Cause Sometimes A Girl Needs a Good Laugh

I'm Not Taking it Any More

I sat at a table with three successful men. As I listened to their experiences and accomplishments and saw them struggle to engage me in conversation, that sinking feeling, that faint whisper of failure creeped in.

Who are you? What have you done?

I recognized the lie immediately and commenced the battle in my mind. Who defines success? Man looks at the outward appearance. God looks at the heart.

But really, what success have you had? You are so small. Can't anybody do what you do?

It's true I haven't had a full-time job since 1990. I don't earn any money, the worldly measure of worth. I don't have a title or impressive credentials. How do I measure success? Where can I find validation? It's certainly not from my daughter who takes eye rolling to a professional level or from my son who complains he has no clean underwear.

See? You're a nobody.

Sigh.

What have you done? You're nothing compared to these guys.

No. That's not true.

You're not in the same league. You don't stack up with them at all.

No! You're wrong. How do you articulate the value of touching others' lives? I have a file folder full of kind words from others proving what I do matters. My work may not be impressive or outstanding in a worldly sense, but God says it's important.

And the sneaky serpent slithered away.

I'm not taking it any more. I don't have to prove my worth. I only have to align myself with a Holy God. As others list their achievements, I can ponder His mysterious work in my life.

And know my value.

Don't believe the father of lies, my friends. You are not a failure. You are not inept. You are not a nobody. Don't sit back and take his condemnation. You must fight! What are you missing while wallowing in Satan's web of deceit? If you are a committed child of God, you are chosen, holy and dearly loved. You are forgiven and set free from the bondage of proving yourself worthy. You have within you the Holy Spirit, empowering you to achieve anything God may ask.

Don't lay back and accept defeat. What are the devil's lies keeping you from doing? Fight! Don't let him rob your confidence. Don't take it any more.

Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith . . .And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.

1 Peter 5:8-10

The Answer

Lord, what am I supposed to be doing with my life?
What's the best way to parent my children?
How can I make better use of my time?
What does my friend need?
How will we pay for ___________ ?
How do I know You are pleased?
What specifically do You expect from me today?

Questions. So many questions. I'm persistent. I'm faithful. I believe He knows but He says nothing. I'm in the dark, taking each day as it comes.

Yet my lack of concrete answers keeps me searching. Would a solution make me complacent, give me security in myself? Would knowing hinder my faith journey? If I had the answers, would I find a reason to come before God?

I know now, Lord, why you utter no answer. You are yourself the answer. Before your face questions die away. What other answer would suffice?
~ C.S. Lewis ~

Somehow, in His presence, the questions are less urgent, the solution not as necessary. I may not know exactly what my kids need, but if I know HIM, He'll get me through. Seeking Him every morning will direct my days, my future. Not knowing where the money will come from sets me up for a miracle. Not understanding the needs of a friend ensures their name will be lifted to an Almighty God.

I waste time looking for specifics. Instead, I need to set my sights on THE Answer.

Turn your eyes upon Jesus.
Look full in His wonderful face
and the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
in the light of His glory and grace.
Sound simplistic? Sure. But what does faith hurt? The alternative is worry and anxiety. Which would you rather have?

To read more thoughts about this quote, visit our host, Jennifer at Ponderings of an Elect Exile.

Don't You Quit

My words had done it again. Offended. Hurt. Caused conflict.

Sigh.

It was not my intention. I work hard to be respectful, positive, open-minded, loving. Yet you can't please everybody. You can't predict how others will react. You can't know how past experiences jade those around you.

And so sometimes, though they were not meant to, words will wound. When mine do, it both saddens and scares me. It quiets me. It triggers my hiding instinct.

But God tells me I cannot hide.

Sigh.

When it happened this time I prayed. I sought counsel. I let it go, but my heart was still heavy so I headed to the gym. Time to burn off some steam, I thought. I needed a release from myself, from my sadness, my stewing, my fear. Could a hard workout make me too tired to think? Can a person sweat out emotional turmoil? I was determined to try. I stepped onto the treadmill intending to completely wear myself out. I had just jacked up my speed when God spoke loud and clear.

Don't you quit until I tell you to.

No problem. It was going to take a while to rid myself of the anxiety I felt. My mind wouldn't shut off.

Lord, it will happen again. There's no way to protect myself.

Don't you quit. Not until I tell you to.

My heart rate jumped, my breathing quickened, but I was there until He said to stop.

I will do whatever you tell me, Lord, but when someone gets upset, it's so hard.

Don't you quit.

Sweat beaded in my eyebrows, trickled down my neck, my back, in the creases of my elbows.

I don't mean to hurt others and yet I do. It's only a matter of time before it occurs again. I'm not sure my heart can take it.

Don't you dare quit.

And then I realized He wasn't talking about running.

Don't you quit until I tell you to.

What is God asking you to do? Is He telling you not to quit? Is He pushing you into greater reliance and trust on Him?

Don't you quit.

7 Quick Takes (Volume 126)

1) Ladies Man was being exceptionally loud at the dinner table, more loud than usual, which is saying something, let me tell you! Anyway, after a while it grated on his parents.

Me: Umm, are you done eating?

Ladies Man: Yeah.

Me: You could leave the table.

Surprisingly he didn't come back with any smart retorts, but picked up his dishes and took them to the kitchen. As Ladies Man passed him, Kevin shot me a look.

Drama Queen: Uh oh. Dad just got humongous bug eyes which means you're annoying the crap out of him!

Aren't you proud of Kevin's self-control?

2) Drummer Boy is really starting to look like a man. This is normal for a guy nearing his 21st birthday, but it took me aback when he walked in the house the other night with facial hair. It had only been a week since I'd seen him! He's experimented in the past (aka didn't feel like shaving), but never has he looked quite like this.


You can't see it in this picture, but he's also got a thin line that extends from the goatee to each side burn. I think he called it a chin strap. And the whole smack has gotten thicker in the week since this was taken. I like the look, but it's so WEIRD to have a son who's a MAN!

3) Miss Innocent One received a love letter this week, an honest-to-goodness love letter. Talk about CUTE! The 12-year-old who wrote it captured my heart with his courage, but she wasn't as impressed. She doesn't, shall we say, reciprocate his great feelings for her. She didn't buy my attempts to show her how adorable and brave the boy was instead calling the note "nasty." (Never mind that she couldn't hide her smile as she said it.) To her utter confusion, I stopped her from throwing it in the trash. I reasoned there may be a day she needs to hear she should be queen of the world because she's so amazing or that she's beautiful with a cute laugh and eyes that sparkle like diamonds. Oh my goodness, just thinking about it I'm gushing over the SWEETNESS of it! Don't you love it?!

4) Last night was parents' night for our high school drumline. Parents are invited to the last rehearsal before championships (which are Saturday) for a demonstration of what the kids have been doing all season. One tradition they chose to make private this year (my heart thanks you) is when they perform the show without the seniors. It gets emotional for all the kids seeing how the seniors will be missed. Then they get the whole group in a big circle and each senior takes a turn in the middle where people tell them what they like about them, how they've inspired them, etc. Talk about tears! I'm sure Drama Queen had a tough time with it. Does it make me a bad mother that I'm glad parents weren't allowed this year?

Anyway, I snapped a few pictures of she and her buddies before the waterworks started. Here she is with Cutie Patootie. I love this girl. Remember, Cutie Patootie, you promised you'd visit next year!


And these are the boys who join her on the snare line. Can you tell they get along pretty well?


5) My quest-to-never-be-an-episode-of-Hoarders update:

This week I cleaned off a big bookcase in Miss Innocent One's room. Also, Kevin cleaned out a spare bedroom and turned it into a guest room. It was a big job that took all weekend. Since we are one, I can get a little credit for that too, can't I?

6) Kevin got out the Chips Ahoy cookies with rainbow chips and since it's my hormonal week that makes me want to eat everything in sight, man, oh man! did those cookies look good.

Kevin: Just have one. One won't kill you.

Me: What's a serving size?

Ladies Man (reading the label): One cookie?!

Me: How many calories in one cookie?

Ladies Man: 90

Me: Not worth it. Besides it's just full of sugar and fat.

Ladies Man: Less than 1 gram protein.

Me: See? There's nothing good in there . . . except flavor.

Sigh.

7) If you're looking for something to do Saturday night (yes, the same night as the Drumline Championships--ugh!) and you live in my area, come check out the Homestead Choral Festival.


That's all for me today friends. Have a great weekend and be sure to read some other Quick Takes at Conversion Diary.

A Wish to Be Used

Prayer of Mother Teresa

Dear Jesus, help us to spread your fragrance
everywhere we go.
Flood our souls with your spirit and life.
Penetrate and possess our whole being so utterly
that our lives may only be a radiance of yours.
Shine through us and be so in us
that every soul we come in contact with
may feel your presence in our soul.
Let them look up and see no longer us, but only Jesus.
Stay with us and then we shall begin to shine as you shine,
so to shine as to be light to others.
The light, O Jesus, will be all from you.
None of it will be ours.
It will be you shining on others through us.
Let us thus praise you in the way you love best
by shining on those around us.
Let us preach you without preaching,
not by words, but by our example;
by the catching force -
the sympathetic influence of what we do,
the evident fullness of the love our hearts bear to you.

Amen.

Tattoos, Salvation and the Proverbs 31 Lady

“We talked in Sunday school about how tattoos are sinful,” my son said, jumping into the van after church.

I squirmed in the driver’s seat. I was glad to have a reason to sway my thirteen-year-old from wanting a tattoo, but didn’t find his statement accurate.

“Our teacher showed us a verse that says you shouldn’t mark your body.”

I knew what he was talking about, but I also knew it was found in the Old Testament, part of the Old Covenant, a set of laws we are no longer bound to as new creatures in Christ. I had a decision to make. Should I let him believe tattoos were a sin and save myself a possible adolescent battle later or should I tell him the truth?


Click on The Quiet Quill where I am guest posting to read the rest of the story.

When God Seems Unfair

I knew why boys overlooked me. I saw it in the mirror every day of my life. I was nice enough, but not attractive enough. I understood their apathy toward me, but it didn't take away my desire for a relationship. It didn't make me stop wishing for one guy to see past my outer flaws. Knowing why boys didn't look my way didn't take away my yearning for a husband.


I spent many hours alone in my bedroom asking God why. Why did He let me be overweight? Why did I have to be so uncomfortable around boys? Why did I have to feel so unattractive? Why couldn't any guys see the real me? Why did I have to be limited by my appearance? Why did I have to live with a sister everyone wanted to date? Why couldn't I feel normal for one day?

“In the darkest of our times, God is plotting for our glory. If we would believe this and remember it, we would not be blind when God reveals His grace.”

~ by John Piper ~
A Sweet and Bitter Providence: Sex, Race, and the Sovereignty of God

I scoured my Bible for answers. It said, "God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose" and "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart" and "If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."*

Concluding it would take a miracle for any man to look beyond my shell to find the good qualities within, I started praying, believing God could do the impossible, knowing if it was going to happen, only He could do it. I trusted God to be who He said He was. I chose to believe.

And God, in His gracious, abundant, miraculous way, answered my prayer over and above what I asked. He provided a man who appreciates ALL of me. Those lonely days in my bedroom seem MORE than worth it for the lifetime of joy I know now with my wonderful husband.


Would I have appreciated my husband as much without the darkness of longing? Would I work as hard at my marriage without recognizing it as a miracle? Would I understand the glorious Truth of His Word without being tested to believe it? Would I have experienced His lavish grace without having felt deprived of it?

Truly He knows what brings about our best and His glory. When God seems unfair, we have a choice to make. We can fight our dark days, thinking Him an unfeeling dictator. Or we can move on in hope, believing Him, expecting His deliverance. We can trust our imperfect eyesight or His all-knowing, perfect path.

What will you choose?

For more thoughts on this quote, visit Loni at Writing Canvas.



*Romans 8:28, Psalm 37:4, Matthew 21:22

The Beauty of Simple Moments

I laid flat on my back on our bedroom floor, trying to catch my breath. Already tired from my workout at the gym, I came home to do a few more exercises to strengthen my core.

My husband walked in, leaned down on all fours over me and gently kissed my lips.

"How are you this morning?" he asked, his nose half an inch from mine, his voice low, hampering my attempt to lower my heart rate.

"Fine. Just need to finish these up."

He got up, settled himself on the bed and asked, "What do you have to do?"

Feeling a little self-conscious, I went through my routine while he watched. His mouth curved ever so slightly, his eyes sparkled, his entire being rapt in my little exercises. It was the same look I get when he's listening to me go on and on about something, a special attention to every word. He seemed genuinely delighted, delighted in me, his sweaty, smelly wife with flat hair and no makeup, performing a mundane daily task.

The way he looked at me made me feel as giddy as a young girl in love and I kept going through my motions to extend our flirty game. I saved the most awkward for last, a neck exercise that resembles a strutting chicken, knowing he would find it hysterical. He didn't disappoint, bursting into fits of laughter as I tried to demonstrate.

Though I gave him a firm slap on the rear, my heart treasured the goofy, ordinary encounter, the reminder from his delighted eyes that I mean something to him. He does a great job communicating his love for me, but simple moments like these leave no doubt.

Are you catching the simple moments in your house, friends? Are you seeing that look in his eye? Do you notice the touch on your back as he walks by? Are you enjoying your inside jokes? Do you share those knowing smiles? Do you sense the comfort of the other as you curl up on the couch watching a movie? Those beautiful snippets of time, those daily reminders of your togetherness, bind you and establish a lifetime of connection. Don't miss them. Cherish them.


To read more Marriage Monday posts, visit e-Mom at Chrysalis.

7 Quick Takes (Volume 125)

1) Miss Innocent One and I were having a discussion about people living together before they are married. It's become so common these days, I wanted to be sure she understood where we stood on the issue.

Me: You realize that's not God's way to do it, don't you?

Miss Innocent One: Mom, I watch Judge Judy.

Apparently she's caught it when I've pointed out the obvious. "See, see how this doesn't work?!" Who says there are no redeeming qualities in television?

2) My quest-to-never-be-an-episode-of-Hoarders update: This week I cleaned out a cabinet in my master bathroom. Also I was forced to clean out my silverware drawer when Ladies Man caught his pocket on the drawer front and ripped it off. It got sent home with Grandpa for repair, so I had to empty it out first.

My house is getting in order, people. Truly. And I am feeling better. I don't even feel so snarky about the Proverbs 31 lady anymore. Bonus.

3) Superman is still going strong in the 52 weeks of romance. I've gotten e-cards, flowers, poems. For three weeks he gave me a new portion of a song he wrote and in the third week he gave me a CD with him singing it. Yes, there were misty eyes. Yesterday he surprised me with a creamy caramel latte. Ahhh. This guys is fantastic. I LOVE YOU, MY DARLING HUSBAND!

I think he's starting to feel the pressure though because he's run out of traditional romantic gestures, plus he knows I anticipate what each week will bring. Maybe you should pray for him! (Never mind that you're prayers will benefit me. You're praying for HIM.)

4) Last week our high school hosted a winter guard and drumline show. One of our parents shot this stellar video of our kids' performance. Nice work Greg. Thanks! Any time you hear a single snare, it's my Drama Queen who you'll usually find in the middle of the three snare players (she wears a red shirt). Drummer Boy WROTE the music for the show. Am I a proud mama? You better believe it.


You get a good idea at what goes on at these shows from this, but let me tell you, the live performance is so much more exciting.

5) Miss Innocent One is coming into her own. At last week's drumline show, she and a friend took a break for food. When her friend kept dipping a finger in her nacho cheese she became annoyed. This in itself is surprising, for this girl has more patience than anyone I know, but what she did next blew me away.

Miss Innocent: I asked her to quit, but she wouldn't, so finally I just spit in the cheese so she wouldn't use it.

Are you sensing some passive aggressive tendencies?

6) It's time again for our church's annual choral festival. This year's clinician is an accomplished musician and conductor from Fort Worth, Texas who regularly conducts at Carnegie Hall. He has an impressive list of credentials. It should be a great day.


We're totally bummed that the festival falls on the same day as Drumline championships. I'll miss the festival. Kevin will miss championships. He's still sick about it.

7) And hooray for Perfect Baby Angel Child (aka Miss Innocent One) who completely understands the art of sucking up. She made herself some lunch the other day, something she's seen her mother make--lunch meat rolled in up in a lettuce leaf. Her sister made her disdain known immediately.

Drama Queen: What are you eating?

Miss Innocent One: What?

Drama Queen: You're becoming just like Mom.

Miss Innocent One (perfectly on cue): That's not such a bad thing.

YES! She wins the prize for knowing the perfect thing to say to butter up her mother. Really, my other beloved offspring, when will you learn from her?

And that's a wrap for this Friday. Enjoy your weekend and take a gander at some other Quick Takes at Conversion Diary.

To Leave No Question of His Gift

As I watched her sing, it was hard not to be jealous. The notes seemed to fall without effort, each one perfectly placed in a pleasing ebb and flow, beckoning me to listen, soothing my spirit. Her passion proved she believed what she sang and I marveled at the beauty emanating from her. "What a gift," I thought, blinking back tears. Wow.

I always thought I wanted to be the best at something, to be recognized as a stand out in any field, but in that moment, I realized what I've really desired is to be so good at something others would have to know it came from God. Imagine. What would it be like to possess such skill that people could not help but see Him?

The potential is in all of us. The Bible says all believers are given a gift by the Holy Spirit. Why don't we all shine like that? Too often those gifts aren't obvious or public and we dismiss them as insignificant or unimportant. Or because they come easy to us, we think they are no big deal. When we devalue them, do we neglect them? If we think our gift is minor, do we fail to exercise it?

Any master has spent years honing their strengths. No one achieves any level of proficiency without effort. My singing friend has been doing it her whole life. Did she always sound so heavenly? Probably not. It took years of practice. Likewise, our gifts need exercising. Any area of gifting needs to be worked out to reach the point where God is clearly seen. Can we expect to display His supernatural touch if we ignore or downplay our talent?

I have a friend who says her gift is service. And BOY does she exercise it. That woman is always going. She makes me tired just watching her. She finds joy in doing whatever she can to help others. There must be days she'd rather hole up in her house, but she doesn't. Whenever a need arises, she finds a way to meet it, without thought to her inconvenience, without complaining. She sees it as a challenge and takes it on with gusto. The light in her eyes, the smile that accompanies her in every task seems so unnatural, yet draws others in. It is beautiful and I recognize a divine touch on her. There is only one explanation for her joy and ceaseless energy. By using her gift in even the slightest way she points others to God. She would not think her gift anything extraordinary, yet her consistent use of it, her continual practice has shaped a beautiful picture of God.

If we consistently use our gifts, won't we clearly display beauty like that? Won't others notice? When we work at them, gaining greater proficiency every day, will we leave no question of His touch on us?

Are you with me? Do you want your work to count like that, to make that kind of statement? Don't neglect the gift God's placed in you, my friend, no matter how small you think it is. Use it. Work at it. Others will notice your consistency and be pointed to the only explanation. Leave no question.

When the Winds Blow

To Flirt or Not to Flirt

My youngest is growing up. She's catching the playful banter and looks my husband and I give each other. Case in point:

Miss Innocent One: It's embarrassing when you guys flirt in public. I just want to say, "Hello, I'm right here!"

Me: What are you talking about?

Miss Innocent One: Remember when you were going to the concession stand and asked Dad what he wanted?

Me: Yeah. So?

Miss Innocent One: And he said, "You know what I like." EW!

I didn't break it to her, but I won't quit flirting with my husband to satisfy her adolescent angst. I mean, we parents have to use everything we've got to keep those teenagers grossed out, right? It's one last little bit of power we can wield over them. As long as I can repulse them, they'll know their place. That's why later I decided to get a bigger bang out of that buck and told Drama Queen about it. You may as well sicken as many children as you can with one punch.

Me: Miss Innocent One told me it's embarrassing when Dad and I flirt in public.

Drama Queen: It's good when your parents flirt, Miss Innocent One.

What?! She's agreeing with me? Quick, someone record this moment. It may never happen again!

Me (going with it): Yeah. See?

Drama Queen: Well, it can either be cute or disgusting.

Me: Which are we?

Drama Queen: I don't want to answer that question. It's too weird to say you're cute . . . but you're not disgusting.

Ha. Victory!

Me: It's my personal opinion that kids actually like it when their parents flirt because then they know their marriage is secure.

Drama Queen: Whatever.

I should have quit while I was ahead. Less is more, people. Less is more. But I say go for it, parents. Go ahead and flirt. Flirt like the wind. Flirt like there's no tomorrow. Enjoy your marriage and make those teenagers shudder. Secretly they're thinking it's pretty cool, even if they're disgusted in the moment.

7 Quick Takes (Volume 124)

1) Our entire family ended up at the high school for different events. Miss Innocent One came with Drama Queen and Ladies Man, but when they were ready to go, they weren't sure where she was and left her to ride home with us.

Miss Innocent One: Drama Queen and Ladies Man never got me.

Me: They didn't know where you were. They just left.

Kevin: Sorry, babe, you're stuck with us again.

Miss Innocent One: That's okay. I'd rather ride with you. You're not as crabby.

And the heavens opened and glory filled the sky. We're not as crabby as her siblings? We have redeeming qualities in the eyes of one of our children? I'm riding on this high for a while, people. This hardly ever happens.

2) Ladies Man walked into the kitchen for about the tenth time in two hours. He left some dirty dishes and opened the pantry door again.

Ladies Man: I've been really hungry all day. I don't know why. I've never been full today.

Never been full? ALL DAY?! Should I be scared about this?

3) The door bell rang and Miss Innocent One answered it. After being gone a little while she came into the kitchen carrying the bottom to a spring form pan.

Drama Queen: What is that?!

Miss Innocent One: My friend just brought it back. She was sick last week so I made her a giant cookie.

Drama Queen: She was sick so you gave her something full of sugar and fat?

Miss Innocent One: She was feeling a little better when I gave it to her.

Me: She's crazy about cookies. That's why she made it.

Miss Innocent One: She missed the whole week of school. I wanted to make her feel better.

Drama Queen: You're such a kiss up.

Me: You never do anything nice for your friends?

Drama Queen (with the you-must-be-idiots tone): No.

And I just couldn't resist.

Me: Do you HAVE any friends?

Of course I got the desired result. A huge scowl from Drama Queen and a classic retort.

Drama Queen: RUDE!

4) If it isn't enough that apparently I'm the only person in my house who knows how to change a toilet paper roll, now we have a new problem. For weeks I've noticed a little pile of toilet paper dragging down from the roll in our main floor bathroom which baffled me. I'd roll it back up only to have it reappear each day. I don't have toddlers any more who love unrolling the stuff. I couldn't explain it.


And then one day I saw it with my own eyes. I went in the bathroom to talk with Drama Queen as she straightened her hair. Notice the straightener on the counter above the toilet paper? See where the cord rests? Every time she picks up the straightener, the cord unrolls the toilet paper! I was so proud of myself for about 30 seconds, until I realized she knew this was happening and never bothered to move the stinkin' cord! EVERY SINGLE DAY!!! Grrrr . . .

Who knew toilet paper could be so frustrating?

5) The quote of the week comes from Kevin as he uttered this in frustration to Ladies Man:

Don't fart at me when I'm trying to talk to you!

6) I'm not sure, but I may have gone backwards in my quest to never be an episode of Hoarders. I stuffed an empty shoe box into my newly beautiful mother-of-all-closets just to get it out of the way. Is this the beginning of a down hill slide?

7) We've got a full weekend planned. Tomorrow morning is a dress rehearsal for the Beatrice Regional Orchestra I play in and Kevin conducts. Tomorrow night our school hosts a Winter Guard and Drum Line Show. Sunday we have church, the Orchestra concert and a baby shower for my niece. On Sunday evening I'm pretty sure the couch will be calling my name . Oh, and maybe you shouldn't expect anything too exciting for Monday's post either. Just saying.

I hope you have a great weekend planned too, friends. Start it off right by reading more Quick Takes at Conversion Diary.

Healing Words

He blows me away with snippets from the mouths of His children, words which settle deep, validate, overwhelm, words that say what I do matters, who I am is enough, words that confirm His love.

Thank you.
You're a treasure.
I enjoy having you in my life.
God used you in an awesome way.
You looked fabulous.
You would be good at this.
I missed you.
Thanks for letting me know I am not alone.
You touched me.
You are such an encouragement.
You are my forever friend.
I love you.

Words heal. They soothe. They last. And when we take the time to say them, we love. Their power in my life urges me to love the same way. What do others need to hear? How can I shower healing by opening my mouth? The effort, the risk in uttering sincere thoughts is worth it to help another stand taller and understand their value, to realize how God uses them.

A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.

Proverbs 25:11

Our words can be a treasure. May God give us the courage to use them.

Who needs your healing words today?

Mothering By the Book

I'd just finished preparing to lead a Bible study on laying aside the old and putting on the new when it happened.

I blew up at my kid.

And I'm not talking stern, parental voice. I'm talking loss-of-control-yelling, let-a-curse-word-out ugliness. She slammed the door on her way out. I shoved the refrigerator. We both stuffed the tears.

Sigh. Some mother, some Bible study leader I am.

I had a little pity party and cried it out, then decided I better get ready for study. It was going to take me a little more time since I had to iron my shirt.

But when I went for the iron, it was gone, and I remembered my daughter, the very one I'd just gone off on, left it at school. The ire rose again and I grabbed my phone to send her a snarky text, when suddenly God stopped me.

Weren't you just grieved about how she left? Weren't you the one who asked my forgiveness and for wisdom? Try these on for size.

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Proverbs 15:1

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Philippians 2:3-4

Sigh. Was my iron more important than my relationship with my daughter? Did saving face and maintaining my authority matter if my she dreaded coming home?

So I texted, "I hate how you left this morning. I'm sorry."

A few seconds later, my phone buzzed.

"I'm sorry too."

And healing began.

I'm not perfect. I'm moody and selfish and worry about the expectations of others far too much. And I'm definitely NOT a model mother. But I want to be. My kids deserve better. My best shot is to follow God's lead, to know His word and be willing to apply it to ME first.

I need to mother by THE book.



Photo Credit: jamelah

Am I Walking the Talk?

"I could tell right away," he said, "it was the kind of place where people would cuss, then ask forgiveness, but then turn around and swear again."

This was my fifteen-year-old son's assessment of a Christian event he attended with a friend. What was he saying exactly? Was it a place where people were not concerned about their sin or flippant about their faith? Did he sense a spirit of complacency or hypocrisy? And how could he tell? How did he come to this realization so quickly?

People, even young people, can sense a fraud. When our walk doesn't line up with our talk, others take note.

"It is no use walking anywhere to preach unless our walking is our preaching."

Francis of Assisi

There is no place in Christianity for "do what I say, not what I do." If what we say doesn't match up with what we do, our words are nullified. Who trusts a doctor who tells us to watch our cholesterol, yet eats pizza every day for lunch? Would you rely on an accountant who throws away every receipt? Would your kids respect a teacher who harped on homework yet never graded it? We won't be taken seriously unless our behavior mirrors our words. Proverbs tells us, "Even a child is known by his actions, by whether his conduct is pure and right." Even a child.

It's not enough to say all the right things. We must DO all the right things. My son's observation spoke volumes to me. He didn't take a group of Christians seriously because their actions suggested they weren't sincere. Our walk has to match our talk. When it doesn't, we leave the door open for doubt and mistrust.

Lord God, help me walk my talk. May my actions speak louder than my words. Gently show me my inconsistencies and give me the courage to change. Teach me how to preach by walking.


I'd love to hear what you think about this. Leave a comment or if you have a lot to say, chime in with your thoughts by linking up here:

Learning to Trust My Husband

My husband blames it on the fact that I'm slightly older than he is. For the first year of our marriage I thought myself more sensible and mature than him. To be honest, I probably struggled with it the first TEN years of our marriage. I knew his easy-going, trusting, everything's-going-to-be-okay personality. He's the idealist. I'm the realist. He's the music major. I'm the math major. He's creative, right-brained. I'm a left-brained planner. He says, "Imagine this" to which I reply, "But how are you going to do that?" I figured I thought things through more, paid closer attention, possessed greater street smarts (talk about laughable!). He was young and naive. I learned the "proper" way to do everything.

But my artsy, dreaming husband is also very smart. He called me on my attitude. "You think you know better than me," he said repeatedly. And I couldn't disagree! I questioned his ideas and second-guessed his job decisions. I even suggested which route we took while he was driving. I found myself becoming a nag and didn't like it. I prayed God would make him more of a take charge kind of husband so I wouldn't have to worry about making sure he did things right.

But in His good form, God turned the tables on me. He told me it was MY problem. I didn't trust my husband.

My Kevin was trying to be responsible, but I hampered him by doubting his every move. My questions translated into mistrust which suggested disrespect. I had to learn maybe he DID know something and let him run with it. I had to let go of control and LET him be the man he wanted to be.

"You think you know better than me."

It sounded like something one would say to their little sister. I didn't want to be an annoying little sister. I wanted to be the treasured, cherished wife. Something needed to change. And it was me.

I won't say it's been quick or easy, but it's happening. I'm learning to let go. I'm finding he is quite capable of handling a lot of things. I'm learning there's freedom in letting him take care of stuff without being involved.

I'm learning to trust my husband.

And now I'm a woman who feels taken care of, who's husband's got a track record of good decisions. I am the one who breathes a sigh of relief when he says he'll handle it. He's proven he is trustworthy. Relinquishing my control was totally worth the security I've gained in my marriage.

Do you think you know better than your husband? Is your distrust hindering his ability to take care of you? What might you gain by giving up control?

Give it shot. Trust your husband.

For more stories of trust in marriage, visit our host e-Mom at Chrysalis.

7 Quick Takes (Volume 123)

1) I'm not sure if Kevin was struck with momentary insanity or absolute boredom or was feeling especially benevolent to his 12-year-old daughter, but he agreed to watch High School Musical 2, even though he found High School Musical excruciating to watch. He did pretty good for a while and managed to keep his mouth shut the whole time we were watching, but would periodically turn to me with a look that said, "Just shoot me now."

Miss Innocent One wasn't offended in the least, but would giggle whenever Kevin looked like he was in pain. Apparently Ladies Man shares his father's fondness for these movies.

Ladies Man: WHAT are you watching?

Me: High School Musical 2.

Ladies Man: WHY?!

Me: Nothing on T.V., I guess?

Suddenly the main characters burst into song (right after they've clocked into work and left their workplace area) about how they bring the music into each other's lives and Kevin shot a massive eye roll in our direction, I mean, you could nearly hear it.

Ladies Man (disgusted in his own right, asking Miss Innocent One) : Do you really like this?

I found his utter disdain interesting since he spent the afternoon watching reruns of Glee.

Miss Innocent One (giggling): The movie's okay, but it's more fun watching Dad's reactions.

2) Drama Queen turned 18 last Saturday. 18!!! Graduation is in ten weeks! Psychologists talk about separation anxiety in children. Why is it never mentioned in reference to parents as their kids grow up?! You suppose it would be embarrassing for her if I kicked and screamed through commencement?

3) My quest never to be an episode of Hoarders update:

Though I'm going through my daily motions, I've had influenza fuzz all week, feeling draggy and not able to think straight. So I didn't tackle any major project, but I did clean out my e-mail inbox. Hey, cut me some slack. I got rid of over 100 e-mails. Progress is progress, people.

4) Our kids' high school has been having Spirit Week. Ladies Man missed some of it being home sick with influenza himself, but he wasn't going to miss Superhero day. He decided to make a mask out of duct tape. Get a load of this.


5) Poor Miss Innocent One has been studying reproduction in health class.

Miss Innocent One: Ew. It's just gross. We had to look at GUY parts. I'm okay looking at girl parts, but the other is just sick.

That a way, honey. Keep thinking that way for about twenty years.

6) Oh to be young and carefree again. Look what Drummer Boy posted on Facebook:

Not shaving, wearing glasses, having one class, playing wicked clean beats, eating a chicken taco, chatting with hella cool fellas, drinking mountain dew, being an unstoppable force within Finale. KICK AWESOME DAY.

Hmm, what would a kick awesome day for me be? Slept in, coffee with friends, washing machine worked well, no Walmart trips, leisurely reading, lunch with friends, my brain firing on all cylinders, dinner and movie with the fly hubby, kids home at decent time, house quiet by 10:30.

A girl can dream, right?

7) Ladies Man rarely logs out of Facebook and gets hit every time Drummer Boy catches it. Here's the latest blow in the status war:

Ladies Man is really tired of pooping his pants, but he can't stop!

What I found funny is Ladies Man complained to me about it, but didn't change it! I think he kind of likes this little game!

And with that the games are over for this chicky. Continue the fun by reading more Quick Takes at Conversion Diary.

Where Are You Headed?

“If you don’t change the direction you are going, then you are likely to end up where you are headed.”

~John Maxwell ~

I ask God all the time, "What are we doing? Where are we going?"

So far He hasn't answered me, except to say, "Just keep doing what you're doing." I can accept that, and I do, but what direction am I going then? Am I living haphazardly without a plan? Am I squandering away valuable time? Am I headed the wrong way?

Do you know where you're going? Do you have a clear cut end result you're shooting for? Am I the only one who feels like they're "playing it by ear?"

What in the world is this quote talking about?!

I can't know for sure, because I don't have a context for it, but I'm guessing we're being encouraged to look at the direction our daily choices are taking us. Do they bring us closer to Christ or further away? I wish I could say that cleared the matter for me considerably, but I have a hard time deciding where some choices lead. For instance, if I choose to buy a caramel latte, does that take me closer to God or further away? What if I buy a new dress? Or decide I need a nap? Am I moving towards Him when I proofread another scholarship essay for my daughter when all I really want to do is go to bed?

How do you know what direction your daily choices are taking you? Am I destined to be in a tug of war between good and bad choices? How can I be sure every decision I make will take me toward the Light and not away? How can I know where I am headed?

But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Matthew 6:33

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3:5-6

FIRST I choose to follow and actively seek Him. THEN, I let Him direct the path.

Seek and trust.

Whew. Takes the pressure off a bit, doesn't it? It's not to say we won't mess up, but seeking and trusting will keep us going in the right direction.

Where are you headed? Where will you end up? Want assurance you'll get where you want to go?

Seek and trust.


Join Nina at Mama's Little Treasures for more thoughts inspired by this quote.