultimate sacrifice as an irrelevant story.

Let me love you.

His scars prove there is more.

Let me love you.

His voice gently calls you.

Let me love you.

His grace says you are worthy.

Let me love you.

Let go.

Let me love you.








Visit Iris for more Thankful Thursday posts.

Whatever it Takes

She knew what she was doing when she prayed the prayer. Her tears revealed her fear, but she said it anyway. She needed help.

"Lord, make me humble. . .whatever it takes."

And God answered her prayer.

Her husband's arms couldn't take away the pain.

Tears were a release, but she hated that they came so easily.

Encouraging words spurred her on, but they didn't heal the hurt.

After many months she heard herself tell a friend, "I'm so tired of feeling alone."

"No matter how many good friends I had, there were aspects of my life I needed to deal with alone - heart issues and attitudes that could not be wrestled with in a Bible study...They had to be confronted by the Holy Spirit in the privacy of my own soul."

from "A Glimpse of Grace" by Mary Forsythe (with Beth Clark)

She could take comfort in one thing: God was at work. She would come out better on the other side. It would be worth it in the end. He was making something of her and for that she was truly thankful.

I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord.

Do not withhold your mercy from me, O Lord; may your love and your truth always protect me. For troubles without number surround me; my sins have overtaken me, and I cannot see. They are more than the hairs of my head, and my heart fails within me. Be pleased, O Lord, to save me; O Lord, come quickly to help me.

But may all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you; may those who love your salvation always say, "The Lord be exalted!"

Psalm 40:1-3, 11-13, 16

For more In "Other" Words, visit Michelle at Because I Love You.

Answering the Call and Accepting the Charges

When I glanced down at the paper and noticed my "occupation" listed as HOMEMAKER, I was glad there was no mirror in the elevator so I didn't have to look at my screwed up face. I love my family, but I'm tired of being identified that way. I know it's not right, but I imagine the people typing in the information or the people reading the form are thinking HOMEMAKER is code for "loser without a job".

Maybe it got to me because I spent the day before feeling frustrated that I wasn't seen as important. When you're a HOMEMAKER, people don't ask you about your "job". They don't find it or you interesting and I find conversations are nearly always centered on someone else. Maybe I'm tired of living in the shadow of others or having everyone else's needs be more important than mine. (Boy, my self-centeredness is making its way front and center--ouch!) Maybe I'm tired of waiting for it to be my turn to shine (or worried it never will be). Or maybe I'm just feeling old (getting a mammogram and glasses in the same week will do that to ya). Most likely I am just plain tired and could use a nap for a good attitude adjustment.

I know the title HOMEMAKER doesn't begin to explain who I am and what I do, just as any title doesn't come close to describing the work of its holder. So I have to ask myself, what is my real problem?

I sat down and talked with God about it and He brought up this:

Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.
Galatians 1:10

I must have an ego problem. I want to be impressive. I want to be recognized. I want the praise of others.

But I want to be used by God more.

There is no room for arrogance and self-centeredness in His work. He knew I'd have a problem with it I guess, and so He gave me this HOMEMAKER gig. And I do like my life, very much. I just need to quit looking around and put my nose to the grindstone in what He's asked of me.

As for those who seemed to be important--whatever they were makes no difference to me; God does not judge by external appearance. . .
Galatians 2:6

I don't have a fancy title or impressive credentials, Lord, but I have You. I am secure in You. Forgive me for playing the comparison game. I don't have to prove myself. I am who I am, Your servant, Your child, Your chosen instrument for the jobs You give me.

By the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. . .
1 Corinthians 15:10

Letting Go, But Holding On

In a few months, he'll live somewhere else. He'll have a life apart from us, two and half hours from home. There will be no more garbage left by the computer, no more hooting and smacking the table to make his siblings jump, no more wandering the house at night when he can't sleep, no more hiding behind corners to see how loud he can make his sister scream.

Our family will never be the same.

I keep telling myself it's part of life. Children grow up and move on. It's what we've been working for his whole life. He's ready for the next thing and frankly I'm a little excited about what my own future may hold. But none of this takes away the ache in my heart. It still feels like loss.

In setting out one of his new pictures, I had to move another of him at five years old, the ring bearer in a wedding, and a little pang shot in my chest. When he decided on a college this week, it seemed more real, and I shed a few tears. He's begun the "lasts" at school--the last homecoming, the last drum line show, the last show choir competition. . .*SIGH*

But God, in His mercy, tells me, "Concentrate on what you WON'T be losing."

I'll still get his phone calls telling me who he is even though I already know. "Hey, Mom, it's Keygan."

Since he's going into the same field as his dad, I'll get to watch them "talk shop."

Because he's never shied away from it at any age, I know he'll always have a hug ready when he sees me.

We'll have an excuse for family road trips.

I won't lose the pride I feel when he does his thing and does it well. The kid knows how to charm even his mother.

I will always and forever be his mom. He will always and forever be my son. No distance, no age can take that away from us.

I may be losing my little boy, but I'm gaining a man, with interesting ideas and a fun sense of humor and a slew of gifts I'm anxious to see God hone. What is there to be upset about?

Thank You, Lord, for the gift of this son and the privilege to watch him grow. Make him into Your vision of what he should be.


For more Thankful Thursday posts, visit Sting My Heart.

Bringing in the Big Gun

I clean the kitchen floor, only to have the kids come home with messy shoes. I get all the laundry done only to have clothes thrown in the hamper at the end of the day. When I work hard at being a good mom, I tend to neglect my friends. If I hone up my Bible study lesson in the morning before study time, my kids get cereal for breakfast. When I have lunch with a friend, I miss my husband at mid day. As soon as I start the dishwasher, someone puts a glass in the sink. When I go out with my husband, I leave my kids home by themselves. As I work on a blog post, the living room stays cluttered.

When I try to do it all I end up an emotional heap at the end of the day, yearning for my bed and quiet, feeling like a failure because I haven't accomplished what I hoped.

I can't do it all. Don't I know it!!

"We leave something incomplete everyday, whether it's an area of housework, school, work, friendship, ministry ~ because we are finite."

~ from The Hidden Art of Homemaking by Edith Schaeffer~

No one had to spell that one out for me!

But I have to keep reminding myself even though I am finite, my God, the One who lives inside me, is not. Though I can only do so much, my God can take my efforts and multiply them like loaves and fish. He promises to make something of my measly human offerings.

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. . .For when I am weak, then I am strong.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Can I get a WHOOP, WHOOP?! There's hope for us, people! We are not left to ourselves. Hallelujah, amen sister, and praise the Lord!

I can't do it all, but when I can't, HE can. And really, don't you think He'd do a better job anyway?

For more impressions of this quote, visit lori at I will take it Lord all You have to give.

Reflecting Truth

She looks in the mirror and sighs. With every exhaled breath her shoulders sag a little more. Her faults are glaring.

The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness.
Matthew 6:22-23

Is she seeing it wrong? Are her eyes bad? Are they preventing her from being who God has created her to be? If all she sees when she looks in the mirror is darkness, is that what comes out? Does wallowing in her weakness snuff out the only light that can make her truly beautiful?

This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth.
1 John 1:5-6

No more walking in the dark. No more.

How can she turn the light on?

She must look for truth. What is TRUE?

The broad hips she hates served her well when bringing new life into the world. The creases in her face and eyes give her character. Each scar and gray hair was earned and represent experience which brings wisdom. Her thick thighs and big feet make her sturdy. Some might think her skinny neck stately and elegant.

But those things don't touch the surface of who she is. There is more to her than what she sees in the mirror, much more. There is compassion behind her eyes. A sincere love for others beats in her chest. She possesses desire and passion for her God. Her mind discerns the truth. This must be her focus.

The woman in the mirror is not the shell appearing in the glass. The woman is God's dearly loved creation, crafted exactly as He planned. If she focuses on the good, on truth, on her value in His eyes, will her body be full of light? Will she then reflect REAL beauty? Is that what it takes to impact her world?



Thank You, Lord, for Truth.

And one more thing: If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, what are you beholding and how is it holding you back?

Press on in truth, my friends.


For more Thankful Thursday posts, visit Sting My Heart.

Is Divorce Ever Right?

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It's complicated.

That's how she listed her marital status.

It's complicated.

There was never a better phrase to describe divorce.

E-mom has asked us to go out on a huge limb to answer this month's Marriage Monday question, "Is Divorce Ever Right?"

I'm swallowing pretty hard right now. This is a sensitive subject which has affected many people and families, including my own. I, IN NO WAY, want to cause grief to anyone who has suffered through the trauma of divorce. No one who has done so has entered into it lightly.

It's complicated.

God knows how tough relationships can be. He knew we'd need some help, so in His mercy He gave us some guidelines to follow. As I see it, and keep in mind I am no theologian, only an ordinary woman who seeks God in His word, scripture gives us three situations where God allows divorce without judgment from Him.

1. An unbelieving spouse wants to leave.

But, if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.
1 Corinthians 7:15

2. Marital unfaithfulness.

Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery."

Matthew 19:8-9

3. You resolve not to remarry or be united with another.

To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.
1 Corinthians 7:10-11

Sin occurs when we are joined with someone else, which God considers adultery, as stated in the Matthew 19 passage, not in the separation of divorce. If you plan to stay single, divorce is not sinful, but this can be a hard resolution to stick to.


And that's it. As unfair as it may seem, these are the only provisions I see in scripture. I understand this doesn't address many, many situations that come up in marriage including abuse, neglect, complacency, disrespect, addictions, negativity and controlling behavior. We live in a fallen world and in a fallen world, we humans mess things up. Satan gets his grimy mitts in there and stirs the pot of our lives, making things more difficult, clouding our perspective and judgment. He causes people to be cruel and insensitive to each other, intolerant, impatient and unloving.

Satan makes it complicated.

Which is why we desperately need direction from God to clear the muddy waters. If you are considering divorce, will you first look to see if your situation fits into these scriptural mandates? If not, will you ask God to show you what your next step is before you take drastic measures?

And if you have been party to divorce, can I tell you God's not mad at you? You don't have to feel guilty or bristle every time the subject comes up. No human being is in any position to condemn you and God doesn't either. He hurts for you. He wants to heal you. He will draw near to you if you will draw near to Him. Tell Him about it. Be restored.

Divorce.

It's complicated.

Indeed.

But God is a God of reconciliation and peace, not disorder. In Him alone will we find hope and restoration.


For more Marriage Monday posts, visit e-Mom at Chrysalis.