Tuesday, March 31, 2009

How well do you know people?

I was a little grouchy or maybe what I should say is irritable, easily agitated, cranky, hypercritical, whiny. Pick whichever one you want and you'd be right. When I displayed it in my home with my friend in the room, it made me take more notice, wondering if she had ever seen this side of me. Was I finally showing her my true colors?

The whole scene got me to thinking. Is it possible to REALLY know someone if you don't live with them? And does God give us relationships with people we don't live with so someone can think well of us, encouraging us along, even when we don't deserve it?

I don't know the answer and I'm not sure there's one to be had, but it kept my little head occupied for a while, plus convicted me about the "freedom" I use with my family to express myself. Perhaps it's not always necessary and I need to use more discretion with what comes out of my mouth, even in the comfort of my own home.

Ouch.

I hear ya, Lord.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Quick Takes Friday



1) All but one of my kids have been sick this week, running low-grade fevers, coughing and coughing and coughing. It makes feel the need to stay home more and keep an eye on them and I must admit, it's been nice being here with a little change in my normal schedule. If only I was feeling as inspired to do some cleaning while I was here. . .

2) Last weekend our church hosted The Homestead Choral Festival. Our guest clinician was Mark Hayes. Mr. Hayes is one of the most prolific composer/arrangers in our country. He has over 600 published works which are found in both church and academic settings. He is an accomplished pianist as well with many recordings and publications. If you've ever been in a choir or play the piano, his is a name you know. He did a superb job with the mass choir and performed a few piano pieces for us as well. I found him to be both extremely talented and gracious. Here's a picture of Mr. Hayes, my son, Keygan, me and my husband, Kevin.


The mass choir included people of many denominations--Methodist, Presbyterian, Lutheran, Missionary Alliance, Church of Christ, Reformed, and our own non-denominational body. Age groups spanned high schoolers through senior citizens. It's a great thing to see such a diverse bunch of people come together for one purpose, crafting beautiful praise for God.

It was a wonderful experience, but the best part of the day was watching my husband. More than once I had to blink back tears seeing him enjoy himself so much. While he directed our church choir he looked like he was in heaven, nearly bursting with joy, on the verge of tears himself. He loved every second of the day and especially the concert. It made me so happy to see him revel in the fruit of his labor.

3) My family is a HUGE fan of The Office. This show is funny and creative and sometimes a good study in human behavior (although I get teased about finding value in Napoleon Dynamite too, so maybe I'm not the best judge). It's the one show we huddle around the tv (or computer, if we've missed it) to watch.

4) I'm taking a field trip with my younger daughter's class to our state Capitol on Monday. Nebraska has the distinction of being the only state in the nation which has a Unicameral government, meaning we have only one set of legislators. No separate house and senate in this land.



5) How do you encourage someone who doesn't understand God's power or involvement in life? What can you possibly say to bring them comfort? I talked with a man the other night who was down and having trouble sleeping. I have the same problem often and told him so, but didn't give him my solution because I figured he'd think it crazy. When I can't sleep I pray and meditate on Scripture. Since he doesn't have the same regard for or relationship with God, I didn't think he'd appreciate the advice. (For the record, I thought HIS way of handling problem nuts too.) Yet, ever since our conversation I have thought about him and felt sad over his lack of hope without God in his life. We have talked about God before and he is always polite, but never seems to take it to heart. I feel like I'm annoying him.

I suppose I need to share unashamedly, whether he understands it or not, whether he is annoyed or not, and let the Truth stand for itself. I messed it up this time. Lord, give me more courage.

6) My Bible study buddies gave me a huge compliment this week. They told me my house is homey and they love hanging out here on Wednesday evenings. It doesn't get any better than that. I doubt they understand how they bless me when they feel free enough to linger after Bible study is over. Our family has always believed God gave us this house to provide a haven for people. Praise the Lord. He's making it happen.

7) What do you do when your mind is fuzzy and you've got nothing else to say? Fudge on #7 and call your Quick Takes done.

Have a great weekend and be sure to hop over to Conversion Diary for more Quick Takes.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Seeking Peace

Life presses in and I get stressed, tired, worn. The first thing I do is pray.

"Please, God, give me relief from this world. Send me your peace."

Sometimes it "works," sometimes it doesn't. But after reading 2 Peter, I think I've had it all wrong.
Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord.

2 Peter 1:2

Do you see it? Grace and peace are not magic fairy dust that sprinkles down on us when we pray. They come through our KNOWLEDGE of God and Jesus. When we read of His love and sacrifice we are blessed. When we understand the character of God, we know He is trustworthy. Is it right to expect God to grant us peace just by asking for it without seeking Him out in His Word?

And if that isn't enough, check out the next verse.

His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of Him who called us by his own glory and goodness.

2 Peter 1:3

We are given everything we need through our KNOWLEDGE of Him. Everything.

Do you need any more motivation to crack open your Bible?

Friday, March 20, 2009

Quick Takes Time



1) Last week I decided to try a little experiment. I made seven Quick Takes statements and then proceeded to write an entire blog post on each one in the following seven days. It was good practice for me (although not without a little pressure) and it did improve my traffic stats, but I often felt I was slapping something on, not giving it the thought it deserved. What did you think?

In case you missed any, here are the links for last week's seven posts.

True love risks offending.

What can we do to alleviate the fear in this economic crisis?

How much are you willing to sacrifice to reach your goals?

Marriage offers sanctuary and safety.

What do you reveal about yourself in the way you handle criticism?

Without knowing the nuances of Greek or Hebrew and the complete cultural climate surrounding Biblical cultures, how can we gain an accurate understanding of Scripture?

Sometimes love cannot be explained.

2) I finally let the cat out of the bag at Bible study Wednesday night. Whenever the word "balance" is used in Christian circles it takes everything I have not to explode. This will have to be its own post one day, I'm sure, but I am so fired up passionate about it right now I'm afraid of stepping on people's toes and hurting feelings. For now let's just say I think the idea of balance is a man-made concept (not necessarily without merit), but not based on scripture.

Okay, breathe, Tami, breathe.

3) My kids are a kick. Last week it was Fairy Tale night at youth group. My kids decided to be the Princess and the Pea. My SON was the Princess and my daughter was the Pea.



The topper is my son donned the dress I wore in my cousin's wedding when I was pregnant with him! Weird.

4) This weekend is big stuff at our church. My husband put together the Homestead Choral Festival. People from churches in our area will come together in one mass choir, close to 150 voices, to perform a concert together. This year's clinician is Mark Hayes. He's a big gun to bring into our little town and we're pretty excited about it. We've got different church denominations represented and kids from the high school and community college coming as well. It's neat to see such a diverse group of people come together for one purpose--praising God. Go, God, go.

5) Spring is giving me the I-have-nothing-to-wear syndrome, or maybe it's really the I-need-to-lose-weight syndrome. Bleh.

6) My daughter is going on her first real date tonight which got me thinking about mine. My single days were not full of dates, so figuring out the first wasn't hard, but I surprised myself when I realized it was actually with my husband! I remember it being fun and lasting a long time, but for some reason the next one didn't take place until almost two years later. Even then we saw each other a few times over a couple of months, and just quit again. Nothing happened really. We just stopped going out. I didn't talk to him for another six months. And one day, two and a half years after our initial outing, he showed up at my doorstep and we started talking. . .and talking and talking and soon I couldn't get enough of him. I guess the spark took a while to light, but it made for a flame that burns strong.

7) The mind is a fascinating organ. Lately I've been thinking about some memories of years gone by, some twenty-five to thirty years ago, and I am surprised at how much I can recall. Reconstructing scenes in my head brings back this rush of remembrance I tucked away some where. I remember the smells, the tone of voices, the way rooms were situated, even my impressions of what was happening at the time. I wonder how accurate it is.

There's no way to tell and perhaps that's the beauty of memories. No one can take them from you.

My brains' starting to hurt now. Time for some sleep. Have a great weekend, friends.

Be sure to take a peek at Conversion Diary for more Quick Takes.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Sometimes love cannot be explained.

I often tell her she's beautiful (and I'll keep doing so until she believes me). She comes back with, "I don't know why you say that."

I just love her, that's why. And to me, she's so beautiful.

I react to my husband the same way she does to me. He says he loves me and I say, "But why?"

He starts with a few reasons and gets frustrated when I still don't get it. Finally he sighs and gets defensive saying, "I don't know. I can't explain it. I just do. Why do I have to have a reason?"

And there it is. Love is beyond explanation. And why shouldn't it be? The Ultimate Lover is our example. God Almighty defies all reason to love us.

And yet He does.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

How can we gain an accurate understanding of Scripture?

Have you ever noticed that each version of the Bible has a unique take? In my Bible study group we have several translations represented and sometimes they don't seem like they're saying quite the same thing. For instance, take 1 Corinthians 7:1.

In the King James and New American Standard it says, "It is good for a man not to touch a woman." The New International Version reads, "It is good for a man not to marry." The Message puts it, "Is it a good thing to have sexual relations?"

Which is it? Now if you take them together and read on, we see the point, but what if you only have one version? What if you miss the nuance? Is it necessary to do our devotions out of several Bible translations? Should we start studying Greek and Hebrew (OY! Lotta pressure!)? How can we be sure we are gaining an accurate understanding?

It can make a person a little dizzy.

If I think about it too much (and you know me), I could get intimidated and give up. I've got to reconcile this so I continue to seek God and grow in my faith. There is only one way.

I've got to rely on the Holy Spirit.

But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.

John 14:26

I absolutely should work hard at it, investigating other translations, reading entire passages, cross-referencing verses, and yes, perhaps take a crack at the Greek, but first and foremost, I have to depend on the Holy Spirit to do His thing.

Yet another way to trust God.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

What do you reveal about yourself in the way you handle criticism?

It was obvious she wasn't there for help. She wouldn't take our suggestions. She got defensive and even a little irritated. Why would a person come to a writing group if they weren't willing to consider how readers interpret the work?

But then I wondered, what do I reveal about myself in the way I take criticism?

When I dismiss it, am I arrogant?
When it crushes me, am I weak?
When I'm ready to take it on, am I belligerent?
When I let it define me, am I a people pleaser?

How can we use criticism in a God-honoring way?

Listen to advice and accept instruction, and in the end you will be wise.

Proverbs 19:20

Amen. Lord, protect our hearts and give us the courage.


Monday, March 16, 2009

Marriage Offers Sanctuary and Safety

Every day ends the same.

Couch time.

No matter what has happened in my day (or his), when the sun's gone down we end up there. He welcomes my legs in his lap, my head on his chest or only my presence close enough to touch if he wants to. Or not.

I can air my gripes, my concerns, my irrational thoughts, without worrying about saying the wrong thing. I might doze as he watches television or comb my fingers through his hair as he sleeps in my lap. I may talk a mile a minute, barely able to get it all out and he listens and smiles as if he actually enjoys it. Or I can sit, saying nothing at all, lost in my own thought or someone else's as I read e-mails and blogs. It doesn't matter.

At the end of every day, he'll be there.

With a place for me.

And no expectations.

Letting me be who I am.

Ending every day with a sigh.



Related posts:

The Sanctuary of Christian Marriage
Marriage: For Happiness or Holiness?
Why Romance Matters

Sunday, March 15, 2009

How much are you willing to sacrifice to reach your goals?

I don't consider myself a driven person. In personality type terms, I'd call myself a melancholy phlegmatic, or in Tami-speak, a moody floater. Yet as much as I sort of fly by the seat of my pants, there's a big part of me that fears leaving this earth without having left my mark.

I want to accomplish something.

I suspect you do too. How would you fill in the blank on these questions?

Some day I'd like to____________ .
If I could do one thing before I die I would_____________.
I've always wanted to_____________.

Even as a child I was struck that most people don't achieve their dreams. Something in me SCREAMS about that. I don't want to be in that camp. Have I wasted my life if I don't get my blanks filled in and checked off?

But here's the kicker. Goals are HARD to reach. Life, duty, responsibility get in the way. We have to deliberately pursue them, making choices accordingly. As I've aged I see my time slipping. My "some days" are fewer. Do I really want to go for these aspirations or should I let them go, writing them off as childhood fantasy?

I've had to ask myself some tough questions. How important is this? How would I feel if I died without having achieved it? How much am I willing to sacrifice to get there? Is it worth it?

And as a Christian I have to set it up on God's scales. Does it bring Him glory? Is it part of His plan for me? If so, what is He asking me to give up to work towards it?

They are some heady questions, uncomfortable questions whose answers are elusive. But they can't be ignored if I am serious about reaching a dream.

How much are you willing to sacrifice to reach your goal?


Saturday, March 14, 2009

What can we do to alleviate the fear in this economic crisis?

First off, don't let my confident title give you the wrong impression.

I am a big, fat weenie.

I worry and stew about money as much as anybody. I am full of what ifs. I lay awake at night like the rest of you. I consider the cost too much sometimes, bordering on obsessive.

So to write a post about alleviating fear over the economy may be biting off WAY more than I can chew.

But as I was dealing with my own fears this week, it occurred to me I can handle this worry like any other I have dealt with throughout my life. I find I get too far ahead of myself causing undue stress, so I ask myself a series of questions to focus on one day at a time.

Is there anything I can do about this today?
If so, I push myself to do it. If not, I spend my energy pushing it out of my mind. There is no sense dwelling on something I can do nothing about. (Yes, this is easier said than done, but everything gets better with practice.)

What can I be thankful for?
There is always more good than bad in my life. I just tend to focus on the bad. Concentrating on the good gives me a better perspective.

Has God ever let me down?
Recalling past history with a very gracious God reminds me my fears are unfounded.

What is true about TODAY?
Do I have what I need? Always.
Has my situation changed? Hardly ever.

I know these sound simplistic, but I have found them to be of GREAT comfort in stressful times, helping me think rightly (or sometimes not at all) about the current crisis. It absolutely takes practice to train your brain this way, but the benefit of a peaceful heart and mind is worth it. "One day at a time" is more than a nice adage. It is a healthy way for our heads to live.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Matthew 6:34



Friday, March 13, 2009

True Love Risks Offending

She is my dear, dear friend, my trustworthy, like-minded, smart, deep-thinking, wise friend.

So when she sat across the table from me and said, "You're wrong," it nearly took my breath away.

She has challenged my thinking many times, but never to this level of disagreement. What could this mean? Would she think less of me now? Was this difference of opinion going to affect our relationship? I didn't like the feeling.

But if she truly felt I was wrong and said nothing, wouldn't that be worse? If she perceived my thinking as going down the wrong path, but kept quiet, could I call her reliable or faithful? If she kept her mouth shut, would she be my friend?

She took the hard route, the risky, selfless way.

She loved me.

Better is open rebuke than hidden love.

Proverbs 27:5



Quick Takes Springboard



It's been a hectic week for me, and while I look forward to Fridays to post these Quick Takes, I haven't had much time to work on it. So I'm trying something new. Today I'm going to post only the basic ideas running through my head and take each topic one day at a time, completing one thought each day in the next week. Hopefully I won't give you that horrible "to be continued" feeling and you'll hang in there with me (and let's pray I won't lose my steam!).

So here are the words floating around in my little brain this week.

1) True love risks offending.

2) What can we do to alleviate the fear in this economic crisis?

3) How much are you willing to sacrifice to reach your goals?

4) Marriage offers sanctuary and safety.

5) What do you reveal about yourself in the way you handle criticism?

6) Without knowing the nuances of Greek or Hebrew and the complete cultural climate surrounding Biblical cultures, how can we gain an accurate understanding of Scripture?

7) Sometimes love cannot be explained.

Stay tuned for the meat of these throughout this week. Happy Friday, friends.

Click over to Conversion Diary for more Quick Takes.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Bringing God Glory

She thought she could do it by being the best.
But no matter how hard she tried, there was always someone better.

So she devoted herself to doing it right.
But she was human and messed it up.

She decided to learn everything she could.
But searching always brings more questions.

Maybe it was best to concentrate on pleasing Him.
But how do you know when you've pleased God?

She prayed and served and sought. She loved and listened and waited.
None of it seemed enough. He had done so much more. He deserved so much more. How could her measly efforts ever bring Him glory?

Finally He spoke,

I don't need you to be the best.
I don't need you to be perfect.
I don't need you to be right.

I need you to be you.

I don't want what you can do.

I want you.


Friday, March 06, 2009

7 More Quick Takes



1) My daughter was reading an old paperback she found on her bookshelf and reminded me of my advanced years when she asked quite innocently, "Mom, what's a Walkman?" (If some of you reading this don't know either, keep it to yourself. I don't even want to know.)

2) I hate generalizations. HATE them. My underwear gets in a wad whenever mass generalizations are used, statements like,

"Teens are rude and disrespectful."
Not my teens, at least not on a regular basis. Besides, aren't we all rude and disrespectful at times?

"Politicians are a bunch of corrupt power mongers."
While it may be true some are, please don't group the good ones, the ones who sacrifice their time and energy, those whose families sacrifice their presence, all for the sake of protecting what is right. It is unfair to say this of those who spend hours in research and drafting policies to benefit others who rarely thank them.

"The church is too hypocritical."
References to "the church" make me want to scream! WHO? Who exactly are you talking about? I'm part of the church and I try very hard NOT to be hypocritical. I'm sure I fail at times, but don't we all?

I often wonder if a person making such a blanket statement would have the courage to say it to someone one-on-one. It's easy to say "the church is intolerant," (and why do we think we're making profound pronouncements when we use generalizations?) but it takes a much higher level of confidence to say to an individual "You are intolerant." Should these generalizations come out of our mouths if we aren't willing to consider the individuals we refer to as part of the group?

Man, this stuff rattles my cage. I need to catch my breath.

3) FYI--Amid all the hullabaloo over changing their terms of use, Facebook went back to their initial terms, but have something up their sleeve to change the format of home pages. They have a link to check it out, but I haven't been game to look. Too much other stuff to do.

4) My year of FOCUS continues. God is faithfully confronting me with tough questions. The other night I listened to a woman talk about busyness and she challenged us to look at our suckers. What is taking up my time, stealing my energy? Many things are good to be part of, valuable and helpful, worthy of my time, but does that make them necessary? Should I do them simply because I can? I can teach Sunday school, but should I? I can sing, but does it mean I should be in choir? I can do all sorts of things, but it doesn't necessarily mean I should.

This is really tough for me, because I figure if I don't do a particular job, someone else will have to, and their time is just as valuable as mine. In thinking about this, I recall often how Jesus admonishes Martha saying, "Mary has chosen what is better. . ." Does this mean I need to be more selective in how I spend my time? What is better for me? I'm glad I've got a year to work on it.

5) I have a Twitter account, but I just can't get into it. I have the opportunity to spout 140 characters about myself as many times a day as I deem fit and let the world know how my day is going, but I keep asking myself, Who cares?! Do you really want the play by play on an ordinary housewife in small town Nebraska? Yawn. It's supposed to be good for networking and I'm trying, but I'm afraid there's no big rush to be in my circle. What I'd like to do is import my Twitter feed into my Facebook status so I can kill two birds with one stone, but I haven't been able to figure it out yet. Can anybody help me out?

6) An old emotional wound started seeping again this week. Sigh. I'm interpreting it as a sign I've missed something. Apparently I'm lacking perspective or wisdom regarding this hurt. There must be something more God wants me to do with it, something else I need to learn. Some would say the devil is trying to plague me, which could be true, but something in my gut says it's about me and my growth this time. How do you decide what you should and shouldn't examine in life?

Wait, I already know what you're going to say--Tami, quit thinking so hard.

7) How about a word that really matters now? I leave you with some words from Psalm 18 which touched me this week.

To the faithful you show yourself faithful, to the blameless you show yourself blameless, to the pure you show yourself pure. . .You save the humble but bring low those whose eyes are haughty. You, O Lord, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light. . .As for God, His way is perfect; the word of the Lord is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in Him. For who is God besides the Lord? And who is the Rock except our God?


Aah. Doesn't that feel better? Be sure to click to Conversion Diary to read more Quick Takes and see pictures of Jen's new baby! Have a good weekend.

Monday, March 02, 2009

The Glory of Christian Marriage

1st Monday Every Month at Chrysalis


Though the scene was familiar, I was mesmerized every time. An ordinary, and sometimes boring church service would be transformed whenever our pastor and his wife decided to close with their signature song. Seeing them come together arm in arm and hearing the piano play the intro to "He Touched Me," caused me to perk up immediately. It wasn't their singing that made it magical for me, although they weren't bad singers, but it was the way they made me feel. You could see sincere appreciation, respect and love float around them. I would watch in wonder, thinking, "If that's what God does for a marriage, I'll follow Him."

What better way to witness to the world?

In marriage, God has given us the potential to be the ultimate display of His glory. When we share a great marital relationship, people notice. I point others to God when I love my husband well. What kind of wonderful, brilliant design is that?

Not that all of marriage is roses and chocolate, but a commitment to God first and each other second is visible. People are drawn in, wondering what makes it work. If they look closely they find the glue holding us together is Jesus.

Want to bring glory to God? It's as easy as loving your husband.

Wander over and take a peek at more Marriage Monday posts at A Pair of Bartletts.